Tween Titans

mamarj
Now-a-days, how much freedom do you let your preteen have?
by mamarj
October 12, 2012 at 1:43 PM
I don't know if in your guys' areas this is a big deal but lately there has been several attempted abductions in my state and surrounding states. For awhile I was not letting DD do anything like she used to (go to bike rides around the block, walk to the park, walk alone to a friends house, etc,) and she was OK with it because of something that happened fairly close to out neck of the woods. But the kids around here are slowly getting back to their normal play routine (cautiously) and meeting outside to play again. So DD and a couple other kids wanted to walk to a park close by and for the first time in months I okayed for her to go, along with a lecture and her cell phone. But before they even made it there I see her and her friend arguing in the driveway and DD comes stomping back in the house. Evidently her friend had called a boy that DD didn't know to meet them at the park. The boy was their age and I'm sure harmless but I was very happy for DD for standing her ground and not doing something that made her uncomfortable. I was happy that she said no despite the fact it risked a friendship. I've always taught her that a GOOD friend would not make you do anything you didn't want to do.

I do hate that I have to keep my child so close when she is at that age to have some freedom and explore. When I was her age I rode my bike all over town. But I am glad that she understands why I give her boundaries.

Replies

  • brandi185
    October 12, 2012 at 2:32 PM

    my kids have limited freedom.  they do pretty good.  my kids are always with their bike or scooter and usually with a group of friends.  if it's just the two of them then they stay in front of the house.

  • psych_mom
    October 12, 2012 at 4:34 PM

    We live in an area where you can't safely walk to a park or anything like that. I wouldn't let them anyway. Not too long ago there was a girl that was taken and they found her body two days later and this happened in the city that we live in. They still haven't arrested anyone in this case. They are allowed to play outside in our yard without us (we live off the main road and no one can get to our house without us knowing because we have security cameras) but that is all.

    Good for your dd standing up and saying No.

  • kmrtigger
    October 13, 2012 at 12:15 AM

    Mine have LESS freedom than I did as a child. But I grew up in a very small town. Everyone knew everyone and if you were bad, your parents knew about it before you step foot back in the yard.

    I am just now slowly allowing them to go to a friends house to play outside. It depends on which friend and the area they live in.

  • Jazzimom03
    October 13, 2012 at 1:00 AM


    Quoting brandi185:

    my kids have limited freedom.  they do pretty good.  my kids are always with their bike or scooter and usually with a group of friends.  if it's just the two of them then they stay in front of the house.


  • cocoroo
    by cocoroo
    October 13, 2012 at 2:31 AM
    I give my children a decent amount of freedom, but not too much. I feel safe in our area and I refuse to live in fear of what ifs.
  • Barabell
    October 13, 2012 at 1:28 PM


    Quoting cocoroo:

    I give my children a decent amount of freedom, but not too much. I feel safe in our area and I refuse to live in fear of what ifs.

    I agree with this.

    Starting in the later tween years, my son could walk to a nearby park (within a block of our house) with friends. His friend's parents seem to let the same freedoms happen around the same time, with the exception of one friend that has "free range" parents. 

  • Lorena
    by Lorena
    October 13, 2012 at 4:19 PM
    My tweens have a ton less freedom then I had. Things seemed safer back then and I was always gone. My parents had no clue where I was and didn't care as long as I was homr fir dinner or called. My kids are allowed to play in the yard or in the feilds (we live in yhe country but right out side of town). They can not ride to town. The older boys ride there bikes home after practice but only together. I prefer that there friends come to our house and if they do go there I havr to know the parents and if they go anywhere they have to call. Im so paranoid nothing bad has ever happened in our town but the freeway comes right by.
  • M4LG5
    by M4LG5
    October 13, 2012 at 8:02 PM
    She can go to.the bathroom on her own in most places......sometimes she still wants me to go with her. She can be out in front on her own but not too far.
  • TempestRayne
    October 14, 2012 at 10:03 AM
    My kids have less freedom than I did. I used to be more free range, but I reigned them and myself in a lot.
  • kathynej7142007
    October 14, 2012 at 1:08 PM

    Our dd has less freedom than I had. I was walking to school in 2nd grade when i was 7yrs old, 7blocks to school... I rode my bike and walked every where everyday.... My DD can play in our yard by her self and can ride her bike 1/2 way up our drive. when  we are in stores she stays right with me.

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