I just needed to get all of this out of my head, and figured here would be the best place. So here's the scoop. Last year, when DH and myself and some friends went on our annual ski trip, my grandmother passed away while we were gone. I had that awful feeling that that was going to happen before we even left, and I was right. And today, we are leaving to go on our ski trip for this year, and my stomach is in knots, I'm nausiated, worried that something bad will happen again (to the kids, to my parents), I just wanna cry!
Am I going crazy? Or is this normal because of what happened during last years trip? I felt so anxious this morning, I took 1/2 of one of my anxiety pills and don't feel any better. Any advice on how to pull myself up out of this slump?
No idea ... I think it's somewhat normal that you think something will go wrong while you're gone based on past experience. I always worry about my dogs when I'm gone. The first time, I cried until I got to the airport and then I called 3 times at the kennel, as time went on and I had to do it on a regular basis I learned to feel comfortable with it.
There are places I can't go without worrying or remembering something upsetting from the past. It will feel better over time...but you might always get knots when doing the same thing as before. BUT you can't let knots and fear control you - you have to force yourself to live in the here-and-now, not in the past.
I think it can be normal considering. I think we all have things, times or place the trigger that kind of reaction based on past events.
I hate Christmas time. Every year something happens in our family around Christmas. Examples, sister 6months old twins went in the hospital for croup while visiting us, my brother shot himself in the hand (long story), my ds2 at 5months old got pneumonia. These all happened over the past 6 years. I know hold my breath all through the holidays.
You're fine, you really are. It sounds to me like simple "negative association." Negative association can be so powerful that it is the key element in aversion therapy. Now... if flicking a rubber band on your wrist can help you quit smoking, imagine how much more affected you would be by a death in this context. Positive association can be powerful too, and once you are able to infuse fun times and good memories back into this annual trip, you will see your anxieties begin to retreat. Stay happy, stay positive and it will all be ok. I promise.