My son's pre-shcool teacher lost her mother a few days ago. She is more than just a pre-school teacher, she also sometimes babysits for us. My sons really love her and we are almost friends but not close friends by any means. I did not know her Mom at all. They are holding a visitation on Monday and a service and funeral on Tuesday. Should I go to any of them? What is the norm? I was thinking to just go to the visitation with the older DS for a short while, but I really don't know what i should do. Any one knows about funeral etiquette?
Well you make a good point. He has not been to a wake before. He can sit there calmly and respectfully, but I am not sure how he would react if there is an open casket. I am not sure if I want to expose him to that quite yet. The othere funerals were different in nature, and he didn't see the bodies.
If he's been to funerals before and seemed ok with it, then take him if you think he'll be fine. Not sure if this is more of a wake where the body is in full view - and if he hasn't had that experience, it might freak him out. I've been to hundreds of wakes and it's still odd to me. I understand the history of the practice....still weird to be doing it now, but whatever makes people feel better.
I think just going to the visitation would be fine. Or if for some reason you can't go, I think it would even be acceptable to just send some flowers or something like that. I would not go to the funeral though if you did not even know her.
Since we're on the subject, I was wondering if anybody else has experienced this. My son lost his best friend a couple weeks ago (24 yo :-( ). They had the wake and funeral all in one day. Wake from 10-2, funeral at 3, and then had all his friends to a dinner that evening. I wondered if this was a new trend, b/c someone else I mentioned it to had been to something similar, recently.