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paganbaby
My children are not allowed to be Gay *Edit in red*
October 3, 2012 at 11:30 AM

Or straight for that matter until they're 13.

There's been a lot of negative talk around the house lately about sexual preference . Some neighborhood kids are accusing my 7 year son of being gay. (He likes to chase boys and pretend to kiss them) Then my younger two (7 and 5) have over heard my dd's friends talk about homosexual this and bi that. We've talked and talked but I feel like I'm just spinning in circles.

So I decided to nip it in the bud. I made the announcement last night that all kids are A-sexual, meaning they don't like anyone. And like religion (that's another subject we're going round and round with), you're not allowed to chose what you are until you're a teenager. The kids seemed satisfied and my 13 year old dd took that as an opportunity to announce that she was officially Straight and Christian!

We have some funny dinner table conversations LOL


I never said they weren't allowed to like anyone. I had my first crush at 5 (A neighbor boy) And my next big crush at 8 (My sister's bf Andrea) Did that make me Gay, Straight, or Bi? I didn't know or care. I was a kid.

The issue isn't me not wanting my kids to like other kids, but them feeling forced to identify their sexuality when they aren't ready too. My 5 year old can come home tomorrow and say she likes Suzie. I'll smile and say that's great. It doesn't make her a lesbian though. That is something that she has to decide when she's ready too and 5 isn't it.

Replies

  • sweet-a-kins
    October 3, 2012 at 11:50 AM

     Stifiling conversation, learning oppurtunities and sexuality until you are comfortable with your children expressing themselves...

    umm...

     

    NO

  • paganbaby
    October 3, 2012 at 11:51 AM

    Oh of course.

    Quoting ms-superwoman:

    I really don't care what my son does at any age. As long as he's not hurting himself or anyone else, of course.


  • EmilysMom2010
    October 3, 2012 at 11:51 AM
    Nope. You're too late. Lmao!

    Quoting paganbaby:

    Ahhh...is there room for one in Lala land? *giggles*

    Quoting EmilysMom2010:

    I like to live in LaLa Land. My dd is only 2. Nothing will be serious till 16...in my head...;-)
    Quoting paganbaby:

    Tempting, but I have a brand new teenager on my hands who would rebel LOL

    Quoting EmilysMom2010:

    Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Sounds good to me, but I would have said 16.



  • dustinsmom1
    October 3, 2012 at 11:54 AM

     I see nothing wrong w/agens post/ There is no reason children should be thinking about boys or girls or their "sexuality until they are a minimum of 13. This crap where people let 10 yr olds "date" is disgusting and setting up them for much more problems later on life. Pagan is suggesting they focus on friends, family, school work etc, rather then whos gay or straight or who "likes" who. I'm sure her kids are doing and will do just fine~! :)

    Quoting Lizardannie1966:

    Because while they all giggled with Mom, you're setting them up to eventually feel that they cannot come to you if they happen to like someone before that cut-off age group. Or find out that they may feel a certain way and will feel that they're going to upset you.

    Be careful when doing this sort of thing. You don't want to close communication channels with your kids by simply setting up rules like this. Instead, teach them to cope with the ridicule, speculations and assumptions of other kids.

    Setting up some sort of age barrier will not prevent them from feeling things for another kid before that minimum age.

    Quoting paganbaby:

    *Big smile*

    But why??

    Quoting Lizardannie1966:

    Pagan, I think you're adorable and ALWAYS look forward to your posts.

    But you might want to rethink this.



     

  • paganbaby
    October 3, 2012 at 11:56 AM

    No, not at all. This was more to take the pressure off of them. After I told them they looked relieved. They're too young to worry about who they're going to marry or what religion they're going to choose. It's not a firm law that I'm going to periodically bring up and enforce.

    Similar to what I told my 13 year old daughter. She was stressing about having to move out when she's an adult so I told her that I don't expect her to move anywhere until she's at least engaged or married. She let a out a big sigh and smiled. Of course if she wants to move out earlier I wouldn't stop her. I just said this now so she wouldn't have to stress about it.

    Quoting Lizardannie1966:

    Because while they all giggled with Mom, you're setting them up to eventually feel that they cannot come to you if they happen to like someone before that cut-off age group. Or find out that they may feel a certain way and will feel that they're going to upset you.

    Be careful when doing this sort of thing. You don't want to close communication channels with your kids by simply setting up rules like this. Instead, teach them to cope with the ridicule, speculations and assumptions of other kids.

    Setting up some sort of age barrier will not prevent them from feeling things for another kid before that minimum age.

    Quoting paganbaby:

    *Big smile*

    But why??

    Quoting Lizardannie1966:

    Pagan, I think you're adorable and ALWAYS look forward to your posts.

    But you might want to rethink this.




  • Lizardannie1966
    October 3, 2012 at 11:59 AM

    @@ I'm sure her kids are doing great, too, hon. Nothing was said otherwise.

    Reading comprehension should NEVER be an option. Ever, at any time.

    There should be "no reason" why children should be thinking about boys or girls under the age of 13? Why is that? This doesn't mean that the parent allows the child to date under that age (my minimum is 16-years old). It's simply acknowledging and respecting on the part of the parent, that their little kid is a human being and has emotions and feelings for others and that it's perfectly natural and healthy.

    Closing the door to the child and saying, "no go," is also shutting the door to healthy, vital communication between parent and child.

    But again, as cutesy as you attempted in scolding me, I think Pagan's a great Mom. I'm simply speaking from the voice of being a parent for nearly 26 years and learning as I go along to not ignore those true human emotions a child feels nor dismiss them.

    Quoting dustinsmom1:

     I see nothing wrong w/agens post/ There is no reason children should be thinking about boys or girls or their "sexuality until they are a minimum of 13. This crap where people let 10 yr olds "date" is disgusting and setting up them for much more problems later on life. Pagan is suggesting they focus on friends, family, school work etc, rather then whos gay or straight or who "likes" who. I'm sure her kids are doing and will do just fine~! :)

    Quoting Lizardannie1966:

    Because while they all giggled with Mom, you're setting them up to eventually feel that they cannot come to you if they happen to like someone before that cut-off age group. Or find out that they may feel a certain way and will feel that they're going to upset you.

    Be careful when doing this sort of thing. You don't want to close communication channels with your kids by simply setting up rules like this. Instead, teach them to cope with the ridicule, speculations and assumptions of other kids.

    Setting up some sort of age barrier will not prevent them from feeling things for another kid before that minimum age.

    Quoting paganbaby:

    *Big smile*

    But why??

    Quoting Lizardannie1966:

    Pagan, I think you're adorable and ALWAYS look forward to your posts.

    But you might want to rethink this.



     


  • paganbaby
    October 3, 2012 at 12:00 PM

    Yes, this right here :-)

    Quoting lga1965:

     I don't see anything wrong with Pagan's post. :-)

    WHy should she "re-think" it?I see it as "tongue-in-cheek-" humorous , getting a point across in a light hearted way instead of being too serious.


  • Lizardannie1966
    October 3, 2012 at 12:02 PM

    Just try to remember that if they surprise you, actually having some feelings or concerns at an age younger than 13, that you're open to it and do not faint and fall over. ;)

    Quoting paganbaby:

    No, not at all. This was more to take the pressure off of them. After I told them they looked relieved. They're too young to worry about who they're going to marry or what religion they're going to choose. It's not a firm law that I'm going to periodically bring up and enforce.

    Similar to what I told my 13 year old daughter. She was stressing about having to move out when she's an adult so I told her that I don't expect her to move anywhere until she's at least engaged or married. She let a out a big sigh and smiled. Of course if she wants to move out earlier I wouldn't stop her. I just said this now so she wouldn't have to stress about it.

    Quoting Lizardannie1966:

    Because while they all giggled with Mom, you're setting them up to eventually feel that they cannot come to you if they happen to like someone before that cut-off age group. Or find out that they may feel a certain way and will feel that they're going to upset you.

    Be careful when doing this sort of thing. You don't want to close communication channels with your kids by simply setting up rules like this. Instead, teach them to cope with the ridicule, speculations and assumptions of other kids.

    Setting up some sort of age barrier will not prevent them from feeling things for another kid before that minimum age.

    Quoting paganbaby:

    *Big smile*

    But why??

    Quoting Lizardannie1966:

    Pagan, I think you're adorable and ALWAYS look forward to your posts.

    But you might want to rethink this.





  • dustinsmom1
    October 3, 2012 at 12:06 PM

    eye rolling *sigh* you're right we are all wrong blah blah blah, continue to argue for the sake of arguing im done...have a great day.

    Quoting Lizardannie1966:

    @@ I'm sure her kids are doing great, too, hon. Nothing was said otherwise.

    Reading comprehension should NEVER be an option. Ever, at any time.

    There should be "no reason" why children should be thinking about boys or girls under the age of 13? Why is that? This doesn't mean that the parent allows the child to date under that age (my minimum is 16-years old). It's simply acknowledging and respecting on the part of the parent, that their little kid is a human being and has emotions and feelings for others and that it's perfectly natural and healthy.

    Closing the door to the child and saying, "no go," is also shutting the door to healthy, vital communication between parent and child.

    But again, as cutesy as you attempted in scolding me, I think Pagan's a great Mom. I'm simply speaking from the voice of being a parent for nearly 26 years and learning as I go along to not ignore those true human emotions a child feels nor dismiss them.

    Quoting dustinsmom1:

     I see nothing wrong w/agens post/ There is no reason children should be thinking about boys or girls or their "sexuality until they are a minimum of 13. This crap where people let 10 yr olds "date" is disgusting and setting up them for much more problems later on life. Pagan is suggesting they focus on friends, family, school work etc, rather then whos gay or straight or who "likes" who. I'm sure her kids are doing and will do just fine~! :)

    Quoting Lizardannie1966:

    Because while they all giggled with Mom, you're setting them up to eventually feel that they cannot come to you if they happen to like someone before that cut-off age group. Or find out that they may feel a certain way and will feel that they're going to upset you.

    Be careful when doing this sort of thing. You don't want to close communication channels with your kids by simply setting up rules like this. Instead, teach them to cope with the ridicule, speculations and assumptions of other kids.

    Setting up some sort of age barrier will not prevent them from feeling things for another kid before that minimum age.

    Quoting paganbaby:

    *Big smile*

    But why??

    Quoting Lizardannie1966:

    Pagan, I think you're adorable and ALWAYS look forward to your posts.

    But you might want to rethink this.



     


     

  • Lizardannie1966
    October 3, 2012 at 12:12 PM

    Because that's what I wrote. Yup. I declared myself the winner of smarts. Of wits. Of...of...of...well, hell, let's just call it what it is...I AM THE QUEEN OF ALL THINGS and will argue for shits and giggles.

    sticking out tonguedevilsarcasm

    Quoting dustinsmom1:

    eye rolling *sigh* you're right we are all wrong blah blah blah, continue to argue for the sake of arguing im done...have a great day.

    Quoting Lizardannie1966:

    @@ I'm sure her kids are doing great, too, hon. Nothing was said otherwise.

    Reading comprehension should NEVER be an option. Ever, at any time.

    There should be "no reason" why children should be thinking about boys or girls under the age of 13? Why is that? This doesn't mean that the parent allows the child to date under that age (my minimum is 16-years old). It's simply acknowledging and respecting on the part of the parent, that their little kid is a human being and has emotions and feelings for others and that it's perfectly natural and healthy.

    Closing the door to the child and saying, "no go," is also shutting the door to healthy, vital communication between parent and child.

    But again, as cutesy as you attempted in scolding me, I think Pagan's a great Mom. I'm simply speaking from the voice of being a parent for nearly 26 years and learning as I go along to not ignore those true human emotions a child feels nor dismiss them.

    Quoting dustinsmom1:

     I see nothing wrong w/agens post/ There is no reason children should be thinking about boys or girls or their "sexuality until they are a minimum of 13. This crap where people let 10 yr olds "date" is disgusting and setting up them for much more problems later on life. Pagan is suggesting they focus on friends, family, school work etc, rather then whos gay or straight or who "likes" who. I'm sure her kids are doing and will do just fine~! :)

    Quoting Lizardannie1966:

    Because while they all giggled with Mom, you're setting them up to eventually feel that they cannot come to you if they happen to like someone before that cut-off age group. Or find out that they may feel a certain way and will feel that they're going to upset you.

    Be careful when doing this sort of thing. You don't want to close communication channels with your kids by simply setting up rules like this. Instead, teach them to cope with the ridicule, speculations and assumptions of other kids.

    Setting up some sort of age barrier will not prevent them from feeling things for another kid before that minimum age.

    Quoting paganbaby:

    *Big smile*

    But why??

    Quoting Lizardannie1966:

    Pagan, I think you're adorable and ALWAYS look forward to your posts.

    But you might want to rethink this.



     


     


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