jllcali
Divorced
by jllcali
January 29, 2013 at 11:58 PM
I am curious as to why people get divorced. I'm including a poll so that women can answer without going into details. If you would like to comment, feel free to do so. Please do not bash or pass judgement upon those who reply or divorced people in general.
Thank you in advance to those who participate.
The major cause of my divorce was......
  • Only group members can vote in this poll.
  1. 5% - He cheated on me
  2. 0% - I cheated on him
  3. 0% - He said he didn't love me any more
  4. 0% - I fell out of love with him
  5. 2% - He did not fulfill my needs/expectations
  6. 4% - I did not fulfill his needs/expectations
  7. 4% - We argued too much
  8. 0% - One of us has a mental illness the other couldn't deal with
  9. 0% - One of us wanted kids and the other refused
  10. 0% - He just left, didn't give a reason
  11. 4% - Drug/alcohol abuse
  12. 0% - Illegal activities
  13. 2% - We just grew apart
  14. 4% - Physical abuse
  15. 5% - Other (please explain in comments)
  16. 52% - Not divorced, just want to see the poll.
  17. 8% - Any combination of the above (please explain in comments)
  18. 4% - Emotional/mental abuse

Replies

  • Whaaaaaa....O.o
    January 30, 2013 at 12:06 AM
    You left out emotional and mental abuse.

    I found out my ex was watching under age porn. (He burned the computer so I don't have proof to throw him in jail. I was in such shock it didn't even occur to me to call the police or take the CPU with me. Hind sight I would do things very differently).

    Also he was very abusive towards me emotionally. About 2 or 3 weeks after I left my mom made the comment that she finally had her daughter back. She said for the previous 10 years I was very withdrawn and scared all the time. I cried all the time too. He constantly berated me. Told me I was fat and ugly. That I was a terrible wife and a horrible mother. That if I didn't change he would leave me and take my girls. Normally all I had to do to cause him to go off is disagree with him. Or show him an emotion other than pure bliss. I never cried in front of him. But when he wash around I cried all the time. There is so much more, but I hate reliving it. I still have nightmares. Luckily my DH (I remarried) understands. He has PTSD from Iraq and Afghanistan. I was diagnosed after I left ex with it. (Go figure). He knows how to calm me down from a nightmare. And vice versa.
  • survivorinohio
    January 30, 2013 at 12:13 AM

    Mental illness, drug addiction and physical abuse.

  • mama3814
    January 30, 2013 at 12:18 AM

     I chose the "we argued too much" option. One of the biggest arguments was that he wanted to move his mother into our home. She actually did come stay for a while. She had been diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic and hated to take her meds.

  • Whaaaaaa....O.o
    January 30, 2013 at 12:23 AM
    Quoting mama3814:

     I chose the "we argued too much" option. One of the biggest arguments was that he wanted to move his mother into our home. She actually did come stay for a while. She had been diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic and hated to take her meds.





    Not good.
  • jllcali
    by jllcali
    January 30, 2013 at 12:26 AM
    I meant to, I realized I forgot it too late. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you have found your now DH.

    Quoting Whaaaaaa....O.o:

    You left out emotional and mental abuse.



    I found out my ex was watching under age porn. (He burned the computer so I don't have proof to throw him in jail. I was in such shock it didn't even occur to me to call the police or take the CPU with me. Hind sight I would do things very differently).



    Also he was very abusive towards me emotionally. About 2 or 3 weeks after I left my mom made the comment that she finally had her daughter back. She said for the previous 10 years I was very withdrawn and scared all the time. I cried all the time too. He constantly berated me. Told me I was fat and ugly. That I was a terrible wife and a horrible mother. That if I didn't change he would leave me and take my girls. Normally all I had to do to cause him to go off is disagree with him. Or show him an emotion other than pure bliss. I never cried in front of him. But when he wash around I cried all the time. There is so much more, but I hate reliving it. I still have nightmares. Luckily my DH (I remarried) understands. He has PTSD from Iraq and Afghanistan. I was diagnosed after I left ex with it. (Go figure). He knows how to calm me down from a nightmare. And vice versa.
  • mama3814
    January 30, 2013 at 12:39 AM

     Not good at all. It didn't help that I refused to leave our infant son at home alone with her. He said it wasn't fair that my mom got to keep him and his didn't.

    Quoting Whaaaaaa....O.o:

    Quoting mama3814:

     I chose the "we argued too much" option. One of the biggest arguments was that he wanted to move his mother into our home. She actually did come stay for a while. She had been diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic and hated to take her meds.





    Not good.

     

  • karisma22
    January 30, 2013 at 12:45 AM

    My first husband was a pathological liar.  He couldn't tell the truth to save his life.

  • jllcali
    by jllcali
    January 30, 2013 at 12:50 AM
    I somehow made a duplicate post, so I erased the other. It only had 2 replies. I apologize.
  • bi-polarmommy
    January 30, 2013 at 1:04 AM

     no shit his mom didn't get the baby, you dont leave an infant alone with a mentally unstable person, and paranoid schizophrenic is worse than bi-polar, and there were days when dh wouldn't leave the kids alone with ME when i was off my meds

    Quoting mama3814:

     Not good at all. It didn't help that I refused to leave our infant son at home alone with her. He said it wasn't fair that my mom got to keep him and his didn't.

    Quoting Whaaaaaa....O.o:

    Quoting mama3814:

     I chose the "we argued too much" option. One of the biggest arguments was that he wanted to move his mother into our home. She actually did come stay for a while. She had been diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic and hated to take her meds.





    Not good.

     

     

  • Whaaaaaa....O.o
    January 30, 2013 at 1:08 AM
    Quoting mama3814:




    Wow. He must be as crazy as she was!!!