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Debmomto2girls
Dating outside your race
November 27, 2012 at 6:49 PM
My 14 y.o., who hasn't shown much interest in dating yet, has made many diverse friends in high school this year. She asked me how I would feel if she dated someone from another race. I've always considered myself very liberal. I have to admit for a minute the thought bothered me. Than it bothered me that is bothered me.. Lol! Anyway, I told her that has long as they were nice and respectable than I was okay with it.

What do you think? Is it different when it is your own child?

Replies

  • katy_kay08
    November 27, 2012 at 6:51 PM

    It would not bother me

  • UpSheRises
    November 27, 2012 at 6:55 PM

    If it bothered you that it bothered you then you've got nothing to worry about. The reaction isn't the problem, it's how you act on it, so don't feel bad.

    It wouldn't be a problem for me. I specifically choose a school for DS that has lots of colors of people, i think mixing is a good thing.

  • krysstizzle
    November 27, 2012 at 6:55 PM

    Wouldn't bother me. If it did, it would be pretty weird, considering I'm half German/part Hispanic and Indian and my kids are half black...they'd have a pretty small pool to choose from, I guess.

  • Mommy_of_Riley
    Jes
    November 27, 2012 at 6:58 PM
    It wouldn't bother me. Our family is very diverse.

    I will be honest though, growing up I didn't date anyone of another race because I wanted my future kids to look like me. My Aunt is married to a Samoan and her kids took after that side of the family. She used to tell me it made her sad that everyone always asked if they were her kids because she is pale & Irish while her kids look 100% Samoan...
  • Debmomto2girls
    November 27, 2012 at 7:00 PM
    Quoting UpSheRises:

    If it bothered you that it bothered you then you've got nothing to worry about. The reaction isn't the problem, it's how you act on it, so don't feel bad.

    It wouldn't be a problem for me. I specifically choose a school for DS that has lots of colors of people, i think mixing is a good thing.


    it is why my dd choose an arts high school. She went to an all white Catholic grade school and told me she was tired of looking at the same kinds of people everyday..lol! She loves her high school and will tell you it's because of the diversity
  • Euphoric
    November 27, 2012 at 7:02 PM

     It wouldn't bother me.

  • krysstizzle
    November 27, 2012 at 7:07 PM

    Funny story (but OT): So, my mom and grandmother (maternal) are as white as it gets, they're German, blond/brown hair and blue eyed. My dad is hispanic/native, and not a light skinned hispanic, either; I look exactly like my dad and his sisters. Dark skin, black hair and eyes.

    So when I was about 2 or 3 years old, my mom and grandma and I went to the southern part of New Mexico. Leaving, you have to go through a border check point. So as they're going through the check point, the agent looks in, sees these two white ladies leaving the border region with a very Hispanic child, and promptly ask them to pull over. They were thoroughly questioned, my mom insisting that I was her biological daughter. lol Apparently, they were there for a good half hour at least. 

    Aside from that incident, it's never bothered my mom or family, though :)


    Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

    It wouldn't bother me. Our family is very diverse.

    I will be honest though, growing up I didn't date anyone of another race because I wanted my future kids to look like me. My Aunt is married to a Samoan and her kids took after that side of the family. She used to tell me it made her sad that everyone always asked if they were her kids because she is pale & Irish while her kids look 100% Samoan...


  • Clairwil
    November 27, 2012 at 7:07 PM
    Quoting Debmomto2girls:

    She asked me how I would feel if she dated someone from another race.

    Race will mainly cause problems because of how people outside the relationship react to them (including relatives).

    A far bigger issue (in my opinion) will be any cultural differences which are correlated to differences in race, just as they are correlated with extreme differences in wealth, religion, nationality, and many other factors.

  • Sekirei
    by Sekirei
    November 27, 2012 at 7:08 PM

    Wouldn't bother me.

  • Mommy_of_Riley
    Jes
    November 27, 2012 at 7:08 PM
    LOL!!!

    Yeah my aunt is very soft hearted so when people would assume she was a friend or what not and not believe she was their mother, her feelings would get hurt.


    Quoting krysstizzle:

    Funny story (but OT): So, my mom and grandmother (maternal) are as white as it gets, they're German, blond/brown hair and blue eyed. My dad is hispanic/native, and not a light skinned hispanic, either; I look exactly like my dad and his sisters. Dark skin, black hair and eyes.

    So when I was about 2 or 3 years old, my mom and grandma and I went to the southern part of New Mexico. Leaving, you have to go through a border check point. So as they're going through the check point, the agent looks in, sees these two white ladies leaving the border region with a very Hispanic child, and promptly ask them to pull over. They were thoroughly questioned, my mom insisting that I was her biological daughter. lol Apparently, they were there for a good half hour at least. 

    Aside from that incident, it's never bothered my mom or family, though :)


    Quoting Mommy_of_Riley:

    It wouldn't bother me. Our family is very diverse.



    I will be honest though, growing up I didn't date anyone of another race because I wanted my future kids to look like me. My Aunt is married to a Samoan and her kids took after that side of the family. She used to tell me it made her sad that everyone always asked if they were her kids because she is pale & Irish while her kids look 100% Samoan...


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