IhartU
To those who hate on people who get public assistance
by IhartU
December 6, 2012 at 8:13 AM

 Why do you want to treat the poor like petrified dog shit? Have you ever even used food stamps? Do you even know how damn humiliating it is to know you can't support yourself and your child and have to depend on others to survive?

I was a single parent (and before you go off saying it was my choice- I was date raped and decided to keep my baby- I can admit that after 20 years now) and after serving in the Army, I worked 40-50 hours a week at a retail job. It paid so little that I qualified for subsidized daycare, food stamps and a medical card for my daughter. I wasn't a lazy good for nothing, I worked my ass off. In fact, I walked 30 blocks to drop her off at day care no matter what the weather was- rain, blizzard, then walked 30 blocks back down the street to get on the bus and then did the same thing after work. Sure, I would have been easier to just sit on my ass and collect cash assistance as well, but I didn't- because I have work ethic as do many poor people.

You have no damn idea how much having to take government help made me feel like a failure as a human being and a mother. There were many times I was glared at, called 'lazy bitch' and made to feel like crap while paying for my food with foodstamps- and this was when they were actual paper, not a card so there was no hiding the fact I was using them.

This one time, I was paying for my groceries and included were a cake mix, frosting and ice cream to make a cake for my daughters birthday (she was right there with me) when this old lady behind me told me- VERY loudly that I should be a contributing member of society, stop be so lazy, get a job and stop 'mooching off her tax dollars' and she then told me I had no right buying what I was because it wasn't 'real food'. I stood there crying, my daughter clinging to me looking up at me afraid, and even the cashier was looking at me like she felt sorry for me.

I had to stand in the cold and wait for a cab with my daughter asking me questions, both of us crying and me feeling even more humiliated then ever before.

Until you have been in my shoes, you have damn right to place asinine rules about what poor people HAVE to buy with your precious tax dollars because you have some superiority complex. What you should be feeling is warmth knowing you're helping out human being who are less fortunate in life than you are. Believe it or not, poor people understand that junk food is unhealthy but they too deserve a treat once in a while to give them some happiness. 

Replies

  • IhartU
    by IhartU
    December 6, 2012 at 11:47 AM

     

    Quoting LilyofPhilly:

    You haven't changed my mind one bit. I'm sure you could have come up with $3 for cake mix and frosting on your own. You should be happy you got any help at all. You made the choice to continue your pregnancy. You made the choice to keep your baby. Seems to me that the temporary humiliation that you suffered made you a stronger person.

      I am VERY grateful I got help- I've said that,  so there is no need to sound like a pompous bitch and make me out to be an ungrateful piece of shit.  

     Would you like to see how my money was spent?

     Let's see, back then the min wage was $4.15 and hour and I worked 40 hours a week. That's $170 a week BEFORE taxes. After taxes, I was probably left with $150. So, a month's wages was $600. My rent was $450, utilities (gas & electric) were another $120. The bus cost me $40 a month (or more if I had appointments to get to) and cab fare from the grocery store another $20. Let's add that up: That's $630- 30 more than I would have, so something had to suffer and that would usually mean asking dear old Gramma for some money or walking 5 miles home from the grocery store with the food in the stroller and my child holding onto the side in order to save cab fare- so NO, there was not $3 left over to buy cake mix and frosting.

     I understand I made the decision to keep my child and I don't for one second regret that but people who need help should not be treated badly and disprespected- that's all I'm saying.

  • JoyfulinSD
    December 6, 2012 at 11:49 AM


    Quoting StrawberryCool:

    So Youre telling me that because im on fs and my room mate and husband work full time!!!! I shouldnt be able to enjoy a steak every few months, I shouldnt enjoy a soda, and I shouldnt allow to give my daughter the memory of making cookies for Santa?

    And whatever is left on their card should roll over...they are talking out the ass.


    Quoting JoyfulinSD:

    The reason why is, I have seen people on food stamps (a debit card here in our state) pull up in an Escalade, walk into the store, get t-bones and lobster tails for a party and pay with the card.  Then hear them bragging on their cell phones on the way out that they still have to spend the rest of their $200 left on the card for this month or it just goes back to the state.  I have had others offer to buy my food and charge me half of the receipt price if I give them cash.  I seen some saying on Facebook that they are looking for another freezer because they don't have enough room left for the food they are getting this month.  I would have no issues with food stamps if they would treat it like WIC.  Only certain brands, fresh meat as long as it's not top cut like prime rib, t bones, porterhouse, etc...  If the program was used the way it was ment to (like the way you discribe) no problem.


    The thing that makes me angry is I seen a 78 year old widowed lady putting back 3 cans of potted meat because she didn't have the extra $1.00.  She had tears in her eyes, I asked her if everything was ok and she said she didn't have enough for the meat.  She went tot the check out and left.  I seen her walking In below zero temperatures, I pulled over and picked her up and gave her a ride.  On the ride, we talked and she explained that she didn't want to take food stamps not because of pride but because she didn't want to take food away from mothers and babies that need it.  when I dropped her off, I offered her some cash to help her out, even said she could pay me back if she would like so it wouldn't be charity or a gift,  She refused, thanked me for the ride then went into what was a step below a shack for a house.


    Yes, I am a Democrat, I do support Aid to those in needbut I think we are in need of an overhaul of the system.  I think it's crap that someone can get caught committing welfare fraud and still get it the following month.  It's not right that a parent paying child support to the other parent can be put in a poverty level but gross too much to get state aid.  My gma used to say "one bad apple will spoil the whole bunch."  It seems to me that she was right.  The actions of a few, make the program look bad as a whole.


    I have no problem with a steak even if you did it weekly.  I have a problem with spending $156.00 on a 12 lb Prime rib for you and your daughter.  The pop is your call if you feel that it's that needed instead of juice or something better for your girl, go for it.  Cookies, sure.  My point was people buying things that they never would if they had to use their money.  I'm sure you would buy pop, a few steaks, cookies, etc... buy would you go out and buy lobster tails and t bones?  Would you say  "holy shit!  it's the end of the month and I still have some money left in my purse I better spend it before the next check arrives."  Of course not.  So why should welfare recipients be allowed to do that with assistance that was intended to get them by instead of feeding their friends top end food that they would never buy with their own money any other time in their lives?

  • LilyofPhilly
    December 6, 2012 at 11:50 AM
    Who's vilifying her? She gave her opinion and I gave mine. No one can humiliate you without your permission. If she truly felt that she wasn't doing anything wrong, then why should some stranger in a grocery store have bothered her? Obviously, she is a prideful person that rose above her circumstances.
    I might add that if we'd all fight for fair labor practices, we wouldn't have people being put in these humiliating situations.


    Quoting MsDenuninani:



    Quoting LilyofPhilly:

    The question here, as I see it, is whether or not food stamps should only be for certain foods. The OP makes the judgement that if one believes it should be so then that person is cold an uncaring. My point was that for a birthday cake, which is not a regular expense, she'd have found a way if the food stamps were unavailable.
    So to answer your question, is MY child less deserving of a birthday cake if I couldn't afford it and don't have food stamps? Or should I have thought ahead and budgeted for it? No one deserves a birthday cake. Things like that are wants, not needs. Food stamps are made to fill needs. Where do we draw the line on filling people's wants? Cakes? Parties? Toys? We could sit here all day saying all children *deserve* these things.



    We'd reach a pretty quick impasse!


    I think kids deserve everything -- cakes, parties, you name it.


    Whether they get it depends on something else entirely.  (Life isn't fair -- you don't always get what you deserve.)


    So my point is -- the child deserves a mother who loves her and wants to celebrate her birthday.  And her mother fulfills that the best way that she sees fit, in the best manner available to her, the same as any mother would.


    [I doubt we will ever, be able to seperate "wants" from "needs" when it comes to food.  The company that makes that birthday cake mix has a very strong interest in making sure that it is considered "food" and eligible for food stamps (and likely a very strong lobby), so that alone means no one is seperating out cake from other food any time soon.  And the mother has the right to use that simple fact to her advantage.  Should she not have been able to buy the cake with her stamps, you're right, she probably would've found another way to do so.  But the fact that she did is no reason to vilify her, as she was maximizing resources, as she has every right to do.]

  • Claire-Huxtable
    December 6, 2012 at 11:50 AM
    Your husband should buy the soda with his income.


    Quoting StrawberryCool:

    So Youre telling me that because im on fs and my room mate and husband work full time!!!! I shouldnt be able to enjoy a steak every few months, I shouldnt enjoy a soda, and I shouldnt allow to give my daughter the memory of making cookies for Santa?



    And whatever is left on their card should roll over...they are talking out the ass.




    Quoting JoyfulinSD:

    The reason why is, I have seen people on food stamps (a debit card here in our state) pull up in an Escalade, walk into the store, get t-bones and lobster tails for a party and pay with the card.  Then hear them bragging on their cell phones on the way out that they still have to spend the rest of their $200 left on the card for this month or it just goes back to the state.  I have had others offer to buy my food and charge me half of the receipt price if I give them cash.  I seen some saying on Facebook that they are looking for another freezer because they don't have enough room left for the food they are getting this month.  I would have no issues with food stamps if they would treat it like WIC.  Only certain brands, fresh meat as long as it's not top cut like prime rib, t bones, porterhouse, etc...  If the program was used the way it was ment to (like the way you discribe) no problem.



    The thing that makes me angry is I seen a 78 year old widowed lady putting back 3 cans of potted meat because she didn't have the extra $1.00.  She had tears in her eyes, I asked her if everything was ok and she said she didn't have enough for the meat.  She went tot the check out and left.  I seen her walking In below zero temperatures, I pulled over and picked her up and gave her a ride.  On the ride, we talked and she explained that she didn't want to take food stamps not because of pride but because she didn't want to take food away from mothers and babies that need it.  when I dropped her off, I offered her some cash to help her out, even said she could pay me back if she would like so it wouldn't be charity or a gift,  She refused, thanked me for the ride then went into what was a step below a shack for a house.



    Yes, I am a Democrat, I do support Aid to those in need but I think we are in need of an overhaul of the system.  I think it's crap that someone can get caught committing welfare fraud and still get it the following month.  It's not right that a parent paying child support to the other parent can be put in a poverty level but gross too much to get state aid.  My gma used to say "one bad apple will spoil the whole bunch."  It seems to me that she was right.  The actions of a few, make the program look bad as a whole.



  • jessilin0113
    December 6, 2012 at 11:51 AM
    Oh right. Obama is a socialist. Funny how actual socialists disagree with you. Nobody seems to be able to back up that assertion.


    Quoting Billiejeens:



    Quoting jessilin0113:

    I dont get the big deal. They are given basically a cash award based on their income. Your tax contribution wouldn't change regardless of whether they are buying soda or milk. So what's it to you? Are you wanting in on some of that sweet poverty? Regretting the paycheck that allows you to not have to depend on others? Poor you.

    And let's not forget that cash assistance and child support are often on the same card, so they my not be using your $2 tax contribution to pay for an effing cake. Get over yourselves.

    That's funny.


    Except, that we are all headed for that sweet poverty, the current Government is determined to make people equal. The problem is that Government doesn't make people equal by making everyone rich, it simply makes everyone poor.


  • futureshock
    December 6, 2012 at 11:52 AM

    Very true.

    Quoting LilyofPhilly:

    You haven't changed my mind one bit. I'm sure you could have come up with $3 for cake mix and frosting on your own. You should be happy you got any help at all. You made the choice to continue your pregnancy. You made the choice to keep your baby. Seems to me that the temporary humiliation that you suffered made you a stronger person.
  • IhartU
    by IhartU
    December 6, 2012 at 11:53 AM

     

    Quoting StrawberryCool:

    Do you know about 50% of homeless people chose ti be homeless?

    You cabt tell me they dont know how to go into a library and apply for a job, and if you dont know how to use one, im sure you can ask for help.

     I've heard that in order to get a job you need an address and a phone number they can reach you at. Some shelters are full of crime and not safe and some choose to live take their chances on the street instead so they don't have an address. Do you honestly think someone would hire a homeless person off the street to work for their company without any references or information- they ususally don't even an ID?

     

     

  • brookiecookie87
    December 6, 2012 at 11:55 AM

    You are being rather obtuse now.

    I never said my assumptions about you were correct. But they are correct when focused on who they were aimed at. And the people they are aimed at will come in here. Do you understand, yet?

    This is my original quote.

    Quote:

    This thought process always astounds me.

    Conservatives who are against Abortions (Pro Life) and try to establish laws that hinder people from making the choice and if they can take that choice away entirely. And then when someone has the baby they are like, "Now we want you to have the bare minimum for that baby and his/her life".

    I am sure they could cut spending down to just rice and beans as well. and maybe setup slums like they have in other countries and shove these people in little box like houses.
    This post still stands. Conservatives who are against Abortions (Pro Life) And try to establish laws that hinder people from making the choice and if they can take that choice away entirely. And then when someone has the baby they are like, "Now we want you to have the bare minimum for that baby and his/her life"

    So you are not conservative or Pro-Life-Great. That doesn't change how I am astounded by people who are. So it doesn't chage my post-Understand yet?

    My post was never based on your thought process. But the thought process I thought you had. It's not your thought process-Great. But it doesn't change the thought process of the people who are using it. And it's them that astound me.

    I was redundant in this post but saying a statement once seems to not be working on you. So one more time.


    My statement doesn't need to be attached to your post at all. It doesn't require anything from you to be true. I could have posted on it's own. I did assume you were one of the people that my post frames so I quoted your post. You say I am wrong-And that is great. I am glad you are not one of those people with a contradictory opinion. But that does not change that those people exist and will be in this topic. I have admitted that I was wrong about you from the very start. I never defended that assertion and claimed you were lying. I never defended that part.

    The other part is still true though. There are conservatives that are pro-life and then when the baby is born they don't care anymore.

    That's not a statement I have to defend because it is still true. Understand?

    Quoting LilyofPhilly:

    Wow you sure are adament about defending your failed assumptions.

    Quoting brookiecookie87:

    Are you disagreeing that most conservatives are Pro-Life? Or are you disagreeing that most conservatives look down on people who use PA?

    I am not saying everyone that is Pro life is conservative. And I am not saying everyone who is conservative is Pro Life.

    Did you see me say, that I was right about you? And that you are lying? No.

    I am saying that most likely someone who is Conservative/prolife and looks down on PA will come into this topic. So I am going to leave this post like this. And I will do the same in the future.



    Quoting LilyofPhilly:

    Oh I see. You like making generalizations about what kind of people think what ways and even when your assumption fails are pointed out to you, you stick to your stereotypes because "they're usually right" M'kay!



    Quoting brookiecookie87:

    No-Next time I will say the same thing. Because it is normally the conservative/ Pro Lifer that makes that assertion. And there is a chance they will see my post so it is not like there is not a point to it being out there.

    You are the first Pro-Choice person I have seen with that opinion.



    Quoting LilyofPhilly:

    Well I suggest next time you leave out your assumptions.





    Quoting brookiecookie87:

    I thought I was. Next time I see someone post something like you just did I wll.




    Quoting LilyofPhilly:

    So go quote them.







    Quoting brookiecookie87:

    Nice try?

    It's still a solid and true statement. It might not apply to you but it still applies to nearly every conservative pro-choice person who will say the same thing you just said. Which will be most people who come in this topic with your stance.





    Quoting LilyofPhilly:

    Yeah, I'm not a conservative and I'm pro -choice, but nice try. I'm just sick of people whining about having limitations on their hand outs.









    Quoting brookiecookie87:

    This thought process always astounds me.

    Conservatives who are against Abortions (Pro Life) and try to establish laws that hinder people from making the choice and if they can take that choice away entirely. And then when someone has the baby they are like, "Now we want you to have the bare minimum for that baby and his/her life".

    I am sure they could cut spending down to just rice and beans as well. and maybe setup slums like they have in other countries and shove these people in little box like houses.






    Quoting LilyofPhilly:

    You haven't changed my mind one bit. I'm sure you could have come up with $3 for cake mix and frosting on your own. You should be happy you got any help at all. You made the choice to continue your pregnancy. You made the choice to keep your baby. Seems to me that the temporary humiliation that you suffered made you a stronger person.







  • IhartU
    by IhartU
    December 6, 2012 at 11:57 AM

     

    Quoting futureshock:

    Very true.

    Quoting LilyofPhilly:

    You haven't changed my mind one bit. I'm sure you could have come up with $3 for cake mix and frosting on your own. You should be happy you got any help at all. You made the choice to continue your pregnancy. You made the choice to keep your baby. Seems to me that the temporary humiliation that you suffered made you a stronger person.

     I'll say this again, I WAS AND STILL AM EXTRELEY GRATEFUL FOR THE ASSISTANCE I GOT- never said I wasn't. What pisses me off is the way people who need help are treated.

     I made my decisions and I don't regret them but what I do regret is not opening my mouth and telling assholes off who dared look at or talk to me like I was bum for needing help at that time in my life- NO ONE should be made to feel badly for admitting they need assistance and accepting.

  • StrawberryCool
    December 6, 2012 at 12:00 PM
    I get your point now.

    Thanks for explaining.

    We do steak once a month, and its always the in sale kind, that is like 3.00

    Id NEVER pay for that stuff with FS or hubbys check...crap is expensive, and I can feed dd hubby and me for a week off of speghatti...

    Soda is for me. I got so addicted to the caffine that I cant go with out it...ill have serve migranes.

    She gets apple juice or water, her choice.

    But thank you for explaining your statement.


    Quoting JoyfulinSD:



    Quoting StrawberryCool:

    So Youre telling me that because im on fs and my room mate and husband work full time!!!! I shouldnt be able to enjoy a steak every few months, I shouldnt enjoy a soda, and I shouldnt allow to give my daughter the memory of making cookies for Santa?

    And whatever is left on their card should roll over...they are talking out the ass.



    Quoting JoyfulinSD:


    The reason why is, I have seen people on food stamps (a debit card here in our state) pull up in an Escalade, walk into the store, get t-bones and lobster tails for a party and pay with the card.  Then hear them bragging on their cell phones on the way out that they still have to spend the rest of their $200 left on the card for this month or it just goes back to the state.  I have had others offer to buy my food and charge me half of the receipt price if I give them cash.  I seen some saying on Facebook that they are looking for another freezer because they don't have enough room left for the food they are getting this month.  I would have no issues with food stamps if they would treat it like WIC.  Only certain brands, fresh meat as long as it's not top cut like prime rib, t bones, porterhouse, etc...  If the program was used the way it was ment to (like the way you discribe) no problem.



    The thing that makes me angry is I seen a 78 year old widowed lady putting back 3 cans of potted meat because she didn't have the extra $1.00.  She had tears in her eyes, I asked her if everything was ok and she said she didn't have enough for the meat.  She went tot the check out and left.  I seen her walking In below zero temperatures, I pulled over and picked her up and gave her a ride.  On the ride, we talked and she explained that she didn't want to take food stamps not because of pride but because she didn't want to take food away from mothers and babies that need it.  when I dropped her off, I offered her some cash to help her out, even said she could pay me back if she would like so it wouldn't be charity or a gift,  She refused, thanked me for the ride then went into what was a step below a shack for a house.



    Yes, I am a Democrat, I do support Aid to those in needbut I think we are in need of an overhaul of the system.  I think it's crap that someone can get caught committing welfare fraud and still get it the following month.  It's not right that a parent paying child support to the other parent can be put in a poverty level but gross too much to get state aid.  My gma used to say "one bad apple will spoil the whole bunch."  It seems to me that she was right.  The actions of a few, make the program look bad as a whole.



    I have no problem with a steak even if you did it weekly.  I have a problem with spending $156.00 on a 12 lb Prime rib for you and your daughter.  The pop is your call if you feel that it's that needed instead of juice or something better for your girl, go for it.  Cookies, sure.  My point was people buying things that they never would if they had to use their money.  I'm sure you would buy pop, a few steaks, cookies, etc... buy would you go out and buy lobster tails and t bones?  Would you say  "holy shit!  it's the end of the month and I still have some money left in my purse I better spend it before the next check arrives."  Of course not.  So why should welfare recipients be allowed to do that with assistance that was intended to get them by instead of feeding their friends top end food that they would never buy with their own money any other time in their lives?