40ish and beyond...

Jebekarue
How do you let go???
January 26, 2013 at 12:39 AM

How do you let go, when they are old enough to drive.  To let go and let them get their license and let them drive without you there with them.  One of my sons former classmates was killed in a motorcycle accident this afternoon.  He was 19 years old, it was his fault he pulled out in front of an SUV on a beautiful day.  I am sooo scared to let him drive alone, to drive at all for that matter. 

I know I have to believe that my dh and I taught him the rules of the road, to be careful, to trust that we taught him everything he needs to know.  I have to trust that the DL office people know what they are doing and not going to just give someone a license if they didn't pass or not fudge a score because they know someone.  

3 times in the last week I have been stopped at a stop sign waiting to make a right turn from a side street and 3 times I have had stupid teenage girls cut to my left into the oncoming traffic lane, impatient with me for waiting for it to clear.  How in the hell do they think they can make a left turn if I can't even make a right turn!!!! 

I am still scared to death to let go!!! 

Replies

  • jett286
    by jett286
    January 26, 2013 at 12:51 AM

    I'm not sure how to answer. I know with my youngest (who has been driving since December 11th.) ~ I just had to hold my breath and keep busy.  It's a bit easier with each time he goes out..  We are looking to buy him a car, he was driving our old truck which we just sold.  I still have him call/text me to let me know he made it to his destination and when he's headed home.  I keep my cell phone on loud when he leaves for school, incase he may need me....That's how I cope, I'm not sure how anyone else does it.

  • Ziva65
    by Ziva65
    January 26, 2013 at 2:26 AM
    My son just got his license a few weeks ago. He's been doing great, and is responsible.





    We drove with him a lot, he has a lot of restrictions as well. We can track him with the iPhone if needed. We bought a big old safe truck, with the thought being he'd win if there were an accident.





    That said, there's always a risk, with anything. A motorcycle is really risky, and kids make stupid choices at times. Kids need to learn their limits and we need to teach them. Hubby and I don't take unnecessary risk either. If I didn't feel my son was ready, he wouldn't be out there.





    He is very mature, and amazingly grown up. I see what parents mean when they say their kids are ready for college.. they are spreading their wings and becoming adults.





    Driving wasn't too bad if a transition...I'm certain though that I'll lose it when he goes to college!
  • Ziva65
    by Ziva65
    January 26, 2013 at 2:28 AM
    I had my son text me too the first few days when he got to school :) we do have to always know where he is, just the rule- plus several others.


    Quoting jett286:

    I'm not sure how to answer. I know with my youngest (who has been driving since December 11th.) ~ I just had to hold my breath and keep busy.  It's a bit easier with each time he goes out..  We are looking to buy him a car, he was driving our old truck which we just sold.  I still have him call/text me to let me know he made it to his destination and when he's headed home.  I keep my cell phone on loud when he leaves for school, incase he may need me....That's how I cope, I'm not sure how anyone else does it.


  • starlight1968
    January 26, 2013 at 5:51 AM

     HUGS.. Maybe if you let him drive you a few places, stay calm while he's driving-just make conversation to help him remain calm and see how he drives..it may help to calm you when he's on his own.

  • MomTiara19
    January 26, 2013 at 6:18 AM

    This scares me too.

    I have to trust Gods plan,pray for my kids protection,and know that everyday alive we have is a blessing.

  • dana63
    by dana63
    January 26, 2013 at 6:28 AM
    When my boys were 17 they answered a fire call to a accident. It was one of their best friends. He died in my sons arms and it always scared me too. I had to think they would make right choices and they have so far. They are now 29 and I can't drive behind them with that plastic bubble wrap (don't think I haven't thought about it).
    I know it's hard and I still get scared but know your child will be a great driver because you taught him well. Hugs
  • jmlmomma
    January 26, 2013 at 7:33 AM


    This is written by a mom who does not have a son. I know it's a different playing field then raising a daughter...HUGS.

    First step is knowing IF they are ready by asking yourself these questions.

    1. does he feel comfortable driving or is he nervous?

    2. Is he responsible in other ways, Example: gets up on his own and not late for appointments or school?

    3. Does he respect your rules and the laws of the land?

    Then you just have to set rules and trust that he is able to handle the road. Sometimes things happen out of our control but his chances will be better if he is ready... Hugs...


    My daughter is 24, married and still calls when they are traveling somewhere out of town to let me know they got there. Not because I still tell her to but because she want to let me know. :o). We live very close to Orlando and she has driven all over Orlando. on a side note: She was not ready to drive until she was 18. She took her time driving us around she just wasn't ready to drive by herself.

    Edited to add this:

    I do have a SON in law and let me tell you I put my finger in his face when they started to date and warned him not to take risks driving while my daughter was in the car with him. HAHA he still married her.

  • coolmommy2x
    January 26, 2013 at 7:37 AM
    This. My oldest is only 12 but when I'm driving and another driver does something stupid, I explain to the kids what the other person did that wrong/stupid/unsafe and why it's dangerous. I can hope it sinks in.

    Quoting starlight1968:

     HUGS.. Maybe if you let him drive you a few places, stay calm while he's driving-just make conversation to help him remain calm and see how he drives..it may help to calm you when he's on his own.

  • crazymom729
    January 26, 2013 at 7:39 AM
    I know it's tough I have a 20 year old that's been driving since 17 and an 18 year old who is in no hurry and that's fine with me. You can't think that other kids driving skills or lack there of will be the same as your sons. Have a little faith that he will be a responsible driver. ((Hugs))
  • cjcharlie1959
    January 26, 2013 at 7:41 AM

     I have 3 right in a row.  My oldest was the hardest but out of my own necessity it was easier because I had trust in her.  My youngest was a very defensive driver and did very well.  My son (middle) was the hardest and eventually gave up driving all together after a couple of accidents.  You got to have faith, you can shield them forever and the harder you hang on, the more they resent it.

40ish and beyond...

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