Moms with Adult Kids

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Esmrlda
Spin off of "Am I the Crazy one here?"
by Esmrlda
October 8, 2012 at 6:09 PM

It seems as if some people like having their children live with them and some like their clean quiet empty nests..........so it makes me wonder if when your adult children DO live with you, do you find yourself doing things for them that you have always done?   Things you dont have to do but do anyway?    Like wash their dishes, even it its a plate, knife and cup,  make them a meal, wipre down after them, clean their bathroom, run an errand, do their laundry, little things.  Basically coddling them in some way?  Im not saying totally coddling them but in some way you do?  Something that you wouldnt do for anyone else or you would make someone do it them selves?

Do you think that sometimes children living at home expect these things to be done for them or are in some way demanding?

Please be honest.

Please answer if you do or do not coddle your young adult in some way.
  • Only group members can vote in this poll.
  1. 11% - No way, they can do it themselves, my work is done.
  2. 11% - I do things for them to make their lives easier.
  3. 7% - I do things for them because it is easier. You know that saying if you want it done right do it yourself?
  4. 53% - Yes I do in some ways coddle. Im their mother and like doing things for my child.
  5. 15% - No way, how are they ever going to learn if you do it for them?

Replies

  • Esmrlda
    by Esmrlda
    October 8, 2012 at 6:13 PM

     I am guilty, I do do things for Dd. She dosent live with me but when she does come over I will do little things for her like wash her dishes, make her something to eat, buy her food to take home with her.  But she dosent expect it, and is appreciative. I just do it to do something for her.  It's my way of showing my love for her. 

  • Bmat
    by Bmat
    October 8, 2012 at 6:24 PM

    No,  I like to do laundry, so I would do their laundry, or not. I cooked anyway, so if they were here for a meal, they could eat what I fixed, or not. Otherwise they had their own lives except I wanted to know when to expect them home and how to reach them in an emergency.

  • Rileyscute
    October 8, 2012 at 6:28 PM

    When my daughter lived here..it would have been extraneous for me to do separate meals, separate dishes etc. I was doing those things anyway. Yes, I would sometimes fix her a sandwich for work if she was running behind..take care of her when she was sick (she has done that for me as well)

    as far as coddling totally? no..

    I think I made her too independent in many ways..she would not appreciate having to rely on us all the time..although is always appreciative if we do things for her

  • homeskoolmama
    October 8, 2012 at 8:23 PM

    My kids do their own laundry and mostly buy their own meals away from home due to their scheudles. I cook for us all, so if they are there they eat. They do their own errands unless it is something they need help with and ask. I do for them but don't mind, love them and know that all too soon they'll be gone. I don't consider it coddling.

  • LeJane
    by LeJane
    October 8, 2012 at 9:06 PM

     None of mine live at home.    We do things together when they are here.     My kids pick up after themselves and are very self-sufficient.     I do other special things for them whenever I can.   I don't get to see any of them too often so when they visit,   I like to spoil them in whatever way I can.    

  • lisamarie1265
    October 9, 2012 at 12:12 AM
    Honestly.... Yes, I do the dishes, and cook as I have always done BUT becs will do the dishes, and she does her own laundry...that just started recently, lol!! She also cleans her bathroom but the girls have always cleaned thier own bathroom, they wanted it so with it came responsibility to keep it clean. I do coddle her, I am not going to BS, I do a lot for her... But it doesn't bother me, I don't think she "expects" them to be done for her, she is appreciative. Becs is my Baby... She works hard, and is a strong young woman, but she has a disease that at times the realization hits her and she needs me, she will cuddle next to me, ask me to just hold her because she's feelin scared. If her back aches I rub it..If the joints in her fingers hurt I massage her hands, It's hard for her, but she deals with it most of the time... So do I coddle her, and do more fr her at times.. Yes!! Its because I love her. I do for my older daughter also if I am at the farmers market I will pick them up the veggies they like, or if I see something cute for thier house I will buy it... But they too are appreciative they do Sunday Family dinner all the time... Whether its at their home, or they cook and bring it to gramma and poppa's or they come our house and cook.. . Guess you can say we all do for one another...
  • EireLass
    October 9, 2012 at 1:15 AM

    Thinking of the 5 different kids. If any one of them lived here, I would probably find myself doing something, but it wouldn't be the same for all.

  • CoeyG
    by CoeyG
    October 9, 2012 at 2:35 AM

    I chose "I do in some ways coddle, I'm their mother and I like doing things for my child".  When we lived together she helped me and I would help her, that to me is what family is.  Helping one another, supporting each other, making life a wee bit easier for everyone.  Yes, I expected her to pull her own weight around here, to pitch in, to be responsible for her half.  

  • Why123
    by Why123
    October 9, 2012 at 10:08 AM

    My son and his family live with me and I can't say I do much coddling.  They do their own laundry, cook most of the meals, clean the house, cut the grass and do the gardening.  My son is a mechanic and does the majority of the work on my car.  I would say they coddle me not me them.

  • teaching1972
    October 9, 2012 at 10:24 AM

    My kids all live at least three hours away from us.  When we go to visit, I try to take something that I have cooked or cook for them when I get there.  When they come home, I try to have the food they like to eat.  I remember my own mom often calling after I would get home from work and saying that she had made something extra like a cake or soup and that she was bringing it over.  I want to make that memory for my own family.  I prefer to think of it as loving, not  coddling. 

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