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My 7 year old son can be handful I know. He has Adhd and sensory issues. He's not perfect, neither am I but we try our best.
The other day, my oldest daughter was outside when our neighbor started talking to her.
Neighbor "Does your mom spank your brother?"
DD "No, she doesn't believe in spanking."
Neighbor. "That's not good." "If she doesn't start spanking and disciplining him now, he won't respect her and when he gets older he'll start hitting her too."
DD "Well she does make him to push ups and pull ups when he gets in trouble."
Neighbor "That's not good!" "That's physical abuse and she could get the kids taken away!"
Seriously lady??
- Only group members can vote in this poll.
- 4% - Yes. That's absolutely abuse!
- 52% - No...while I wouldn't do it, I don't think it's abuse.
- 44% - Lol, not abuse and sounds like something I would do.
Replies
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I love the idea of the encyclopedia thing. I can't wait to pull that. Right now, I'd get a Tonka whizzing by the ear, good thing they're soft now. I'm quick though, Dubya dodging shoes, I'm quick.
Anyway, there's no malice in the thrown truck, he's still learning not to fling. I thought I'd add that before I got a bunch of shocked reaction posts. -
The punishment fits the crime at our house. My kids have been known to run laps around the house or do pushups for being in trouble. Especially my DS, he is very physical and very energetic so it helps to get some energy out for him. It is not abuse and your neighbor is an ass.
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Even diebetics can have fruit because fructose loads more evenly and slowly than sucrose. I wonder what those kids are snacking on? Fruit is a great easy snack with roughage if it is unpeeled. My kids would get bored with a never ending string of carrot sticks and peanut butter. They eat cookies and get chips, not a whole bunch. Who can afford to realistically feed a 10 yr old boy and his hoardes of hungry friends a big bag of chips at 4.89 a bag? I certainly can't! They would wolf a bag down in 10 min flat without taking a breath. LOL
Quoting paganbaby:
I know right?
This lady is weird... She's suuuuper healthy. Not only are her kids not allowed to have sugar, they can't eat fruit either because of the sugar in it.
Quoting SEEKEROFSHELLS:
You have the weirdest neighbor! Who the hell talks to a kid about discipline techniques used in the home? That is weird.
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Spanking and push-ups aren't examples f discipline, they are examples of punishment. If a child does something wrong and only receives a punishment you've only done half of your job...the discipline part, the guidance & patience, will be far more effective over time than any punishment.
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I think as long as your approach to the dicipline is positive, he will gain from it. My almost 5 year old will probably be "diagnosied" with ADHD at some point in his school career by a well meaning teacher. He needs physical activity and when he doesn't get it, he acts out. Sometimes, I "make" him do yoga with me, sometimes, we run around the building a couple times. Either way, something physical helps him refocus
Are you home schooling him this year?
Quoting paganbaby:
First I have to say, I LOVE your avi!
Okay and yeah I can see that, but honestly the punishment has to fit the child. The exercise is mainly for my son. He has a tendency to lash out when he's over stimulated. Push ups and pull ups help him calm down and it's never done in a really negative way. After he proudly tells everyone how many he did/how strong he is and more importantly, is relaxed.
As rule you don't want kids to associate something good (exercise, reading, writing, eating vegetables) with something negative like punishment. But each kid is different and mainly as parents we just have to play it by ear.
Quoting Imamom4sure:
I dont think its a good idea to have physical activity be asociated with punishment any more than I think its a good idea for cookies to reward. there are many studies that kids that are forced to write as punishment, end up hating or avoiding writing and become huge procrasinators at writing. and although they can get over such a hang up, it not a good idea to think of it in terms of punishment, but instead as release, such exercise or write to blow off the steam that is causing the misbehavior in the first place. I dont think its abuse, but I do think calling it or treating it as punishment is a mistake, instead think of it as kid needs to get more in control of impulses and get attitude shift and exercise is a big help in that.
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Tell your neighbor to stop questioning your kids about what goes on in your house. It's not her place. -
Sigh
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Theres always weeding...works for me as punishment. And I have threatened them withscrubbing tile grout with a toothbrush. Never had to actually follow thru withthat one.
Quoting Imamom4sure:
I dont think its a good idea to have physical activity be asociated with punishment any more than I think its a good idea for cookies to reward. there are many studies that kids that are forced to write as punishment, end up hating or avoiding writing and become huge procrasinators at writing. and although they can get over such a hang up, it not a good idea to think of it in terms of punishment, but instead as release, such exercise or write to blow off the steam that is causing the misbehavior in the first place. I dont think its abuse, but I do think calling it or treating it as punishment is a mistake, instead think of it as kid needs to get more in control of impulses and get attitude shift and exercise is a big help in that.
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Ds12 once said he dreads my lecture more than a spanking. Thats good...I can get really long winded too. Filibuster, anyone?
Quoting UpSheRises:
Spanking and push-ups aren't examples f discipline, they are examples of punishment. If a child does something wrong and only receives a punishment you've only done half of your job...the discipline part, the guidance & patience, will be far more effective over time than any punishment.
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You've got some very strange neighbors Pagan. If push ups are abuse then pretty much every kid who attends a martial arts class is being abused. They do push ups along with other excerises at the beginning of every class and they are usually assigned immediate pushups for any misbehavior including such things as not paying attention to the instructor, talking to another student while the instructor is talking and not using SIR when addressing or responding to the instructor.