Moms with Adult Kids

RINKADINK2257
THIS YEAR:ALONE FOR THANKSGIVING
November 18, 2013 at 10:28 AM

        This year i 'm going to be alone for THANKSGIVNG. It's not my choice or decision but it is what it is! My daughter will be spending  Thanksgiving with her boyfriend's family this year. I will be cooking and being alone. I earned it! MY FRIENDS ARE CONCERNED! They shouldn't be. I could get upset or accept it. I  understand that she is grown now. This time of year is about family and friends. My dad ahs been dead for 6 years. My dad loved the holiday season CHRISTMAS being his favorite time of the year.I've bee n forced to have THANKSGIVING ALONE this year.  I'm cooking all my fav foods .No TURKEY. If they change their minds they can't come because i cooked my fav foods not hers and not  to sound selfish but not so he can come through and eat.  I  could see if she came by bought a turkey and we cooked food for them SHE COULD TAKE IT HOME WITH HER and that would've been fine! So i'm dealing with a lot and i'll be okay. My dauhgter turned 22 last  month and i have bben a spiritual mother to her friends and my ex s.o will be out of my life . I  have to get used to being single and doing things by myself. I  have  no grandchildren yet. Time to embrace being happy. I MAY GET LONELY BUT I CAN COME ON CAFEMOM to  talk and connect.HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! God bless all of you!

Replies

  • Why123
    by Why123
    November 18, 2013 at 10:32 AM

    I have had Thanksgiving alone before.  It really is no big deal.  I expect to be alone this year too.

  • mac1940
    by mac1940
    November 18, 2013 at 11:48 AM

    You will only be lonely if you want to.  Thanksgiving is a day for being thankful for what we have and what is good in our life.  Do what you say and cook your favorite things, relax and read or watch your favorite television programs, do something creative or artsy crafty.  You might want to asj your dd and her bf to drop by later for  a piece of pie.  Or you can pick anpther day for you and them to have dinner together.  Last year my ddd and her family couldn't be with us on Thanksgiving day, so we simply had our feast with them on Friday.  I hope you have a good Thanksgiving.

  • KittyGram
    November 18, 2013 at 11:57 AM

    I haven't spent Thanksgiving alone, but I may as well have spent one Christmas alone.  It was when my daughter was 19, and things were not good between us.  She still lived at home, but I'd told her in November that year that she had to move out by the end of January (I didn't want to "ruin" the holidays by making her go sooner, but it did make for an awful holiday season where she and I were concerned).  Looking back on it, it would have been much better had I told her she needed to go immediately.


    She's now 11 years older than she was then, married, with 3 kids, doing wonderfully.  These days, there are many holidays (like 4th of July, etc) that I like to spend alone.  I've heard people express concern for me, but I like peace and quiet sometimes!!! 

    I've been an empty nester for 5 years (long story for another day, but in short, she moved back home when pregnant with daughter #1, and then both daughters lived with me, without her, for 2 1/2 years - went back to her care just over 5 years ago), and it was an adjustment, but I really do like the single life.  I'm not very social, but I like being responsible for me and my cat, and no one else most days! 

    If you need to keep yourself busy to adjust to empty nest-hood, take a college class, or pick up a new hobby, or join a local health club, or a singles club, and have some fun!  Those things will definitely help you to adjust, and you're sure to make some new friends in the process!  Best wishes, and ((Hugs)) to you!!!

  • suzeebloch
    November 18, 2013 at 12:05 PM

    I haven't had to spend Thanksgiving alone yet, either.  However, I have been "alone" and "solo" since my youngest moved out of state summer 2008.  My parents still live in town so major holidays I spend with them, and my son and daughter come to spend the day with us at Christmas. 

    But hey, Welcome and Embrace your soloness!  As one mom replied, invite your DD and her BF to pie after they are finished at his parent's place.  It is pretty common to have to "split" the holiday times with other families once we have 'significant other' in our lives.  I mean, it happened to me, too!  When I was married, we'd go to his mom's for Christmas Eve, and to my folks for Christmas Day.   On Thanksgiving, my parents would serve up Turkey promptly at noon; and his mom preferred to have Thanksgiving closer to supper time.  So that all worked out pretty well, thank goodness.

    But, your post sounds like your feelings are hurt about this, and I'm sorry.  Do see if you can encorporate your daughter into the Thanksgiving spirit ... maybe  take her shopping on Black Friday?  

  • louannwilkins
    November 18, 2013 at 1:02 PM

    I think I would check with other family members if there are any close by or friends and ask what their plans were.  Maybe you could get together with friends etc...If not..heck sit back and eat and snuggle up and watch movies or read a book.  MAKE it be a good day.   :)

  • campingmomof4
    November 18, 2013 at 1:15 PM

     I am not cooking this year like I have the last 12 yrs.  My husband passed away earlier this year.  I have decided not to cook Thanksgiving dinner anymore.  My sister will do it this year. 

  • weakestchimp
    November 18, 2013 at 1:39 PM
    i understand this battle in the mind.
    the aloneness
    i think of you
  • KittyGram
    November 18, 2013 at 2:43 PM


    Quoting campingmomof4:

     I am not cooking this year like I have the last 12 yrs.  My husband passed away earlier this year.  I have decided not to cook Thanksgiving dinner anymore.  My sister will do it this year. 

    I'm sorry for your loss.  I'm sure this is a very tough time of year.  You're in my thoughts.  ((Hugs))

  • campingmomof4
    November 18, 2013 at 3:08 PM

     

    Quoting KittyGram:


    Quoting campingmomof4:

     I am not cooking this year like I have the last 12 yrs.  My husband passed away earlier this year.  I have decided not to cook Thanksgiving dinner anymore.  My sister will do it this year. 

    I'm sorry for your loss.  I'm sure this is a very tough time of year.  You're in my thoughts.  ((Hugs))

     Thank you.

  • DesignGirl450
    November 18, 2013 at 6:21 PM

    The only holiday I can remember spending completely alone were a few New Years Eves.  That is such a party night, a couples night, and I had no boyfriend, or had broken up with one, which was bad, and my friends were not living near me any more.  I went to bed early, and wanted to be asleep by midnight so I didn't have to hear people celebrating.  I could hardly wait for Jan 1, to start a new year and a new beginning.   Boy, do I sound like I was wallowing.  

Moms with Adult Kids