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My son's pre-shcool teacher lost her mother a few days ago. She is more than just a pre-school teacher, she also sometimes babysits for us. My sons really love her and we are almost friends but not close friends by any means. I did not know her Mom at all. They are holding a visitation on Monday and a service and funeral on Tuesday. Should I go to any of them? What is the norm? I was thinking to just go to the visitation with the older DS for a short while, but I really don't know what i should do. Any one knows about funeral etiquette?
Replies
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It is whatever you are comfortable with.
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I'd go to the visitation to pay respects on Monday. I wouldn't take older DS unless he's old enough to understand exactly why he is there.
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Older DS has been to two funerals befor. He kind of understands. As much as a 6 1/12 old can possibly understand. I can't leave him because he gets out of school and there is no one to watch him. DH is going to be out of town. So what should I do, if the choice is between taking him or not going at all?
Quoting leavinglasvegas:
I'd go to the visitation to pay respects on Monday. I wouldn't take older DS unless he's old enough to understand exactly why he is there.
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Go. Show your respects and be brief.
Quoting nb34:
Older DS has been to two funerals befor. He kind of understands. As much as a 6 1/12 old can possibly understand. I can't leave him because he gets out of school and there is no one to watch him. DH is going to be out of town. So what should I do, if the choice is between taking him or not going at all?
Quoting leavinglasvegas:
I'd go to the visitation to pay respects on Monday. I wouldn't take older DS unless he's old enough to understand exactly why he is there.
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If he's been to funerals before and seemed ok with it, then take him if you think he'll be fine. Not sure if this is more of a wake where the body is in full view - and if he hasn't had that experience, it might freak him out. I've been to hundreds of wakes and it's still odd to me. I understand the history of the practice....still weird to be doing it now, but whatever makes people feel better.
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I think the visitation would be more appropriate than the funeral and maybe send a nice plant or flowers -
Oh, I am not sure. Are people 'invited' to funerals these days?
The thought that you want to go for her is indeed kind and loving.
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If you can go by yourself then for sure go - it's a huge comfort to the family to SEE their support. If you can only go with your DS, then maybe go and be brief and/or send flowers etc.
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I would go to the visitation to pay my respects. -
Go. Sign the register. Greet her and give her your condolences. If you know nobody else there, don't stay around because she might feel obligated to visit with you so you're not alone.
She will appreciate that you care enough about her to be there to pay your respects.