Water is a gift of God, without which we couldn’t survive. But floods and tidal waves are water out of control, and the effects are devastating. Fire is an energy-producing gift of God that gives warmth and allows us to cook. But a forest fire or a house burning to the ground or a person engulfed in flames is fire out of control-it is horrible and frightening. Water and fire are good things which, when they occur outside their God-intended boundaries, become bad.
Likewise, God designed sex to exist within certain boundaries. When exercised in line with God’s intended purpose, it is beautiful and constructive. When out of control, violating God’s intended purpose, it becomes ugly and destructive. Sex is a good thing which, when it occurs outside its God-designed boundaries, becomes bad.
The problem isn’t sex—the problem is us. We’re sinners who can pervert, abuse, and rip away from their proper place the good things God created. The greater the gift from God, the more power it has both for good and bad. Inside marriage, sex has great power for good. Outside marriage it has equally great power for bad.
Chastity = Moral Cleanliness:
Anything that leads to lustful thoughts, words, or actions are in violation of God's command to be morally clean.
Sexual purity means to not have any sexual relations before being legally married including any thoughts, words, or actions that generate desire and arousal. Keeping the law of chastity means not participating in the following:
- Kissing passionately
- Necking: kissing on the neck
- Petting: touching private body parts of another person (with or without clothing)
- Lying on top of another person
- Arousing sexual emotions (in your own body or that of another person)
- Viewing pornography
- Reading/watching/listening to anything that arouses sexual feelings
- Fantasizing or dwelling on sexually arousing thoughts
Sexual Sins are Extremely Serious:
Repentance = Sexual Purity:
If you are struggling with a sexual addiction there is hope and help in overcoming addiction and other destructive habits.
Victims are Innocent:
Sex and marriage go together. Sexual union is intended as an expression of a lifelong commitment, a symbol of the spiritual union that exists only within the unconditional commitment of marriage. Apart from marriage, the lasting commitment is absent and the sex act becomes a false expression, a lie.
Every act of sex outside of marriage cheapens both sex and marriage. Sex is a privilege inseparable from the responsibilities of the sacred marriage covenant. To exercise the privilege apart from the responsibility perverts God’s intention for sex.
Sex is designed to be the joining of two persons, of two spirits, not just two bodies. Sex should be giving to someone to whom I’m 100% committed (as measured by the state of legal marriage), not taking from someone to whom I’m uncommitted or partially committed.
“But we really love each other” has no bearing on the ethics of sexual intimacy—sex does not become permissible through subjective feelings, but through the objective lifelong commitment of marriage.
Sexual purity is not an option for an obedient Christian, it’s a requirement. God’s will is centered on our character and moral purity much more than on our circumstances, such as job, housing and schooling. You want to know God’s will? You don’t have to wonder. Here it is: “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3). There is no sense seeking God’s will in other areas when you are choosing to live in sexual impurity in your mind or body.
”Who may ascend the hill of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart.” (Psalm 24:3-4) a and 24:3-4)
”If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.” (Psalm 66:18)
”If anyone turns a deaf ear to the law, even his prayers are detestable.” (Proverbs 28:9)
”‘When I called, they did not listen; so when they called, I would not listen,’ says the LORD Almighty.” (Zechariah 7:13)
Sexual purity is inseparable from a committed Christian life. If you are not living in sexual purity, God will not hear your other prayers until you offer the prayer of confession and repentance and commit yourself to a life of holiness (1 John 1:9).
”As a man thinks in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7).
”For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality . . .” (Matthew 15:19-20).
”But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).
You will inevitably adopt the morality of the programs, movies, books, magazines, music, Internet sites and conversations you participate in. GIGO—Garbage in, garbage out; Godliness in, godliness out. The cognitive is basic to the behavioral—you become what you choose to feed your mind on.
Sow a thought, reap an action;
Sow an action, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny.
Your future can be accurately predicted by what you allow your mind to dwell on. Sinful actions don’t come out of nowhere—they are the cumulative product of little moral compromises made over time, which ultimately culminate in ungodly behavior.
There’s nothing new about sexual temptation—what’s new is how it has invaded our homes. In first century Corinth there were prostitutes all over the streets, but when you entered your home you had a sanctuary from the temptation. We live in a technological Corinth, where immorality can come into the privacy of our home through airwaves (television) and modems (the Internet). Most of us are only a few pushbuttons away from sexual immorality of the mind. Every choice we make to view and contemplate immorality desensitizes us to its evil.
Actions, habits, character and destiny all start with a thought, and thoughts are fostered by what we choose to take into our minds. Therefore we should take extreme care about what we feed our minds on.
”Above all else, guard your heart [mind, inner being], for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23).
If someone wants to pollute water, he pollutes it at its source. If he wants to purify water, he purifies it at its source. Our thoughts are the source of our lives. All our lives flow from our mind, and through the choices we make every day we program our minds, either for godliness or ungodliness.
”Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word” (Psalm 119:37)
Our minds are not a vacuum—they will be filled with something. It is necessary to turn our minds from the worthless, but it’s not sufficient. We also must fill our minds with good thoughts that crowd out and combat the bad ones. It’s not enough to say “don’t think about anything bad.” (If I say, “don’t think about spiders,” what do you think about?) We must also choose to think about the good. (If I say “think about your favorite dessert,” pretty soon you stop thinking about spiders.) Time in the Word, in prayer, and in conversations with Christ-centered friends reinforces our commitment to purity.
”Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure . . . think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).
We can’t avoid every temptation, but we can avoid many of them, and we can certainly resist their attempts to take hold of us. Martin Luther said, “You can’t keep the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from making a nest in your hair.”
Be careful what you expose your mind to. If you’re on a diet, don’t go to Baskin & Robin’s. If you do, your resistance will break down. If you want to abstain from lust you don’t go places and watch movies and programs and read things that stimulate lust.
Your body will go where your mind allows it to. When it comes to your sexual purity, the ultimate battle is in your mind. Don’t give your mind junk food. Be sure you’re getting spiritual nutrition.
The first paragraph includes some thought processes that are downright alien to me. Fire and water can be controlled but neither are controlled.in their natural state. Their God given state is out of control and we intervene and bend nature to our will but neither fire or water are our loyal servants and it would be foolish to think they at anything but immense forces of nature that we have occasional say over.
Now I'll try to read the rest
What exactly make sexual sin so much worse than other sins in the eyes of a Christian? It has always confused me that in the church it is better to manipulate, steal, bully, lie, just about anything- but having sex with someone you care about is really bad. It just doesn't compute.
by Peanutx3January 28, 2013 at 11:35 AM
Thank you! :)
Eh I like sex. I had sex with one man for the 20 years. He is now gone and I have to admit to having fun in the last 6 months and I feel no guilt or shame. :)