30 Something Moms

Dekotasmama
do you leave your kids
January 1, 2013 at 2:32 PM
I'm a stay at home mom of 3. 2 of them go to school. My hubby to be just had to tell our friend that we never go out. That I dint leave my kids. I let it go even though I felt that it wasn't the place or time to say that. So latter he takes a shower and I go in to talk to him and he makes sure to let me know that he thinks I should leave them to go out and do things with him. He knows I dont trust any one with my kids. I did at one time but since moving to ca 6 years ago I don't. Are there any body that feel the same or am I just being over protective of my kids

Replies

  • sthflachk
    January 1, 2013 at 2:34 PM
    I know that if you don't spend time with your SO when he is asking you to it could cause big problems. Find a sitter and go out and remember what its like to have a life outside of your home.
  • Dabberdoo
    January 1, 2013 at 3:01 PM
    You need to find someone somehow. You need to find a way to be alone with him.
  • story0702
    January 1, 2013 at 3:03 PM
    I always found it very hard to leave my children too. Especially after our daughter passed away. But honestly they need it too or preschool and kindergarten are going to not only be hard for you but terrifying for them. And as another mon said your SO will become fed up with not getting to spend time with you. Not to mention all moms need a little time to get refreshed . Maybe start out with very short periods of time. A monthly dinner date with SO at a near by place. Work up to being comfortable turning that monthly date dinner to a monthly date night . SO will be much happier, you will come home refreshed , and the kids will look forward to a few hours with their favorite sitter. Maybe ask friends for recommendations for a sitter. I know it's all easier said than done but in long run I think you will all be very happy. You sound like a very loving mama:)
  • lindsay122001
    January 1, 2013 at 3:03 PM
    You haven't made any friends that you would trust your children with?
  • hollydaze1974
    January 1, 2013 at 3:10 PM
    He's right. Many marriages crumble when a wife, first, doting mothet second does not find SOMEWAY to spend time away from the children to be with her husband... No, another person will not do everything exacu your way, bur not every person in the entire world is out to hurt your chdten, either. Try care.com for "vetted" sitters.
    Your husband spoke openly about his frustration because apparently it's a big deal to him.
    If you want to lose the woman he fell in love with, you are well on your way.
  • Dekotasmama
    January 1, 2013 at 3:15 PM
    I did but she moved to a different state but other then her no

    Quoting lindsay122001:

    You haven't made any friends that you would trust your children with?
  • annelauer
    January 1, 2013 at 3:16 PM
    No, I do not leave our kids. I agree it's a strain on a relationship. I never have though.
  • chinosruca
    January 1, 2013 at 3:19 PM
    If you don't put effort into your marriage then don't be suprised if your husbands puts effort into someone else. Find someone, get references if you must. Obviously your husband wants a wife, not just a mother to his kids.
  • LaughingTattoo
    January 1, 2013 at 3:43 PM

    I always put my kids first. That said....I would NEVER treat my husband as if he wasnt important enough to spend time alone with. I will always have a trusted person avail to babysit at least once or twice a month.

    Not doing this is a sure path to divorce

  • almondpigeon
    January 1, 2013 at 3:45 PM

    I very rarely leave mine either.  Not because I don't trust anyone with them, but because I can't find anyone willing to watch all 5!  We make a point to get a sitter for our birthdays & anniversaries.  Other than that, we spend time together once the kids go to bed.

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