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"Because I Say So!" is enough of a reason to tell your children without any other explanation needed
by NWP
December 9, 2012 at 8:52 PM

Agree or Disagree?

Discuss....

"Because I say so" is enough tell your children without any other explanation needed
  • Only group members can vote in this poll.
  1. 32% - Agree
  2. 23% - Disagree
  3. 44% - Depends

Replies

  • DarlaHood
    December 9, 2012 at 9:09 PM

    To say to your children:  "Just do what I said because I said so" does not earn a parent true respect.  And it teaches your children nothing about critical thinking or how to at some point make good decisions when a parent or adult is not there.

    It's called Authoritarian parenting, and it is ineffective.

    The better way is to be truly basing your decisions on sound logic and explaining that to your children so that they can learn from it.  They learn how to think things through critically and make good decisions for themselves.  They learn to respect your opinion because they come to understand that what you really want is their safety, health, and happiness - and that's why you want them to respect your rules and guidance.  If you just say no and are not willing to explain, then they assume you have no respect or concern for them, and that you don't really have good reasons. 

    Authoritative parenting is retaining leadership and commanding (not demanding) respect by your caring parenting.  It is teaching your children why and how you make the decisions you do. 

  • yourspecialkid
    December 9, 2012 at 9:10 PM

    Because I say so. 

    It isn't my job to be my child's friend.

    Giving an explanation often opens the door for arguement.

    Little kids won't understand drawn out explanations anyway.

    I was raised this way and so was my husband.  Interestingly enough...the raising created 2 adults that question/research almost everything that crosses their paths.

  • Woodbabe
    December 9, 2012 at 9:10 PM

    If you have the time or the mood to explain, that's one thing. As the parent you ARE the ultimate authority and if you find yourself in a situation where this is needed, it should be expected to be obeyed. I always tried to explain later if/when I could.

    There are just some things parents get to say, to include things like "Its none of your business" and "Because I said so!".

  • Bieg9093
    December 9, 2012 at 9:10 PM

     If it's in response to a fair and honest "why" then it's pretty lazy.  If the child already knows full well "why" and/or is only looking to delay following a direction or engage in argument, then it's pretty useful.

  • NWP
    by NWP
    December 9, 2012 at 9:13 PM

    This...and when it is an immediate need and there is not time to give a big explanation.

    Quoting ILive4This:

    Ive only gone there, when the previous 16 explanations were not sufficient (to said child), lol. 


  • krysstizzle
    December 9, 2012 at 9:14 PM

    It depends on the situation, really. My youngest is especially inquisitive and has a very particular outlook on life; I find he is more secure and comfortable when things are explained to him. 

    If it's not a pressing issue, I'll explain things. In fact, I'm probably an over-explainer lol I'll start going into cultural norms and the roles they play in society sometimes (for example), and they boys will just give me this look. It's hilarious. But I'm running on the assumption that they're actually asorbing all this information :)

    Of course, I have said "because I said so!" more than once. Totally valid, imo.

  • krysstizzle
    December 9, 2012 at 9:15 PM

    Good point. I agree with this. 

    Quoting Bieg9093:

     If it's in response to a fair and honest "why" then it's pretty lazy.  If the child already knows full well "why" and/or is only looking to delay following a direction or engage in argument, then it's pretty useful.


  • NWP
    by NWP
    December 9, 2012 at 9:16 PM

    This is when I use it too.

    I guess my answer is depends....

    Quoting Bieg9093:

     If it's in response to a fair and honest "why" then it's pretty lazy.  If the child already knows full well "why" and/or is only looking to delay following a direction or engage in argument, then it's pretty useful.


  • jlo1313
    by jlo1313
    December 9, 2012 at 9:17 PM

    In a child under the age of 5, it is a perfectly reasonable explanation that will depend on my mood or the appropriateness of the situation on whether I will explain it or not.  Over the age of 5, I will expect "because I said so" to be a perfectly good reason to do something, though I will generally explain why unless there is an impeding emergency.  

    I go to work and am told to do things because my boss says so.  I don't always like that answer, sometimes I find out why later, sometimes I don't.  Unless it is completely unethical or criminal, I will do it because I am told to do it.  Kids need to learn this in their future, not every situation is going to warrant an explanation to them as adults either.

  • jessilin0113
    December 9, 2012 at 9:18 PM
    I don't think answering a question, especially an honest one, is "being a friend". I think if my kids are old enough to ask, and I do encourage questions in all things, they are old enough to be told. "Because I said so" has never been sufficient for me and I wouldn't expect it to be for them. I do agree that parents are the final authority, which is why I give them one explanation, then they have to fall in line. I'm not above letting them plead their case when their older, either.


    Quoting yourspecialkid:

    Because I say so. 


    It isn't my job to be my child's friend.


    Giving an explanation often opens the door for arguement.


    Little kids won't understand drawn out explanations anyway.


    I was raised this way and so was my husband.  Interestingly enough...the raising created 2 adults that question/research almost everything that crosses their paths.


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