October 9, 2012 at 2:53 PM
Wasting time looking back, honey...Life rarely happens they we have planned or even hoped. Appreciate the blessings of today and only look ahead for a brighter future. I can't imagine regrettable my husband or my kids, even though our "life" is pretty shitty right now. They are NOT was is wrong or what I would regret and in that respect, I feel sorry for you because that must be hard to deal with as a mother.
October 9, 2012 at 2:55 PM
I have 4 daughters and 1 son and another baby on the way (that in all reality is probably another girl) lol. I have had moments in time where I question, "why didn't we stop at 2, or 3 or heck even 4"? I mean all the drama and emotion floating around our house could drive anybody insane. :) But even with doubt (never regret) I just push forward and learn from the experiences. Even though I question our decisions sometimes, I could not imagine my life without each and every one of my children. I mean, they all bring something different to my life and they fill me with so much love. Is it hard? of course it is. If I had stopped at 2, or 3 or whatever I'm sure I would have felt something missing. I really feel I waas meant to have these kids. My only advice is to never regret your decision to have 4 kids, just push forward and learn and love from your experiences. Is it hard? Yes, it can be, but people who only have 2 have hard times as well.
I know how you feel. My husband and I didn't plan on having kids at all. I don't like kids much and I didn't want any responsibility.
But God had other plans and gave us two. I love them dearly but I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I hadn't had them. On the other hand my SIL (DH's sister) would love kids and can't have any. I feel like they were given to the wrong person sometimes. She's patient and kind, I'm impatient and grumpy. They are better off financially then we are and while I'm happy for her, sometimes it sucks to watch them go off for weekends away 4 or 5 times a year while we are struggling to pay our electric bill. But that's the hand we were dealt so we deal with it.
You know my ex & I planned to have a large family. When we got married I had a son from a failed relationship. He was 3 at that time & we really wanted to add to the family. We ended up having 3more kids within a period of 4 years. We then separated when the youngest was 2. For a few years we tried to make things work (or so I thought) & in 2008 I got pregnant with our now 3 year old. At that time we were not in a very good place in our relationship & he wanted me to get an abortion. In hindsight I realize that he had probably already started having an affair with a much younger co-worker (he will be 38 in December & she will be 21 in December). My getting pregnant proved to her (OW) that we were still together & he had lied to her (he told her we were already divorced).
Now I look back & think had I not been stupid & gotten pregnant maybe our marriage would have ended sooner & not because of an affair? But then again I wouldn't have my beautiful baby boy! And I can not imagine my life without him! Yes, I am on government assistance for childcare & health care (although they do have their dad's insurance as well). And yes, my parents bought me a house because my ex lost the one he had bought me & the kids when we 1st separated. And yes, I am struggling big time because I make less than $10 an hour & can not afford gorceries at times (trying to not go back on food stamps but it looks like I might have to). But I keep my head up & my heart strong & praise God for giving me what I do have.
Yes, my life is crazy but I wouldn't have it any other way!
I know exactly how you feel. We have 4 kids as well (dd,ds,dd,dd). There are days when they are all at each other and driving me crazy, or the bills are coming due and I see the checking account being drained. Those are the days that I think wtf did we do?! Why didn't we stop at 2? However, our family didn't feel complete with only two, or even three. I couldn't and wouldn't give any of them up. Like other posters have said...I'll take the crazy and enjoy who they are and the joy they all bring to this family.
by grplovesjlpOctober 10, 2012 at 9:57 AM
well you cant do anything about it now can you? What you gonna do give two away so that you have only 2? If you wanted two then you should have stopped at two...... GEESH
I have three and yes life is hard at times, we barely make it sometimes living paycheck to paycheck but I couldnt imagine life without any one of my babies they are so diffferent and special in their own ways...
by k_hall1784October 10, 2012 at 10:00 AM
Well if you only wanted two, you should have stepped up the bc to a tubal after the second was born.
by mysono1October 10, 2012 at 10:04 AMOh! Thank you everybody.I didn't know my post will generate such wonderful advice from mothers. Oh thanks so much. I really apPreciate all you have said. I love you all.am strengthened and happy.