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momaof8
spin off adoption post Case for infant adoption
by momaof8
February 7, 2013 at 6:24 AM

What about in cases such as ours where we adopted six infants out of foster. They were all taken from drug addicted violent bio moms. We have had them since birth. Should infant adoptions be banned? If so what happens to these babies?  It just so happens today is the 13th birthday of my adopted daughter. Her biomom had walked into a hospital six times before in full labor high as a kite and given birth only to abandon the babies and walk out. When she gave birth they took her from the bio mom and placed her with us because we already had her brother.   She is thriving beautiful and happy. So what would have happened to her if infant adoption were banned?

Replies

  • romalove
    February 7, 2013 at 6:51 AM

    It is absurd to think that we should ban adoption.  This is real life.  Everyone has their "stuff".  There are tons of people who have biological children and then have issues with the kids or don't raise them right, etc.  There are tons of happy adoption stories.

    People are very quick to judge.

  • LilliesValley
    February 7, 2013 at 6:55 AM
    I guess I missed the other post so I'm not 100% here but I don't see any problem with infantry adoption. I wish older kids were adopted more often and that it cost less money so more people could adopt but I feel I'm out of the loop here.
  • momaof8
    by momaof8
    February 7, 2013 at 6:58 AM

     

    our six adoptions were free

    Quoting LilliesValley:

    I guess I missed the other post so I'm not 100% here but I don't see any problem with infantry adoption. I wish older kids were adopted more often and that it cost less money so more people could adopt but I feel I'm out of the loop here.


     

  • momaof8
    by momaof8
    February 7, 2013 at 7:33 AM

    bump

  • Ms.KitKat
    February 7, 2013 at 8:12 AM

     oh for the love of pete!

    The 'other" thread you speak of is not anything about a mother who abandons her baby but rather makes a parenting plan- many mothers who later believe they were coerced or forced to make this plan. These are women who wanted to parent but had no emotional or financial support to do so and only an "industry" promoting adoption.

    THIS s/o, OP as I have told you 2x over is a whole 'nother story. But so glad to see you started your own thread. But please- it has nothing to do with voluntary reliquishment. 

  • momaof8
    by momaof8
    February 7, 2013 at 9:30 AM

     

    it has everything to do with adoption and banning it.  Also those TERRIBLE side effects from it.  Why is it okay here and outlawed in your thread?  A better home is a better home.

    Quoting Ms.KitKat:

     oh for the love of pete!

    The 'other" thread you speak of is not anything about a mother who abandons her baby but rather makes a parenting plan- many mothers who later believe they were coerced or forced to make this plan. These are women who wanted to parent but had no emotional or financial support to do so and only an "industry" promoting adoption.

    THIS s/o, OP as I have told you 2x over is a whole 'nother story. But so glad to see you started your own thread. But please- it has nothing to do with voluntary reliquishment. 


     

  • mehamil1
    February 7, 2013 at 9:41 AM

    I think she's talking about women who are want their babies but are not in a position to keep them for whatever reason. It's one thing to know you don't want this baby, know deep down that this kid is not for you and you want nothing to do with it. It's another when a woman does want to keep the baby but cannot. Literally cannot for whatever reason. That is much more psychologically damaging on the part of the mother. My aunt had her baby forcibly taken from her in 1963 because she was 15 years old and not married. In those days there were no programs for young single mothers. The state just took them away. As a result, my aunt suffered horribly. To this day she suffers. It was a trauma she never got over. 

    We are no longer in those days thank God. But we are still in a reality where there are women who want their babies but cannot keep them. That is very very tragic and we as a society need to do more to make sure that that doesn't happen. One big way is the BC mandate, where women have access to birth control so they aren't in the position of having an unplanned pregnancy to begin with. 

    Quoting momaof8:

    it has everything to do with adoption and banning it.  Also those TERRIBLE side effects from it.  Why is it okay here and outlawed in your thread?  A better home is a better home.

    Quoting Ms.KitKat:

     oh for the love of pete!

    The 'other" thread you speak of is not anything about a mother who abandons her baby but rather makes a parenting plan- many mothers who later believe they were coerced or forced to make this plan. These are women who wanted to parent but had no emotional or financial support to do so and only an "industry" promoting adoption.

    THIS s/o, OP as I have told you 2x over is a whole 'nother story. But so glad to see you started your own thread. But please- it has nothing to do with voluntary reliquishment. 

  • Ms.KitKat
    February 7, 2013 at 9:46 AM

     It seems like you are trying to be difficult,but I will give you the benefit of the doubt.

    Firstly, the title was a grabber. When I started the thread, there was no activity. I added the *edit* with a stronger grab title and posters took more notice. It was intended to promote discussion of a topic that rarely gets seen or discussed. Of course domestic infant adoptions will never be banned.

    Secondly, I see parnets who are truly unfit- as in abandoning their baby, abuse, neglect, etc... as in the scene you set is very different than the mother who wants her baby but is unable to keep and parent her baby; because she lacks social support and financial resources- for all intents and purposes- would be an excellent mother save for the fact that her own parents have disowned her because she got knocked up and is a blight to her family and her boyfriend drops her and she is told over and over again if she really loved her baby, she would place her baby with these rich adoptive parents and give her baby everything she can not. 

    Quoting momaof8:

     

    it has everything to do with adoption and banning it.  Also those TERRIBLE side effects from it.  Why is it okay here and outlawed in your thread?  A better home is a better home.

    Quoting Ms.KitKat:

     oh for the love of pete!

    The 'other" thread you speak of is not anything about a mother who abandons her baby but rather makes a parenting plan- many mothers who later believe they were coerced or forced to make this plan. These are women who wanted to parent but had no emotional or financial support to do so and only an "industry" promoting adoption.

    THIS s/o, OP as I have told you 2x over is a whole 'nother story. But so glad to see you started your own thread. But please- it has nothing to do with voluntary reliquishment. 

     

     

     

  • Lurion
    by Lurion
    February 7, 2013 at 9:47 AM

    I don't think anyone is advocating for no infant adoptions even in extreme cases, are they? Or did I miss something? Do you really believe that?

    It should be the last resort, not the first. I believe what most of us who may come off as anti-adoption protest to, is the tactic of adoption agencies identifying women as early in the pregnancy as possible. Followed by mounting an elaborate mind game of convincing them that adoption is the best option. Or indebting them financially so by the end of the pregnancy, they are too beat down to fight for their babies. They inundate them with scare tactics, insults and present just one side of the story (the one they make money off).

    Just go to any adoption website. You'll see they lay out an elaborate case for giving the baby up. There are scary numbers about how much it costs to raise a child (funny, nothing about the many options available for support), pleas about how how a baby needs two parents (even though the U.S. Census shows that only 13% of adopted children are currently being raised in a 2-parent home--divorce happens) and tells them it will destroy their and their child's future if they don't give their child up (complete BS). 

    I don't know if there are any statistics, but the scenario of a young, unsure, manipulated mother, I believe, is far more common than the violent drug addict one. 

  • MeAndTommyLee
    February 7, 2013 at 9:50 AM

    This is a completely different scenario than giving your infant up for  adoption.  These infants were physically taken from this bio-mother.  I'm sure they gave her a plan to work towards getting her children back, but for reasons of her own she was unable to comply or simply did not care. 

     

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