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anotherandree
I just called the police on a neighborhood kid...
February 19, 2013 at 3:33 PM

for bullying.  We moved into a super quiet neighborhood about 2 years ago.  Last year, a family moved in with an 8 year old daughter that is full of drama, but we could handle that.  Then about 6 months ago, a family moved in that has a 9 year old boy (and some other kids).  This 9 year old boy went through a very traumatic experience not too long ago in that his father was killed in a motorcycle accident with this boy on the back who, obviously survived.  This is important because everytime we try and talk to mom about this kid's behavior we get "he's gone through alot recently and has anger issues." 

He calls my daughter terrible names.  He beat up a neighborhood child.  He won't let the other kids play in the 2 grassy fields or on the sidewalks (claiming that they are his).  He is becoming sexually aggressive with his 8 yr old "girlfriend" (another neighborhood child with severely lacking parental supervision).  He rarely goes to school and when we asked his mother about that one she said that she does not make him go on days he does not feel like it "because of his trauma."  I understand that he went through something TERRIBLE recently, but that is no excuse to let him bully others.  Myself and 2 other neighborhood mothers have tried to talk to his mother.  We have tried to talk to the child.  We have tried to talk to the child with his mother.  I feel terrible that it came to this.  He is only 9 years old.

Replies

  • SallyB_LMT
    February 19, 2013 at 3:37 PM

    What was he doing that you called the police for?  I mean specifically?  I understand needing someone other than the obviously greiving mother to do something for him.  He sounds like he really needs some psychiatric help to deal with the trauma and to support him mentally and emotionally.

  • TTC2Long
    February 19, 2013 at 3:44 PM
    Poor kid. Mom's not doing him any favors by making excuses. He needs counseling, like 3x/week for now.
  • Looneyfarmmom
    February 19, 2013 at 3:44 PM

    Physical abuse is enough to call the cops. Some of the schools will call the cops if your child physically harms another child in continual bullying. If the school has talked to the student multiple times and it turns out that they keep getting worse they will call the cops on the child even if they are in elementary school. Unfortunately they don't do that here in my area. We have had the cops called on a few kids here because their bullying became down right dangerous to the other kids. 

  • anotherandree
    February 19, 2013 at 4:13 PM

    His mother and the father had divorced when he was very young.

    I called the cops because he was calling my daughter constant names (fatty, retard, stupid) whenever she stepped foot outside the door.  He threatened my youngest (who is 5) to beat him up on more than on occasion.  He threatens to beat up my daughter and her friend (her mother was with me when I spoke with the police) if they "don't leave his grassy area and get off his sidewalk."  He basically chases them around all evening after school and on the weekends telling them they cannot play because he is there until they are forced to go inside.

    Quoting SallyB_LMT:

    What was he doing that you called the police for?  I mean specifically?  I understand needing someone other than the obviously greiving mother to do something for him.  He sounds like he really needs some psychiatric help to deal with the trauma and to support him mentally and emotionally.


  • anotherandree
    February 19, 2013 at 4:15 PM

    We did not even try the school because of the 4 families involved, all the kids go to 4 different schools.

    Quoting Looneyfarmmom:

    Physical abuse is enough to call the cops. Some of the schools will call the cops if your child physically harms another child in continual bullying. If the school has talked to the student multiple times and it turns out that they keep getting worse they will call the cops on the child even if they are in elementary school. Unfortunately they don't do that here in my area. We have had the cops called on a few kids here because their bullying became down right dangerous to the other kids. 


  • Looneyfarmmom
    February 19, 2013 at 4:16 PM

    I am just saying that it isn't unheard of when it comes to the police being called for Bullying. They do it in some of our schools here and I have seen it done in our neighborhoods. Idaho decided to take on a zero tolerance for abuse of any sort including bullying. 


    Quoting anotherandree:

    We did not even try the school because of the 4 families involved, all the kids go to 4 different schools.

    Quoting Looneyfarmmom:

    Physical abuse is enough to call the cops. Some of the schools will call the cops if your child physically harms another child in continual bullying. If the school has talked to the student multiple times and it turns out that they keep getting worse they will call the cops on the child even if they are in elementary school. Unfortunately they don't do that here in my area. We have had the cops called on a few kids here because their bullying became down right dangerous to the other kids. 




  • anotherandree
    February 19, 2013 at 4:17 PM

    One of the many times we talked to his mother when we were having a problem, I brought up therapy.  He is seeing a therapist...who is mom's best friend.  I cannot tell you how many ethical codes that is breaking.  There should be no outside relationships for a minimum of two years after the finality of the therapeutic relationship.  

    Quoting TTC2Long:

    Poor kid. Mom's not doing him any favors by making excuses. He needs counseling, like 3x/week for now.


  • anotherandree
    February 19, 2013 at 4:20 PM

    Oh, I see what you are saying!  This guy seemed no nonsense about the bullying.  It could be he had kids or it could be his job.  I would like to think it was a little bit of both!  I would love it every state was zero tolerance.

    Quoting Looneyfarmmom:

    I am just saying that it isn't unheard of when it comes to the police being called for Bullying. They do it in some of our schools here and I have seen it done in our neighborhoods. Idaho decided to take on a zero tolerance for abuse of any sort including bullying. 


    Quoting anotherandree:

    We did not even try the school because of the 4 families involved, all the kids go to 4 different schools.

    Quoting Looneyfarmmom:

    Physical abuse is enough to call the cops. Some of the schools will call the cops if your child physically harms another child in continual bullying. If the school has talked to the student multiple times and it turns out that they keep getting worse they will call the cops on the child even if they are in elementary school. Unfortunately they don't do that here in my area. We have had the cops called on a few kids here because their bullying became down right dangerous to the other kids. 





  • Jinxed8
    by Jinxed8
    February 19, 2013 at 4:22 PM

    well if anything you did good, if he's acting like this at 9 it can only get worst from here.  I'm hoping the cops do something about it - a social worker needs to be involved here if the mom lacks interest and supervision of this boy.  Girl, we do what we have to,  to protect our children. 

    Last week I had to talk to the bus driver because some little prick was bullying my daughter I warned the bus driver that next time it happened I'd hop on the bus myself. it stopped.

  • SallyB_LMT
    February 19, 2013 at 4:25 PM

    I see you've spoken with his mother.  Do you know if he's in any sort of therapy?  It really is her responsibility to make sure he isn't a holy terror, now that his dad isn't there to do it.  If she's not sending him to school and she's not supervising him, those are both neglect and you could call child protective services.  I know he's been through a very traumatic event, however I agree that your children shouldn't be harassed or bullied because of it.  If she isn't taking care of him and he's acting out violently then there needs to be a change for both of them.  Maybe having someone come out and talk to her would help, maybe she just needs a wake-up call. 

    I am sure having him full-time (assuming there was some sort of visitation arrangement with the father) is an adjustment for her as well.  Have you talked to him about being kind to your kids?  I know some children need an adult to step in and just tell them that the way they are acting is unacceptable and they will knock it off, some need more than that and perhaps the police can do that by talking to him.  He sounds like he's really going through a rough patch and his mom is doing him a disservice by making excuses instead of stepping it up as a parent with the boundaries.

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