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nb34
Funeral question?
by nb34
January 13, 2013 at 4:09 PM

My son's pre-shcool teacher lost her mother a few days ago. She is more than just a pre-school teacher, she also sometimes babysits for us. My sons really love her and we are almost friends but not close friends by any means. I did not know her Mom at all. They are holding a visitation on Monday and a service and funeral on Tuesday. Should I go to any of them? What is the norm? I was thinking to just go to the visitation with the older DS for a short while, but I really don't know what i should do. Any one knows about funeral etiquette?

Replies

  • turtle68
    January 13, 2013 at 6:46 PM

     

    Quoting ILive4This:

    Since we're on the subject, I was wondering if anybody else has experienced this.  My son lost his best friend a couple weeks ago (24 yo :-( ).   They had the wake and funeral all in one day.  Wake from 10-2, funeral at 3, and then had all his friends to a dinner that evening.  I wondered if this was a new trend, b/c someone else I mentioned it to had been to something similar, recently.

     I dont know about the wake and funeral in one day but food after is always offered to the guests at the funeral.

    our wakes go for three to five days with the body.

  • Debmomto2girls
    January 13, 2013 at 6:48 PM
    It's better to be safe than sorry.. I would go to the visitation and make a brief appearance.
  • Debmomto2girls
    January 13, 2013 at 6:49 PM
    That is what we did for my Dad and my grandmother. Everything the same day.

    Quoting ILive4This:

    Since we're on the subject, I was wondering if anybody else has experienced this.  My son lost his best friend a couple weeks ago (24 yo :-( ).   They had the wake and funeral all in one day.  Wake from 10-2, funeral at 3, and then had all his friends to a dinner that evening.  I wondered if this was a new trend, b/c someone else I mentioned it to had been to something similar, recently.

  • turtle68
    January 13, 2013 at 6:50 PM

     I dont know if I would go at all, I didnt know the mother, if I did go I would pay my respects at the visitation....I would not take my kids simply because they did not know her.  But I would get them some flowers for their teacher and let them take them to her at school.

    If my kids knew the person who has passed then they would attend both.

  • littlelamb303
    January 13, 2013 at 6:53 PM

    yes, it is the right think to do, especially if she is more than just  a teacher.  She will remember you did this. When my mom died,I appreciated all those who showed up, you do remember it.

  • emeraldangel2.0
    January 13, 2013 at 7:04 PM


    Quoting Peanutx3:

    It is whatever you are comfortable with.


  • grannywilson
    January 13, 2013 at 7:05 PM

    I would talk to the kids about her loss.  Buy a nice card and let it go at that.  A preschool child doesn't need to go view a body or go to a funeral where there is a lot of grief.  You didn't know the  woman.  Why would you need to go to a visitation?

  • nb34
    by nb34
    January 13, 2013 at 7:42 PM

    See this is why I posted this. Because frankly I don't know what the norm is. I am from a different culture. In my culture the funeral is more private, but there is always a service afterwards for family, friends, acquaintances and every one else who knows one of the departed person's family members, even if they didn't know the deceased personally. This is the first time that I am faced with a situation like this here in the US. So I thought I would ask to see what the norm is.

    Quoting grannywilson:

    I would talk to the kids about her loss.  Buy a nice card and let it go at that.  A preschool child doesn't need to go view a body or go to a funeral where there is a lot of grief.  You didn't know the  woman.  Why would you need to go to a visitation?


  • tweety101149
    January 13, 2013 at 7:42 PM

    If it were me, I would just go to the visitation, only.  Your sons like her you said, and she sits for you on occassion.. It is not like she is a stranger.  I am sure she would appreciate your thoughtfulness.

  • leavinglasvegas
    January 13, 2013 at 7:50 PM

    It isn't typical, but increasingly common in cases where the death was unexpected and perhaps someone young. It brings less stress to the family than having to sit through days of visitors.

    Quoting ILive4This:

    Since we're on the subject, I was wondering if anybody else has experienced this.  My son lost his best friend a couple weeks ago (24 yo :-( ).   They had the wake and funeral all in one day.  Wake from 10-2, funeral at 3, and then had all his friends to a dinner that evening.  I wondered if this was a new trend, b/c someone else I mentioned it to had been to something similar, recently.


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