Veni.Vidi.Vici.
I find it hard to believe people still do this
October 9, 2012 at 8:44 AM

I know four women in their 30's who got pregnant and married the baby's father. These women didn't get married because they were in 'love', but because she wanted to legitimize her child. Two of those women are seperated and divorcing. The other two are miserable in their marriages.

Why do women/men feel the need to legitimize their children with marriage?

Replies

  • NWP
    by NWP
    October 9, 2012 at 8:46 AM

    It seems a bit antiquated, doesn't it? As a child of divorced parents, I can tell you from experience it is isn't always in the best interests of the children for the parents to stay in a miserable marraige.

  • Stephanie329
    October 9, 2012 at 8:54 AM
    I'm with OP, who still does this?
  • sneffy014
    October 9, 2012 at 9:01 AM

    My question is why women in their 30s are having babies with men they don't love? With all the methods of protection nowadays, I find it hard to believe that all 4 of the women you know had accidents. I am not trying to be snarky, I am just a bit old-fashioned. My 20th Anniversary is in a few weeks so I can't imagine having sex or a baby with someone I didn't care about.

  • sneffy014
    October 9, 2012 at 9:02 AM

    To answer your question though, I think deep inside most women still believe in marriage although many would never admit it. I had this discussion with my 30 year old stepdaughter recently. I am 47.

  • steffielou_who
    October 9, 2012 at 9:17 AM

    The children are the ones who suffer..

    No matter how small they are or clueless the parents think they are, they can always tell when there are problems.. 

  • LoveMyKBabies
    October 9, 2012 at 9:21 AM
    It's how some people were raised. My dad married my mom, because she was pregnant with my sister. They had 3 kids & were married for 5 years. 2 years after the divorce my dad's girlfriend ended up pregnant, so dad asked her to marry him. She said no. She knew it was because she was pregnant. My dad was raised to take responsibility for his actions, to him that meant marrying the mother of his child.
  • butlerro1013
    October 9, 2012 at 9:22 AM

    I know people like this to. Do you think they are truly thinking along the lines of "legitimizing" their child, or more along the lines of buying into the idea of being a "happy family"?  These marriages fail because there's no foundation for the relationship aside from the child.  But the women I know who have done this truly think that they are creating a family and want to buy into it...I'm not sure they really care about being married so their children aren't bastards.  

  • asfriend
    October 9, 2012 at 9:39 AM
    This!

    The most destructive problem in the country today is people having babies with people that they are not in love with, and do not intend to spend their lives with.




    Quoting sneffy014:

    My question is why women in their 30s are having babies with men they don't love? With all the methods of protection nowadays, I find it hard to believe that all 4 of the women you know had accidents. I am not trying to be snarky, I am just a bit old-fashioned. My 20th Anniversary is in a few weeks so I can't imagine having sex or a baby with someone I didn't care about.


  • katzmeow726
    October 9, 2012 at 9:46 AM

    Because of the way people look on unwed mothers and their children...you've seen the mentality on here.  It doesn't surprise me!

  • katzmeow726
    October 9, 2012 at 9:49 AM

    Oh please.  Almost ever issue our  nation is facing now can be traced to corporate greed.

    And ladies, THIS is what I was referring to in the Hitler post.  Placing the nations issues on the shoulders poor and/or less desirable members of society.  Asfriend has graciously offered to provide an EXCELLENT example for us.   

    Quoting asfriend:

    This!

    The most destructive problem in the country today is people having babies with people that they are not in love with, and do not intend to spend their lives with.




    Quoting sneffy014:

    My question is why women in their 30s are having babies with men they don't love? With all the methods of protection nowadays, I find it hard to believe that all 4 of the women you know had accidents. I am not trying to be snarky, I am just a bit old-fashioned. My 20th Anniversary is in a few weeks so I can't imagine having sex or a baby with someone I didn't care about.