Veni.Vidi.Vici.
I find it hard to believe people still do this
October 9, 2012 at 8:44 AM

I know four women in their 30's who got pregnant and married the baby's father. These women didn't get married because they were in 'love', but because she wanted to legitimize her child. Two of those women are seperated and divorcing. The other two are miserable in their marriages.

Why do women/men feel the need to legitimize their children with marriage?

Replies

  • futureshock
    October 15, 2012 at 9:16 PM


    Quoting kelliewhitney:

    If the dad would not make a good life partner, it's a HORRIBLE idea. If he would, I see no problem with it. I know a woman who lived with a man for about 10 years before she got pregnant. They have a great relationship, but never saw a reason to get married. Once they found out that they were expecting, off to the county court they went to get married. They were planning to be together forever anyway, so it made sense.

    It makes fiscal sense to be married to the father. Now that she is his wife (and has been for well over 20 years) they don't need to worry about inheritance and Social Security issues if either of them passes away. They are VERY financially sound, so there are tons of assets that could wind up in probate, even with a will, if they were not married.

    It's just simpler, assuming the dad is not a douche.

    Why is it ok to choose a man for the father of your child if he isn't good enough to be your husband?  (GENERAL you.)  This is the part I do not understand about this.

    If the dad would not make a good life partner, it's a HORRIBLE idea.

  • Imdomsmom
    October 16, 2012 at 8:26 AM

    I'm sorry, and maybe people might find my response old fashion, or offensive. But if women and men would quit sleeping around before they got married, this would not be a problem. There are a ton of children in today's society born out of wedlock or in this scenario, parents only wed because of baby. Children flourish in homes with loving parents, who want to be in the marriage. I'm not saying marriage is always happy, but children know the difference between parents who are disagreeing about a subject and parents who downright dislike each other. Anyway, long story short, stop having sex before you find 'the one' and this will not continue to be a problem. You can always take an aspirin. You take it, put it in between your knees and hold it there, harder to get pregnant that way!

  • BeccaBear11
    October 16, 2012 at 12:22 PM
    My dad married my mom because she was pregnant with my older sister. They are still married to this day and I am so happy they are. I am almost 30 and also have a 20 year old little brother. It was rocky at times but we are still a family and I am very grateful they stayed together.
  • c_ramirez8606
    October 16, 2012 at 6:05 PM

    I think it is so stupid. When i got pregnant with my 1st child, i did not marry my childs father. We were not ready. We got married when our son was 11 months old. We've been together 7 years and married 5. We are happy and I happy that we waited until we were ready. You should only marry for love, nothing else.

  • mm_mom515
    February 23, 2013 at 9:56 PM

    All I have to say is, birth control and condoms don't always work.

    Quoting mamaeagle216:

    I think you should keep your legs close if you're not smart enough to research effective birth control methods. You wouldn't be pregnant and wouldn't be pressured to get married. Problem solved.


  • LntLckrsCmQut
    February 23, 2013 at 9:58 PM

    Well, that was the only reason my husband and I got married. We were living together but had no plans of getting married until I got pregnant. We got married at the JOP as well.

  • MrsImperfect
    February 23, 2013 at 10:02 PM
    Same here with my parents. They were teens. 19 and 16. Were dating and broke up. My mom got pregnant (by another man) and told my dad it was his so they got married. 4 kids later it ended. My mom slept with a black man so the baby obviously wasnt my dads. During that time it was unheard of. He still stayed with her cause he didnt want my sister fatherless.

    Quoting LoveMyKBabies:

    It's how some people were raised. My dad married my mom, because she was pregnant with my sister. They had 3 kids & were married for 5 years. 2 years after the divorce my dad's girlfriend ended up pregnant, so dad asked her to marry him. She said no. She knew it was because she was pregnant. My dad was raised to take responsibility for his actions, to him that meant marrying the mother of his child.
  • x_Starr_x
    February 23, 2013 at 10:03 PM
    i married my first husband cause I got pregnant big mistake.
  • turtle68
    February 23, 2013 at 10:20 PM

     I dont get it either....although I know mostly the opposite type of women.  Those who are secure with who the are and what is important...plus theyre all financially independant