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So let me share a little bit
January 30, 2013 at 11:58 PM

Many know that for a long time we had a whole houseful here.  It was Bill , b, my oldest dd, her 2 kids, her boyfriend , a long term family friend and me.

J, the friend, moved out last yr and is doing well and we survived financially. 

The time has come for my dd to go.  I know she will be ok financially as she just got a raise and its likely she will be running the store she works in before long.  Her boss is having fertility treatments and wants to stop working and have a baby so DD will be doing fine financially.  I am very happy for her. 

It has been hard all living together.  It will be much easier and quieter around here, I am wise enough to know that but boy am I going to miss those kids. She is going to stay in the area and I think I will still be watching them a bit but they have been here always so its going to be a mixed bag for me lol

Financially its gonna be pretty damn tough.  Dont come in here telling me to get a job lol I have a very small window of what I can earn without affecting hubbys hc.

So hubby who has wanted the house to himself is now not dealing well with the reality of that.

He is not behaving well.  For those who may not know he is sick.  He has a lot of masses in his lungs that are inoperable but slow growing.  As of the last scan the growth has subsided for now.  He had a lot of bleeding in his lungs last fall but that is better too.

If he keeps on the path he is on he will become abusive and I will have to leave or make him leave,  How do you leave a dying man? That is my confusion.

I am sure there will be those who say I shouldnt have shared any of this here.

I am sorry.  I spend time with you ladies here and to an extent some of you deserve to know whats up with me,


  • jllcali
    by jllcali
    January 31, 2013 at 12:05 AM
    I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish I had some words.of wisdom for you.

  • Peanutx3
    January 31, 2013 at 12:06 AM

    Oh hugs Survivor. 

  • Mommy_of_Riley
    January 31, 2013 at 12:10 AM
    I am not sure what advice I have to offer... I am so sorry you have to deal with any of this but you have alway seemed like a strong woman to me. Sick or not, abuse in a relationship is never okay. :-/
  • NutHouseMomma
    January 31, 2013 at 12:20 AM
    It sounds like you have quite a bit going on. I wish you and your family all the best...and strength to get through this transition with your family and husband's health.
  • Naturewoman4
    January 31, 2013 at 12:21 AM

    Thank-you for sharing Survivorinohio.  I know how scary it is sometimes, to post something personal on here.  After all the debating, bashing & name calling that goes on here.  But, in the end, we are ALL human beings.  We have our own struggles in life, which none of us really knows.  I think sometimes posters on here should think about that.  That some of us may be going through such a hard time, that we all don't know about. 

    I'm so sorry that you are going through all this!  Wow!  Sounds like you do have kids that live nearby.  They can be a support for you.  Also, isn't there support groups that will help you get through this?  I can just image how hard it must be for you.  I don't think you have to leave your husband though.  I mean, he is going through a lot right now.  Perhaps, you two can just sit down & talk.  Tell him how you feel.  I certainly wouldn't say for you to get a job.  You have enough to handle as it is.  girl giving flower

  • survivorinohio
    January 31, 2013 at 12:22 AM

    Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

    I am not sure what advice I have to offer... I am so sorry you have to deal with any of this but you have alway seemed like a strong woman to me. Sick or not, abuse in a relationship is never okay. :-/

    I know. 

    Having the house empty and quiet will be a good thing.  I have been watching 5 kids for 4 yrs now on a very regular basis.  When dd moves her bf is going to do some of the sitting for her 2.  He is a vendor and only works on Sun so he is available.  I have mixed feelings about that lol.

    My youngest I am happy to say is doing well and I dont have her boy unless I want him as of late so thats good.

    Ds mom is not working many hours and he has been staying with her dad quite a bit so when they move it really will get quiet with only B  I think that may really help diffuse his stress.  He really doesnt cope well with the mess and noise of so many kids.

    Bill is not being abusive yet,  He is on the brink though I am afraid .  After 26 yrs I know him and the look in his eye and what it means. 

    He has been telling me to get a job.  He is worried about not having dd help on bills but the bills will drop quite a bit and he is not thinking it through.  I really dont know how employable I will ever be anyhow lol.

    I yi yi.

    I am likely to ramble a bit, forgive me.  I am alone and my go to people are in bed , I am not waking them up so yall may be stuck with me a while tonight

  • survivorinohio
    January 31, 2013 at 12:30 AM

    Him telling me to get a job tonight has me upset.  I am really upset about the kids leaving, big time,.

    I keep telling myself all the toys that will leave and the mess that will just be gone and that all really does make me smile but lil dude and I chill on the couch for a while together every day and I am really going to miss his sister and him

  • survivorinohio
    January 31, 2013 at 12:43 AM

    I also think it prudent to say that I do have PTSD symptoms especially in that I imagine the worst in these kinds of things.  I know how bad lt can be and always worry it will be. 

    He has not hurt me, he would be in jail if he did lol dont read more into it I really am speaking  on that issue out of fear that this man isnt even responsible for.

    Just for the record.

  • survivorinohio
    January 31, 2013 at 12:53 AM


    I wonder if oxygen deprivation is an issue.  When he is agitated I mean.  Hmm something else to think on.  seriously because if oxygen deprivation is the issue I have to keep that in perspective.

  • wickedfiress
    January 31, 2013 at 3:34 AM
    If you can, see about a live in facility for him. :( the wait lists are very long, and if he's going downhill slowly, now is the time to start looking, before you NEED the help.

    I am so sorry that you have to watch this slow progression, its hard. I am also sorry that I don't know how to make that sound less cold. :(

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