futureshock
“Why Is It O.K. To Have a Child with Someone You Know Won’t Stick Around?”
December 8, 2012 at 9:46 PM

This question comes from a blogger whom I greatly admire and respect.  However, her audience is black women so I will not post her entire article here, since I am not trying to ask this question of any one race.

For anyone interested, the article can be read here:

http://familyscholars.org/2012/06/22/why-is-it-o-k-to-have-a-child-with-someone-you-know-wont-stick-around/comment-page-1/#comment-130508


Replies

  • im23vaughn
    December 10, 2012 at 8:09 PM
    I amazed that the issue of child support enforcement is rarely brought up. People want to chastise single moms, but rarely do we expect the father to step up. Maybe these kids wouldn't grow up in poverty which is one of the main reasons these kids do worse in life if states wouldn't refuse to pursue deadbeat dads in other states. States like FL won't even garnish the fathers wages if the CS is for another state.







    Until society stops giving men a free pass things will not change. It takes TWO people to create a baby. Stop trying to hold only 1 person responsible for the child's future & well-being.





    Why don't we ask why do men have unprotected sex with women they know they won't marry? Why do men lie to women & pretend be.committed just to get sex?





    Most single moms aren't having one night stands & getting pregnant. Most are in committed relationships with their dude & the relationship ends & the man bails.





    Why are parents raising their sons to not respect women & take care of their children?
  • nelliesmommy
    December 10, 2012 at 8:33 PM

    That is a women's personal business whom she has a baby with.

  • lalasha
    by lalasha
    December 10, 2012 at 9:17 PM
    It's really NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUISNESS. Get over it. People have sex and children with people they don't want to be with forever.
  • Teacher101
    December 10, 2012 at 9:22 PM


    Quoting stacymomof2:

    Honestly I think you are too obsessed with this issue.  There is no one answer, no ultimate thing that can be said that would change things to be more fitting with your goal.

    Amen sister!

  • Teacher101
    December 10, 2012 at 9:25 PM

    Exactly.

    I would also add that in the U.S. the government needs to approve hormonal birth control prescriptions for men so that women aren't always blamed. 

    If a man has the ability to take a daily pill as well and an unexpected pregnancy occurs he can't claim that it is the woman's fault...

    I quoted you because I agree with everything you said.

    Quoting im23vaughn:

    I amazed that the issue of child support enforcement is rarely brought up. People want to chastise single moms, but rarely do we expect the father to step up. Maybe these kids wouldn't grow up in poverty which is one of the main reasons these kids do worse in life if states wouldn't refuse to pursue deadbeat dads in other states. States like FL won't even garnish the fathers wages if the CS is for another state.







    Until society stops giving men a free pass things will not change. It takes TWO people to create a baby. Stop trying to hold only 1 person responsible for the child's future & well-being.





    Why don't we ask why do men have unprotected sex with women they know they won't marry? Why do men lie to women & pretend be.committed just to get sex?





    Most single moms aren't having one night stands & getting pregnant. Most are in committed relationships with their dude & the relationship ends & the man bails.





    Why are parents raising their sons to not respect women & take care of their children?


  • lga1965
    by lga1965
    December 11, 2012 at 10:35 AM

     

    Quoting lalasha:

    It's really NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUISNESS. Get over it. People have sex and children with people they don't want to be with forever.

     Oh , wow, that was mature. @@  Nice language. Sure says a lot about you and your values.If you have any.

     Have sex with people they don't want to be with forever? Oh yeah, that's mature too.

    .........sigh.........

     

  • Redwall
    by Redwall
    December 11, 2012 at 7:23 PM

    I didn't need to read the article...Is it ok to have a child with someone you KNOW won't be around to help raise him/her?  NO, No, No....Unless you can afford the child without using the rest of us to pay for it.