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Ms.KitKat
Why are you a Parent?and what if you weren't?
March 25, 2013 at 7:10 PM

 Did you plan to parent?

Something that you prepared for, plotted, planned and made happen?and after some effort (great or small) it happened and so here you are!

Or was parenthood thrust upon you either through a surprise/unexpected/unplanned pregnancy which when it happened, you stepped forward and so here you are!

But most importantly, what if you COULDN'T (due to infertility issues) to what lengths would you go to become a parent.  When would you stop trying (both physical and financial)? Would you ever stop trying? What would be your limit where you would say- "no, I would never go there!" and accept your state as being a "non-parent" 

Replies

  • ..MoonShine..
    March 25, 2013 at 7:16 PM

    DH and I went back and forth for awhile about whether we wanted kids or not. We liked our freedom. It wasn't until our honeymoon...literally on the plane to Maui...that we decided we wanted to be parents. And then we got a surprise because I got pregnant on our honeymoon. LOL

    Honestly, we probably would not have fought too hard if one of us were infertile. 

  • Citygirlk
    March 25, 2013 at 7:18 PM

    No we didn't plan the twins, but if we couldn't have kids it wouldn't bother us that much. But we would most likely adopt. It's something we plan doing anyway, we love kids and I refuse to get fat again lol.

  • NWP
    by NWP
    March 25, 2013 at 7:20 PM

    My first DD was a surprise, BC fail. We had been together 15 years and weren't planning on children. We planned our second and we are very happy as parents.

    That said, if we didn't have kids, we would prob be living in Paris or something like that. We traveled a lot before children.

  • Ms.KitKat
    March 25, 2013 at 7:24 PM

     DH and I would be on a Greek Island!!!! if not for the kids

    Quoting NWP:

    That said, if we didn't have kids, we would prob be living in Paris or something like that. We traveled a lot before children.

     

  • Ms.KitKat
    March 25, 2013 at 7:26 PM

     

    Quoting Citygirlk:

    No we didn't plan the twins, but if we couldn't have kids it wouldn't bother us that much. But we would most likely adopt. It's something we plan doing anyway, we love kids and I refuse to get fat again lol.

     I'm curious, would you adopt an older, legally free child? 

  • DestinyHLewis
    March 25, 2013 at 7:27 PM

    I went through 11 miscarriages before I had my first daughter who survived, and another in between my first and second. They think my second was a twin. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do to figure out what was wrong with me. Lucky for me, we got stationed in the middle of nowhere MT, and I happened upon a Dr. who figured out what was wrong. It was a genetic disorder that is pretty rare. He was able to save my second dd who was a twin, and allowed me to have my third against all odds. I had to have a hysterectomy after that. My body wouldn't have taken a fourth. I am forever grateful for that man. Love him so much! 

  • Paigesmommy78
    March 25, 2013 at 7:28 PM
    Yes we planed our DD idk I guess we would have done anything and everything we could do so we could become parents we both really wanted children and r ttc number 2 now
  • Woodbabe
    March 25, 2013 at 7:29 PM

    My first one was a BC fail, after using it successfully for five years. My second was planned and took 0.45 seconds to conceive.

    I'm a parent because its illegal to drop them off in Mexico or sell them on Craig's list for organs.

  • Ms.KitKat
    March 25, 2013 at 7:29 PM

     

    Quoting DestinyHLewis:

    I went through 11 miscarriages before I had my first daughter who survived, and another in between my first and second. They think my second was a twin. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do to figure out what was wrong with me. Lucky for me, we got stationed in the middle of nowhere MT, and I happened upon a Dr. who figured out what was wrong. It was a genetic disorder that is pretty rare. He was able to save my second dd who was a twin, and allowed me to have my third against all odds. I had to have a hysterectomy after that. My body wouldn't have taken a fourth. I am forever grateful for that man. Love him so much! 

     My goodness, you went through a lot! Can I ask you, what was your driving force? Whereas some couples would have said "that's it! I'm done"- you continued on. Do you know why that is?

  • stacymomof2
    March 25, 2013 at 7:30 PM

    I was happy as a single woman.  When I met hubs I decided he was the one for me, and then thought "well, if we are going to do the kid thing we'd better get on it!"  I actually didn't put all that much thought into it.  Hubs would have been OK with one but after I got the taste I wanted another.  If I would have been younger I probably would have had at least one more than the two I have.  

    Without kids I probably would have traveled much, much more.  Maybe lived in Egypt or possibly Turkey.

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