As we age and succumb to illness people deteriorate. I had done elder care and seen people get really mean . My own grandmother never hurt a fly and got pretty mean as she slipped away.
Do you hold people who are altered responsible for their behavior even if its your spouse?
My husband came home from his latest deployment with a brain injury, he is not a bad man, but is is not the quiet listener type he was before. He has little to not attention span and is very irritable. He used to be sweet, now he's kind of a jackass. He's working on it in therapy, he knows he's not the same and it bothers him.
Do I give him more leeway before I get snotty back? Much more than at first. I'm learning too.