Moms with Adult Kids

Up and down
January 21, 2013 at 10:56 PM

So, over the holiday, our girl was home for three weeks or more. She finally seemed more herself, almost back to normal. Her brain got back and being ADHD she began arguing a great deal about anything and everything which is the her we know. We were happy though it's frustrating too. At least we know her as a capable fighter instead of a person who gives up, and isn't capable at all.

I think she had been through so much with illness and world view changes and giving up certain goals and dreams that it just took time to get better. I also think being home helped her regulate her habits, behaviors and take her meds, though there were still days or parts of days she forgot and I didn't check. Honestly, I don't think anyone should have to check.

Another change that was good was that all of a sudden she told me she could tell she felt better, was more functional and did better when she took her meds. She has often hated taking them. She has even thrown up because she worked herself up over it before. I told her, if you had a heart disease you'd take meds for that and not fuss about it, why not this? She has often had a hard time, telling if the meds were helping or not. She has a hard time telling how things make her feel and with memory sometimes. So I was happy to see her finally come around on this.

She began the semester happy to get back to her apartment and to college. Yay! Second day of classes she didn't make it because her phone charger died and therefore her phone alarm didn't go off. I was upset about it but told her not to let this be a marker about how her semester would go. I do wonder why chargers of any kind "die" on her so often. It's really strange. The other three of us don't have those problems. It has to be related to ADHD and not being careful with things.

So the third day was a snow day.

I took her back to her apartment yesterday. She played a role playing game with her friends until 3 a.m. Sunday night / Monday morning. Today she "didn't feel right" and felt like "she needed to come home for a few hours." So we did that, even ate out because she thought that would help. I take her back to her apartment this evening and she breaks down and says, she needs to come home and have me drive her to class in the morning. *sigh*

I've checked her pill box. She's taken them.

She claims nothing has happened or upset her.

She claims she hasn't been doing any non prescription drugs or alcohol but this is scary and disheartening.

Hopefully she catches up on her sleep tonight and is all better the rest of the week. I'm so tired of her clinging to me and needing something else we can't figure out at all.

Tomorrow is a new day and now, an earlier day. I hope it's sunshine for her and for me!


  • Bleacheddecay
    January 23, 2013 at 1:10 PM

    I will say that friends of mine that have ADHD kids often describe them as constantly arguing about anything and nothing too. Also very into the "you don't understand or listen" thing.

    I do know some ADHD people that don't do that. At least at work when I see them.

    Quoting LadySaphira:

    That explains things a bit more...I hope she  finds her way soon and that you can coninue to be strong for her untill then.

    Quoting Bleacheddecay:

    She also has PTSD, anxiety and depression. She was last evaluated four years ago. She sees her doctors and therapist often.

    Quoting LadySaphira:

    It sounds like she has a lot more than ADHD going on to me. I have it and although I realize no two people are the same, talking back and her other actions do not soudn like ADHD to me. When has she been evaluated last? She could have other issues that have not been found yet or she could just be emotionaly immature.

  • Bleacheddecay
    January 23, 2013 at 1:12 PM

    My fingers are crossed but so far, after a good night's sleep she is doing well.

    I may have already said this but I think one or two things might have contributed. After a very rough mental and physical crisis year, I suspect she may not have perspective right now. You know how small kids think every boo boo is the end of the world? I think she has to rebuild perspective.

    Also I think the social dynamics of her gaming group is really bothering her more than she realises. The writing is on the wall that she will eventually have to leave that group but she doesn't want to. I'm not sure she has processed that at all.

  • smile357
    January 23, 2013 at 1:26 PM

    I know with that combonation of things life gets pretty rough. She definatley has to rebuild perspective. She also needs to learn what her triggeres are for things. How to make sure she gets enough sleep and so on. I don't have PTSD but i am bipolar and adhd. I'm more on the depressive side. I'm 42 and it's taken me a long time to understand how to construct my life so I don't digger. 

    I give you lots of credit for what you do and I know it can be exausting.

  • Bleacheddecay
    January 23, 2013 at 3:33 PM

    And . . . She called. Again. Having a hard time again. Wanted to come home. Again. Guess I'll be getting up early to drive her to college. Again. I'm so sick today. This is so not what I wanted to be dealing with. Again. Ugh.

  • Bleacheddecay
    January 24, 2013 at 11:37 AM

    Well I dropped her off this morning. Hopefully she'll do well until I pick her up for the weekend tomorrow. Meanwhile I'm still sick as can be.

  • Bleacheddecay
    January 25, 2013 at 1:23 PM

    She locked herself out of her apartment. That kind of behavior is what I would expect if she were off her meds. Ugh.

  • Bleacheddecay
    January 25, 2013 at 6:40 PM

    She is home. Said yesterday was tough for her. I thought it was mostly just the days when she didn't have classes. She is still very happy with her classes but all this scares me for another bad semester. I'm glad she is going to her drug doc Monday. Maybe they can help her somehow with all this anxiety and nervous energy.

  • Bleacheddecay
    January 28, 2013 at 9:16 PM

    She is back again today. I took her to college last night. She has classes in the morning and she is getting sick with what her Dad (for over 3 weeks) and I (for over 2 weeks) have had.

  • Esmrlda
    by Esmrlda
    January 29, 2013 at 12:24 PM

     I hope you are feeling better now, what did the drug doc say yesterday?

  • Bleacheddecay
    January 29, 2013 at 12:49 PM

    Thanks. I'm maybe a little better but this upper respiratory crud hangs on hard.

    Yesterday I took her to her psychiatrist. He prescribed klonopin, just a tiny bit to help with anxiety. It wasn't good at all. It gave her a trip. So she can't use it if she has anything she needs to do like say walk. Plus it's addictive and she just probably shouldn't use it at all.

    Yesterday the pediatrician gave her an antibiotic and a cough suppressant / expectorant for the same crud her Dad has had (3 + weeks now) and I have (2+ weeks now) and she came home.

    Took her to classes today but she threw up several times so she came back home. I have a call into the pediatrician now because she threw up all her meds including antibiotic. It looks like she got a stomach bug at the same time.

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