katy_kay08
WWYD...Playdates and guns
January 7, 2013 at 3:28 PM

This is purely hypothetical and is being posted for the sake of discussion and curiosity.  

I've often seen posts asking if parent's ask the parents of their children's friends if there are guns in the home before they let their children go over to the home.  

My question is to those that do own a gun, would you tell the parents of your children's friends if they were to ask you if you had guns in the home?  Would the question put you off and prevent you from having their child over to your home to play?   How far would you be willing to go to alleviate the concerns of the child's parents?  

Replies

  • lga1965
    by lga1965
    January 7, 2013 at 9:34 PM

     I am not saying guns should be banned---I am saying they should not be around little kids. They need to be locked up. 

     How is that paranoid?

    How is that passive aggessive? LOL. You are such a dimwit.

    Quoting Farmlady09:

    That protects families and friends. ... and criminals.

    Your idea of what constitutes irresponsible and disgusting don't seem to fit any of the definitions I've ever read ~ or yours are just a passive-aggessive way of calling people more names. I'm all for safety and responsibility, but not catering to paranoia.

    Quoting lga1965:

     Well....I don't recall addressing my reply directly to you. Only to people who say they won't go out of their way to keep their guns locked away. Guns can be dangerous for small kids. That's why it is up to adults to keep them away from kids. There have been some news items lately about little kids who were able to get their hands on guns and ended up killing their brothers and a few friends.Gun classes stress keeping your firearms locked up and ammo stored in a separate location. That protects families and friends.

     

    Quoting DSamuels:

    Really? I don't know a single responsible gun owner that wouldn't care if a visiting child found their gun(s). We don't keep our guns in a safe, but we also don't have them sitting out for children to find them.

    My husband didn't get a handgun until our kids were older. The rifles & shotguns were never kept loaded. We do keep a handgun in our room, on his side of the bed, loaded but without a bullet in the chamber. If a child "found" the gun in our room, I'd want to know WTH they were doing snooping in my room.

    We are neither irresponsible or disgusting. SMH


    Quoting lga1965:

    We never had guns. I wouldn't let my kids play at a friends house if they guns, particularly after finding out that too many gun owners don't care if a visiting child finds their guns that are not kept locked up. That is irresponsible and disgusting

    No way did we ever want to come in contact with weapons.

     

     

     

  • Farmlady09
    January 7, 2013 at 9:35 PM


     

    Quoting Healthystart30:

    Quoting Humanoid:

    Guns are not what kill. Its the idiots that get ahold of them.

     

    that being said, I am perfectly fine with my son going to to a friends and playing, even if theirs parents own guns.

    common sense people. please. Guns protect also.....




    So children are now idiots? No it's the irresponsible gun owners that keep guns where kids and others that shouldn't have one, have an easy access!

    I have never asked a parent if they have a gun in the house.

    30 years ago people didn't need warning labels about using a blow dryer in a bathtub full of water, not eating preparation H, etc. We have two generations of humans who are getting progressively more idiotic. Those warnings are there because someone actually was enough of an idiot to harm themself in such a ridiculous manner. Most children aren't 'allowed' to cook, let alone taught to (and half their parents can't cook if it doesn't go in a microwave) because it's 'dangerous'. Playgrounds are a maze of safety items instead of play things.

    The truth is that if people were responsible and not insistent on performing stupid human tricks (and didn't think life was an episode of Jacka$$) ~ AND still taught their children some personal accountability and basic morals most of the bad things that happen today wouldn't ever happen. Yes, I think a lot of people in general are idiots, at least where safety is concerned. I was raised to not be an idiot, and I raised my children the same way. They are now raising their children that way. It can be done, and without all the hysteria and warning labels (which my grandchildren think are ridiculous as well).

  • Whaaaaaa....O.o
    January 7, 2013 at 9:38 PM
    Ppfffftttt.... I KNOW my kids friends (whose parents are mine and dh's friends) have guns. They are also all trained in proper safety and gun use, considering all of them are LEO families and or military vets.
  • pampire
    by pampire
    January 7, 2013 at 9:40 PM

    If I was asked, I'd answer honestly.

  • Ziva65
    by Ziva65
    January 7, 2013 at 9:47 PM

    We have guns, but they aren't in our home.

    I was asked that question once, about 13 years ago, when a mom dropped her son off for a birthday party. While we had no guns, I was surprised and somewhat offended. Honestly, if they find it necessary to ask that- it just shows we really don't even know each other well enough and I don't really need the kid at my house for a playdate. If  the parent had any concerns, about anything at our home- I wouldn't bother to alleviate them- I don't want a kid in my house who's parent would question anything- same in reverse. It's not the guns that would concern me, it's the people. We have a lot of friends with guns, some in law enforcement, some hunters... even we have them- we just keep them at a different location which is where we go to shoot targets.

    It's not been a question I've asked before a playdate, but honestly I know the parents VERY well before I'd ever drop my kid off anyway  who is that young in which the question would even come to mind. I know up front what their family is like, what they do for a living, if they are married or not, living with a boyfriend, ages of all the children, who lives in the home... what their hobbies are, their cell numbers, everything. If I don't know the basics about the people, thier character, integrity, family structure, etc.... my kid wouldn't be there.

  • Farmlady09
    January 7, 2013 at 9:51 PM

    If they are locked up they are useless. No rapist or burglar is going to stand around twiddling their thumbs because a homeowners says 'hang on, I have to unlock my gun and go to the other room and unlock the bullets and load it'.

    The coyotes won't stop gnawing on my goat kids if I ask them to wait, no matter how politely I ask. I can't find any good reason to feed one of these ...

    to a coyote because my gun and ammo are locked up all safe somewhere in the house. She's a month old ~ why should HER life be at risk because you are paranoid and other people are irresponsible??

    Even thinking that way pretty much clears up who is the dimwit (keep in mind you're the one that brought that up). The plain truth is that the 'dimwits' are the ones who have ANYthing in their home that is dangerous and don't teach their children properly. It's their own fault. People today don't seem to be able to say 'It's my fault' and are willing to blame everyone and everything else but themselves. Stop promoting dimwit growth!

     

     

    Quoting lga1965:

     I am not saying guns should be banned---I am saying they should not be around little kids. They need to be locked up. 

     How is that paranoid?

    How is that passive aggessive? LOL. You are such a dimwit.

    Quoting Farmlady09:

    That protects families and friends. ... and criminals.

    Your idea of what constitutes irresponsible and disgusting don't seem to fit any of the definitions I've ever read ~ or yours are just a passive-aggessive way of calling people more names. I'm all for safety and responsibility, but not catering to paranoia.

    Quoting lga1965:

     Well....I don't recall addressing my reply directly to you. Only to people who say they won't go out of their way to keep their guns locked away. Guns can be dangerous for small kids. That's why it is up to adults to keep them away from kids. There have been some news items lately about little kids who were able to get their hands on guns and ended up killing their brothers and a few friends.Gun classes stress keeping your firearms locked up and ammo stored in a separate location. That protects families and friends.

     

    Quoting DSamuels:

    Really? I don't know a single responsible gun owner that wouldn't care if a visiting child found their gun(s). We don't keep our guns in a safe, but we also don't have them sitting out for children to find them.

    My husband didn't get a handgun until our kids were older. The rifles & shotguns were never kept loaded. We do keep a handgun in our room, on his side of the bed, loaded but without a bullet in the chamber. If a child "found" the gun in our room, I'd want to know WTH they were doing snooping in my room.

    We are neither irresponsible or disgusting. SMH


    Quoting lga1965:

    We never had guns. I wouldn't let my kids play at a friends house if they guns, particularly after finding out that too many gun owners don't care if a visiting child finds their guns that are not kept locked up. That is irresponsible and disgusting

    No way did we ever want to come in contact with weapons.

     

     

     


  • katy_kay08
    January 7, 2013 at 10:02 PM
    You wouldn't want a child over whose parents questioned "anything"?

    Quoting Ziva65:

    We have guns, but they aren't in our home.


    I was asked that question once, about 13 years ago, when a mom dropped her son off for a birthday party. While we had no guns, I was surprised and somewhat offended. Honestly, if they find it necessary to ask that- it just shows we really don't even know each other well enough and I don't really need the kid at my house for a playdate. If  the parent had any concerns, about anything at our home- I wouldn't bother to alleviate them- I don't want a kid in my house who's parent would question anything- same in reverse. It's not the guns that would concern me, it's the people. We have a lot of friends with guns, some in law enforcement, some hunters... even we have them- we just keep them at a different location which is where we go to shoot targets.


    It's not been a question I've asked before a playdate, but honestly I know the parents VERY well before I'd ever drop my kid off anyway  who is that young in which the question would even come to mind. I know up front what their family is like, what they do for a living, if they are married or not, living with a boyfriend, ages of all the children, who lives in the home... what their hobbies are, their cell numbers, everything. If I don't know the basics about the people, thier character, integrity, family structure, etc.... my kid wouldn't be there.

  • lga1965
    by lga1965
    January 7, 2013 at 10:04 PM

     Grrrrreat. You must be so proud that you love your goats and don't worry about little humans finding a gun and accidentally shooting a sibling. It happens all the time!

    Here is one example. A father was ready for the criminals with his guns not locked away...One examope,JUST one...there are more:

    http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_22269022/minneapolis-dad-charged-2-year-olds-shooting-death

    A young family's tragedy -- the accidental shooting death of a child by his older brother -- was borne of the father's own recklessness, prosecutors claimed as they charged the father with the death.

    The Hennepin County attorney charged the father, Kao Chongsua Xiong, in the case Thursday, Dec. 27, alleging he intentionally and carelessly left the loaded handgun and other firearms lying around home where his children could easily get their hands on them

    Quoting Farmlady09:

    If they are locked up they are useless. No rapist or burglar is going to stand around twiddling their thumbs because a homeowners says 'hang on, I have to unlock my gun and go to the other room and unlock the bullets and load it'.

    The coyotes won't stop gnawing on my goat kids if I ask them to wait, no matter how politely I ask. I can't find any good reason to feed one of these ...

    to a coyote because my gun and ammo are locked up all safe somewhere in the house. She's a month old ~ why should HER life be at risk because you are paranoid and other people are irresponsible??

    Even thinking that way pretty much clears up who is the dimwit (keep in mind you're the one that brought that up). The plain truth is that the 'dimwits' are the ones who have ANYthing in their home that is dangerous and don't teach their children properly. It's their own fault. People today don't seem to be able to say 'It's my fault' and are willing to blame everyone and everything else but themselves. Stop promoting dimwit growth!

     

     

    Quoting lga1965:

     I am not saying guns should be banned---I am saying they should not be around little kids. They need to be locked up. 

     How is that paranoid?

    How is that passive aggessive? LOL. You are such a dimwit.

    Quoting Farmlady09:

    That protects families and friends. ... and criminals.

    Your idea of what constitutes irresponsible and disgusting don't seem to fit any of the definitions I've ever read ~ or yours are just a passive-aggessive way of calling people more names. I'm all for safety and responsibility, but not catering to paranoia.

    Quoting lga1965:

     Well....I don't recall addressing my reply directly to you. Only to people who say they won't go out of their way to keep their guns locked away. Guns can be dangerous for small kids. That's why it is up to adults to keep them away from kids. There have been some news items lately about little kids who were able to get their hands on guns and ended up killing their brothers and a few friends.Gun classes stress keeping your firearms locked up and ammo stored in a separate location. That protects families and friends.

     

    Quoting DSamuels:

    Really? I don't know a single responsible gun owner that wouldn't care if a visiting child found their gun(s). We don't keep our guns in a safe, but we also don't have them sitting out for children to find them.

    My husband didn't get a handgun until our kids were older. The rifles & shotguns were never kept loaded. We do keep a handgun in our room, on his side of the bed, loaded but without a bullet in the chamber. If a child "found" the gun in our room, I'd want to know WTH they were doing snooping in my room.

    We are neither irresponsible or disgusting. SMH


    Quoting lga1965:

    We never had guns. I wouldn't let my kids play at a friends house if they guns, particularly after finding out that too many gun owners don't care if a visiting child finds their guns that are not kept locked up. That is irresponsible and disgusting

    No way did we ever want to come in contact with weapons.

     

     

     

     

     

  • Bieg9093
    January 7, 2013 at 10:10 PM

     

    Quoting Joqui:

    I don't own any guns and I don't usually let my son go over people's home (he is 6) and much less my dd (she is 4). I've allowed Elijah to go on 1 playdate outside of my supervision, aside from that most playdates are done at my home. I have never asked if parents have had a gun in their home. I probably should consider asking.... But how do you even go about doing that? Hey! Yea I'm Elijah's mom nice to meet you... oh... do you own guns?! are they locked up? Can I inspect that? LOL

    I'm serious I wouldn't even know where to begin.

     I've never felt any compulsion to ask, but if I wanted to, I'd probably lump it in with other stuff.  Such as "Since this is Johnny's first time here, are there any special safety rules he should know about?  Is there a pool, or guns, or a dog he should avoid?  Are there any rooms that are off limits?"

    That's how I'd do it.

  • Ziva65
    by Ziva65
    January 7, 2013 at 10:12 PM


    Quoting katy_kay08:

    You wouldn't want a child over whose parents questioned "anything"?

    Quoting Ziva65:

    We have guns, but they aren't in our home.


    I was asked that question once, about 13 years ago, when a mom dropped her son off for a birthday party. While we had no guns, I was surprised and somewhat offended. Honestly, if they find it necessary to ask that- it just shows we really don't even know each other well enough and I don't really need the kid at my house for a playdate. If  the parent had any concerns, about anything at our home- I wouldn't bother to alleviate them- I don't want a kid in my house who's parent would question anything- same in reverse. It's not the guns that would concern me, it's the people. We have a lot of friends with guns, some in law enforcement, some hunters... even we have them- we just keep them at a different location which is where we go to shoot targets.


    It's not been a question I've asked before a playdate, but honestly I know the parents VERY well before I'd ever drop my kid off anyway  who is that young in which the question would even come to mind. I know up front what their family is like, what they do for a living, if they are married or not, living with a boyfriend, ages of all the children, who lives in the home... what their hobbies are, their cell numbers, everything. If I don't know the basics about the people, thier character, integrity, family structure, etc.... my kid wouldn't be there.

    My kids are older now. however, when we had playdates, I expect trust- mutually. We wouldn't just make a "playdate" after meeting a kid at a baseball game or anything like that. I knew the families, personally. It wouldn't even occur to me to wait until I got to the playdate to ask questions about themn- we wouldn't even go so far as the front door if I didn't already know everything I wanted to know.

     I wouldn't drop my kid off anywhere if I didn't know the parents well, and trust them- nor would I want that kid in my home. That means we already know ALOT about each other. If they show up at my door with questions like that, it tells me we really don't know each other well enough yet. So yes, if they are showing up with a kid at my door with questions like that, we do not yet have a trust relationship. IF they wouldn't trust me with their kid in my home- they need to- and vice versa. I need to have a high regard for the person who is responsible for my child.

    I remember having my kids invited to various people's homes on playdates, there were times I'd say no. I knew enough about them that I didn't want my child in their home. A mom who used a bit too much vicodin, another who drank in the middle of the day, another who had no mom in the home just the dad (for my daughter going on a playdate) etc.

    We were really tight, and really strict. It totally paid off. But- my point is that if I have to ASK... I should already know that far in advance of a playdate. And, vice-versa. Or, I need to stay there with my child while I get to know the parent(s).