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catevincesmom
Dd's bus seat partner
August 29, 2013 at 8:03 PM

DD's seat partner on the bus has been takng things out of her bag, including snacks & food out of her lunch bag.  She's been taking things, & pretending to throw 'em out the window.  Yesterday, she even somehow took dd's socks & shoes off.  Dd says that when she tries to get her things back. seat partner hits her & pushes her away.  Seat partner has also pulled her hair.  The kids are in assigned seats, so I told dd to ask driver if she can sit in a different seat.  This is not the first time this has happened.  A different seat partner did similar things to her two years ago in 1st grade.  Anyway, both times, I emailed the principals & asked them to intervene.  They contacted the transportation dept.  I know the 1st principal talked to the partner, & dd switched seats.  I just emailed the 2d principal about this year this eve, but he said he wanted to talk to this year's seat partner-I imagine dd will switch seats again.  I don't have time in the am's to drive the kids to school or pick 'em up b/c of my work schedule, but I also don't want my kids to keep going through this.  I also don't wanna come across as a whiney, overreacting/overprotecting mom by constantly complaining to the principals about this. Am I overreacting? Any suggestions?

Replies

  • Knightquester
    August 29, 2013 at 8:37 PM

    Is there a way you can pay gas for another parent, reliable friend that has kids going to that school they drop off too, to commute your kids to/from school?  This doesn't sound like a situation that will resolve easily, it sounds like your daughter is a little more passive and so she's likely a target for bullies (which sadly I think there are just too many of them in schools now days).

  • catevincesmom
    August 29, 2013 at 8:41 PM

     

    That may be worth looking into, ty.  But @ this point, I can't think of anyone.  Those I know from the school, their kids ride the busses as well.  And I agree, she unfortunately is a walking target. . .:-(

    Quoting Knightquester:

    Is there a way you can pay gas for another parent, reliable friend that has kids going to that school they drop off too, to commute your kids to/from school?  This doesn't sound like a situation that will resolve easily, it sounds like your daughter is a little more passive and so she's likely a target for bullies (which sadly I think there are just too many of them in schools now days).


     

  • esox
    by esox
    August 29, 2013 at 9:14 PM
    Maybe get her involved in some type of martial arts or something like that to boost her confidence and ability to stick up for herself. They teach control so its unlikely to encourage her to use violence as a means to stand up to bullies.
    However if the kid was able to take your kids shoes and socks off, I would question if she was playing along or actually a victim.
  • .Peaches.
    August 29, 2013 at 9:27 PM

    You need to TELL, not ask, the bus driver that she needs a new seat and let her know what's going on. Also, call the bus transportation office and let file a complaint with them and tell them what's been going on.

    There's nothing else you can do except to file complaints. Let me ask you this- what type of personality does your DD have? Is she passive and quiet? Because kids are mean and usually target the kids they feel aren't going to put up a fight or stand up for themselves. My oldest DD is quiet, sweet, and sensitive. I had to teach her how to stand up for herself against other kids trying to push their limits with her.

  • catevincesmom
    August 29, 2013 at 9:29 PM

     

    passive & quiet describes dd to a T.  It's why so many ppl have asked how the shoes & socks came off-I don't think my dd would stand up against it. 

    Quoting .Peaches.:

    You need to TELL, not ask, the bus driver that she needs a new seat and let her know what's going on. Also, call the bus transportation office and let file a complaint with them and tell them what's been going on.

    There's nothing else you can do except to file complaints. Let me ask you this- what type of personality does your DD have? Is she passive and quiet? Because kids are mean and usually target the kids they feel aren't going to put up a fight or stand up for themselves. My oldest DD is quiet, sweet, and sensitive. I had to teach her how to stand up for herself against other kids trying to push their limits with her.


     

  • .Peaches.
    August 29, 2013 at 9:43 PM


    Quoting catevincesmom:


    passive & quiet describes dd to a T.  It's why so many ppl have asked how the shoes & socks came off-I don't think my dd would stand up against it. 

    Quoting .Peaches.:

    You need to TELL, not ask, the bus driver that she needs a new seat and let her know what's going on. Also, call the bus transportation office and let file a complaint with them and tell them what's been going on.

    There's nothing else you can do except to file complaints. Let me ask you this- what type of personality does your DD have? Is she passive and quiet? Because kids are mean and usually target the kids they feel aren't going to put up a fight or stand up for themselves. My oldest DD is quiet, sweet, and sensitive. I had to teach her how to stand up for herself against other kids trying to push their limits with her.



    Its difficult to teach passive children to stand up for themselves. Sometimes they feel mean doing it, sometimes they just don't feel like they'll be believed if they do (or that they'll get in trouble for it), and sometimes, they just don't want to, because its easier to just....not.

    My DD is sensitive, but not passive, and that was hard enough. BUT, she also has a 'I've had enough' button....and when she gets to that point, its on like popcorn lol.

    I was thinking....is there another bus that she can put on that's close to the current stop?

    If it was me, I would get on the bus when my daughter gets on and ask the little girl to stop because its mean. I know some parents aren't comfortable doing things like that (and that's ok), but I've dealt with tons of children over the years and sometimes they respond BETTER to another student's parent than they do someone they see day in and day out in authority (like a teach or principal).

  • catevincesmom
    August 29, 2013 at 9:49 PM
    Unfortunately, there's not another bus w/ a close route. We are smack dab in the middle of this route. And I know what you mean by parents talking to the other kid, but parents are not allowed on the busses here.
    Quoting .Peaches.:


    Quoting catevincesmom:


    passive & quiet describes dd to a T.  It's why so many ppl have asked how the shoes & socks came off-I don't think my dd would stand up against it. 

    Quoting .Peaches.:

    You need to TELL, not ask, the bus driver that she needs a new seat and let her know what's going on. Also, call the bus transportation office and let file a complaint with them and tell them what's been going on.

    There's nothing else you can do except to file complaints. Let me ask you this- what type of personality does your DD have? Is she passive and quiet? Because kids are mean and usually target the kids they feel aren't going to put up a fight or stand up for themselves. My oldest DD is quiet, sweet, and sensitive. I had to teach her how to stand up for herself against other kids trying to push their limits with her.



    Its difficult to teach passive children to stand up for themselves. Sometimes they feel mean doing it, sometimes they just don't feel like they'll be believed if they do (or that they'll get in trouble for it), and sometimes, they just don't want to, because its easier to just....not.

    My DD is sensitive, but not passive, and that was hard enough. BUT, she also has a 'I've had enough' button....and when she gets to that point, its on like popcorn lol.

    I was thinking....is there another bus that she can put on that's close to the current stop?

    If it was me, I would get on the bus when my daughter gets on and ask the little girl to stop because its mean. I know some parents aren't comfortable doing things like that (and that's ok), but I've dealt with tons of children over the years and sometimes they respond BETTER to another student's parent than they do someone they see day in and day out in authority (like a teach or principal).


  • Knightquester
    August 29, 2013 at 10:13 PM

    Another thought is to call local home daycares in the area of the school and see if they would pick up and drop off your kids to/from school for a monthly gas fee.  I know a daycare provider that did that.

    Quoting catevincesmom:


    That may be worth looking into, ty.  But @ this point, I can't think of anyone.  Those I know from the school, their kids ride the busses as well.  And I agree, she unfortunately is a walking target. . .:-(

    Quoting Knightquester:

    Is there a way you can pay gas for another parent, reliable friend that has kids going to that school they drop off too, to commute your kids to/from school?  This doesn't sound like a situation that will resolve easily, it sounds like your daughter is a little more passive and so she's likely a target for bullies (which sadly I think there are just too many of them in schools now days).





  • PinkButterfly66
    August 29, 2013 at 10:17 PM

    Nope.  And from where I'm sitting, I want to slap that brat silly. Is this brat in the same grade with your daughter?

  • catevincesmom
    August 29, 2013 at 10:45 PM

     

    same grade, different classrooms.

    Quoting PinkButterfly66:

    Nope.  And from where I'm sitting, I want to slap that brat silly. Is this brat in the same grade with your daughter?


     

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