Go ahead and let them argue with you...

[kmrtigger]

I know this is about teenagers. But as quickly as our kids seem to be growing now a days this might be useful now as a tween.

Why It's Good to Argue With Your Teenager

Does your child seem to bust out the debate skills of a young Aristotle during battles over things like curfew or homework?

While the constant arguing can be enough to drive a parent crazy, there may be a silver lining.

A new study from the University of Virginia (UVA) has shown that if a young teen can argue effectively with his or her parents they are more likely to resist peer pressure to use drugs or alcohol later in adolescence.

What are your thoughts on this?

[wenchmommy381]

I think it's important because sometimes we have no reason for our rules other than "because I said so!" and that is no way to deal with intelligent beings. You want to be able to exert absolute control? Get a pet.

[psych_mom]

I think good debate skills are essential in life. They have gotten me far and if my kids can come back with a good reason for something then it gives me pause to think and look at things a different way.

[Barabell]

Quoting wenchmommy381:

I think it's important because sometimes we have no reason for our rules other than "because I said so!" and that is no way to deal with intelligent beings. You want to be able to exert absolute control? Get a pet.

Hahaha. I WISH my pet would listen to me. 

[Barabell]

We actually let our son have input in the decisions we make about his life. I have pointed out to him that not all parents let their child provide input in same things we let him have input on. 

I would agree that good debate skills are important, which also includes the tween or teen understanding when their debate will not change the outcome.

[steelcrazy]

I am a strong believer in letting teens express their opinions.  It is a skill that will serve them well in their adult life and may also help you (the parent) reevaluate your views.  My parents always permitted us to discuss anything with them so long as we were respectful.  I also agree with Barbara, that teens should be given a say in things that directly impact their life.

[embrigmom]

If this is true I don't have to worrie about peer pressure and my tween. She loves to argue with us and seems to do it over just about everything. We always say she's going to be a lawyer because she loves to argue so much!

[M4LG5]

I do allow my girls to tell me why they want to do certain things.....other times I do have the "because I said so". 

When I was younger, my sister and I would go into a debate with my dad on a bunch of issues.  It was our way to be engaged with my dad in a fun way.

[TempestRayne]

Quoting M4LG5:

I do allow my girls to tell me why they want to do certain things.....other times I do have the "because I said so". 

When I was younger, my sister and I would go into a debate with my dad on a bunch of issues.  It was our way to be engaged with my dad in a fun way.

[mommadana]

My rule is you can voice your opinion, no matter what it is, but you better do it respectfully.  If you want something different, you will need to give me an idea and tell me why you want it this way.  I make him think it through to make his point. 

[mommadana]

I do the same thing unless we have prior plans.  Like when he was playing baseball during our family reunion, the first game was the last Sunday we were there.  So we let him make the decision (his coach knew we had fam reunion so he had planned ahead if we couldn't make it) and his decision was to go to his playoff game and be there for his team.  We drove the long drive back and he was there to play.  Same thing with getting a haircut, it's his decision to get a mohawk, or a faux hawk or let it grow. I personally don't care because it's his hair. 

Quoting Barabell:

We actually let our son have input in the decisions we make about his life. I have pointed out to him that not all parents let their child provide input in same things we let him have input on. 

I would agree that good debate skills are important, which also includes the tween or teen understanding when their debate will not change the outcome.