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My dd is 14 and goes to a performing arts high school. She gets striaght A's and follows the rules. She hasn't asked me to date and loves to go out with friends. I have let her get her ears pierced and she now has three holes. SHe asked me to get the underside of her hair (which is long and curly) dyed red. So, I let her. My MIL flipped out. She said between the ear peircings and now getting her hair dyed she is going to look like a "hood". Another mom said she would never let he dd dye her hair until she was 18.
My opinion is she is a good kid and wants to have some fun with her appearance. This is the time to do it.
THoughts?
Replies
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My opinion is, give 'em an inch and they'll take a mile. The peircings were just the start---eventually she will have the look that most mothers do not want their little girls to have.
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I don't see any reason not to let her dye her hair, or pierce her ears. Any body piercings would have to wait in my house though. I do not like facial piercings and the like.
Hair is nothing, it grows back, can be redyed, is fun to experiment with.
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I see no issue.. you are her mother and you know her best.. :D
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Sure, I'd let my child do that, if he wanted to. It's his hair, not mine.
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Quoting toomanypoodles:
My opinion is, give 'em an inch and they'll take a mile. The peircings were just the start---eventually she will have the look that most mothers do not want their little girls to have.
IMO, that to me sounds like a low opinion of children. She got her ears pierced the first time in 6th grade, than 7th and than 8th for graduation. She wear 2 tiny little earrings and one regular. Actually, her friends were getting their cartilidge pierced and she didn't want it because it "looked too much". She is mature and knows what she wants. She hasn't made any bad choices yet so I will continue to let her make choices. I want her to be confident and thoughtful in her decisions. If not, 18 isn't going to magically make her mature. -
Dying hair yes, Dating NO not until 16. -
I have told my girls that they aren't allowed to dye their hair until 18 & don't recommend it until they're closer to 25 & not when they're pregnant. They understand, though, that it's a matter of it possibly permanently damaging their hair if they do it before they are done growing.
Thankfully, they both seem to see & understand the big picture. They personally see me living it with drawing out coloring my hair to every 6 months & using a good color that I don't strip with daily shampoo after getting it.
We've also advised them against any tattoos that would be visible outside of work clothing (if they get one at all). Here in Vegas, we get to see the effects of tats that should have never been or that have grown old. It's just not pretty in many cases. -
Personally I don't think I would let my child dye thei hair, but have no problems with other parents who allow it. My biggest gripe is parents who let their kids wear totally inappropriate clothing. Used to work in a convienence store and this 14 yr old girl came in the store with her dad and I swear she looked like a classic hooker you would see in a movie, her butt hanging out of the bottom of her shorts they were so short, top so low cut I'm surprised you couldn't see her entire chest :-( I was just like really you let her come out of the house like that???
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Then why did you bother to make a post about this?
Quoting Debmomto2girls:
Quoting toomanypoodles:
IMO, that to me sounds like a low opinion of children. She got her ears pierced the first time in 6th grade, than 7th and than 8th for graduation. She wear 2 tiny little earrings and one regular. Actually, her friends were getting their cartilidge pierced and she didn't want it because it "looked too much". She is mature and knows what she wants. She hasn't made any bad choices yet so I will continue to let her make choices. I want her to be confident and thoughtful in her decisions. If not, 18 isn't going to magically make her mature.My opinion is, give 'em an inch and they'll take a mile. The peircings were just the start---eventually she will have the look that most mothers do not want their little girls to have.
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I totally agree with you. This is the age where the kids are trying to find an identity. Our moms and mils will always be against something different it's the old fashion in them. But it ultimately comes down to you and your daughter,and if it makes her happy and you can appreciate her uniqueness and she's a good kid/student,by all means go for it. Besides she could just be experimenting and it doesn't mean she's gonna turn herself into a rainbow pin cushion for the rest of her life!