I'm just trying to figure out why I get so grouchy about it. I've just had our third child. Dh has been great. He's been buying groceries and cooking supper. when I first got home he told ds, who is 16 to make sure I don't do any work and they tried to clean it before I got home from the hospital.I appreciate that they thought to do that. I was a bit surprised and really happy. yay! just focus on baby and spending time with dh and the kids. Of course I hadn't taken into account that the mess don't bother them. Even the gross things that need to be done. I end up doing the cleaning in between marathon breast feeding sessions (our new little man wants to nurse non stop it seems, the minute I pull him off the breast he wails. i've become his pacifier,lol. so its hard to get much done and my mood gets in the dumps....hormones maybe) Anyway, I love that dh is there helping out so much but man the mess that accumulates. He changes the diapers but leaves them layng in the floor. cooks breakfast but the dishes, food and garbage sits on the counter all day, ds and dd, make there messes all over the house and then when i am finally able to get to cleaning, I'm so grouchy about it because all I want is a shower but instead I'm cleaning up stuff that has accumulated because no one picks up behind themselves. Then I feel bad for being such a grouch over it because dh has been so sweet to me, helping with the baby and what not. he even bought my fav. chocolates and some chai latte coffee to go with it just to do something nice for me. they just simply don't see the nastiness i guess. i have to ask myself why a messy house bothers me so much. i feel so uneasy in it. u can't find what u need and i like to have dishes in the cabinets when i want a drink or something i suppose. not to mention, dirty diapers and yesterdays meals sitting on the counter, garbage cans over full is a bit on the too nasty sidefor me. that goes beyond just clutter. dh is a clutter bug too but i can deal with that...kind of,lol. I'm the opposite. I love my countertops cleared off. would u be bothered by that kind of mess or do i need to take a chill pill and realize i just had a baby, am nursing around the clock an just let the mess go. asking dh to do it seems to make him feel like i don't appreciate what he is already doing. he's on leave from work so its not like he's going to work, then coming home and doing the home stuff. i don't mind cleaning but doing the cleaning in between the breastfeeding while dh still has hours on the comp. has kind of turned into a dissappointment. I really thought I was going to have some house help. Maybe I'm being ungrateful. Hopefully not. I need to figure out why I get so ticked off over darn housework.
It's completely normal for you to be annoyed! Don't feel guilty. Just say, DH, I really need to take a shower, but this mess is getting to me and I can't let it go. I know you have been doing so much, but could you be a dear and clean up a bit while I shower?"
I hate a dirty house. But, there's almost always a mess somewhere so I cope ;). It's soooo different with a newborn. It's exhausting work nursing all day. And most men have no eye for details. Remember how short this phase really is, even if it doesn't feel that way now. Try to go with the flow & know you aren't going to end up on hoarders. It will get done eventually. Love & luck!!