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Helicopter Parents
April 30, 2013 at 11:25 AM

So, I usually laugh and poke the faddish parenting philosophies. I was listening to a local NPR station this morning and there were a few people in the studio just speaking casually about their experiences. One had a little brother that was going on his first professional job interview and they were talking about the three biggest things that cause a 'millenial' *that's the new buzzword for the newest college grads* to flunk a job interview. According to the conversation in the studio it was this:

#3: texting, smart phoning and social mediaing during said job interview (does this really surprise anyone?)

#2: Failure to address superiors as such.

#1: Parents of job applicants... as in parents who attend job interviews and interfere on behalf of precious Johnny or shining star Judy.


I was shocked. Literally shocked. After all my time on CM I really shouldn't be, but... REALLY? Has it really gone that far? Does anyone really think this is acceptable?

As an aside, I have a friend who teaches UPPER level college courses who says she has parents in her office, on her phone and in her email on a weekly basis asking, complaining and cajoling about their college age children... I'm talking grad students here.

Is this really something we as a society are moving toward as not only an accepted but encouraged form of parenting? It sort of feels that way when I read some of the stuff I read here...

Discuss.




Replies

  • Piskie
    by Piskie
    April 30, 2013 at 2:07 PM
    Yep. Having parents around, totally understandable... Anywhere the boss can see.... No lol..its scary....


    Quoting Lorik1969:

    Why teach anything when all you have to do is call their boss and tell them to quit picking on your little pumpkin lol. I managed a restaurant and parents would pick up applications for their kids, which is fine. I would wait to see who brought the app back. If it was mommy, I didn't even bother with them. If they can't be bothered to turn in their own app then they don't really want the job.




    Quoting Piskie:

    Yes.... Can't tell you how many young people I've interviewed that have no idea of budgeting, interview technique, business behavior etc....


    No one knows anything until they learn... And learning how to function in a business environment seems to be something people aren't teaching.






    Quoting Lorik1969:

    That's not being a helicopter, that's helping. My daughter called me before an important interview for an ego boost lol! I reminded her of her accomplishments and helped with with questions she thought they might ask. I didn't tell her what to say, but rather critiqued her answers.








    Quoting Piskie:

    As a parent, I will totally be involved in my daughters first job....




    I the background! I'll help her prep for interviews, tell her what I'd expect as an employer etc. I'd give her the tools to do it herself.




  • kailu1835
    April 30, 2013 at 2:10 PM

    Pathetic.  I had what I would call a helicoptor mom, but even she stayed out of it when it came to my job. 

  • Euphoric
    April 30, 2013 at 2:10 PM

     Oh wow

  • MommaGreenhalge
    April 30, 2013 at 2:16 PM
    We had a hs grad trying to get a job with us. He worked inventory and had to bring in his as and everything for paperwork. His mom had to bring in his ss card because they don't let him carry it. He didn't get the job.
  • jhslove
    by jhslove
    April 30, 2013 at 2:19 PM

    I've never seen this with my own two eyes, but I believe that it happens. And I agree that it's absolutely ridiculous and these parents are doing their children no favors.

    Is it any coincidence that employers are lamenting the inability of employees in their 20s and 30s to do basic things like take constructive criticism and be willing to start at the bottom and work their way up?

  • Woodbabe
    April 30, 2013 at 2:26 PM

    When my  husband was in the recruiting world he took a phone call from the mom of a new Marine. She was home from boot camp doing recruiter's assistance so she got a six week break before she had to return for more schooling. Her mom didn't like that she had to work on weekends. Um hello...that's the busiest time! I wish I'd been a fly on the wall for THAT conversation!

  • viv212
    by viv212
    April 30, 2013 at 2:33 PM
    Yikes that's a whole different subject. That's controlling (husband) not "parenting".

    Quoting FromAtoZ:

    We have a young woman at work whose husband is always the one calling in for her, calling to see what her schedule is, stating it needs to be changed to meet their needs, etc.

    I asked her why she does not call herself, that she needs to, and not 1/2 hour prior to her shift.  

    Her husband likes to ensure she is taken care of and handles all things that could bring about stress for her, just like her parents used to do.

    Huh?

    I made it clear that she is to follow policy.  Her husband, or her parents, have nothing to do with it and calls from him will no longer be acceptable.  She can write down her own schedule, copy it, what ever, while at work.  For goodness sakes, grow up.

  • Carpy
    by Carpy
    April 30, 2013 at 2:35 PM
    That may be more a control issue than a concern for her wellbeing issue.

    Quoting FromAtoZ:

    We have a young woman at work whose husband is always the one calling in for her, calling to see what her schedule is, stating it needs to be changed to meet their needs, etc.

    I asked her why she does not call herself, that she needs to, and not 1/2 hour prior to her shift.  

    Her husband likes to ensure she is taken care of and handles all things that could bring about stress for her, just like her parents used to do.

    Huh?

    I made it clear that she is to follow policy.  Her husband, or her parents, have nothing to do with it and calls from him will no longer be acceptable.  She can write down her own schedule, copy it, what ever, while at work.  For goodness sakes, grow up.

  • romalove
    April 30, 2013 at 2:53 PM

    Sometimes I am a helicopter parent.

    Sometimes I am James Bond.

    Sometimes I am on vacation.

    Depends on the kid, depends on the issue, and sometimes depends on the day. 

    :-)

  • cjsbmom
    by cjsbmom
    April 30, 2013 at 2:54 PM

    Why does this not surprise me? 

    I am aware that young adults cannot stop texting for anything, but in a job interview? Really?

    And who the hell brings along mommy or daddy? If I were an employer and I saw either of those things, I'd laugh the person right out of my office. 

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