than his or her peers?
My oldest is 10 years old. I feel that she speaks and acts younger than other chilren her age. My 8 year old son seems average and is a quick thinker. I am trying to figure out how to make our kids more responsible and not so lazy lol. I don't want them to grow up to fast but I do want them to be equal with their peers.
October 10, 2012 at 1:28 PM
My son is the oldest of all his siblings, his cousins, but young for his peer group (I find the school is very quick to hold back students so some kids are 1-2 years older than him). It all compounds into him sometimes acting immature.
A little responsibility is absolutely appropriate for a 10-year-old. Make a list of things he is already responsible for (you might be surprised), and then add something that you do that he can handle. Then make sure to have him do it as a habit.
by kmrtiggerOctober 10, 2012 at 1:50 PM
It depends on which friends. Some act the same age as my boys, and some act older only because they are only children or oldest siblings. Some act older because their parents treat them older and expect more from them because they are single parents.
by BarabellOctober 10, 2012 at 3:27 PM
I have an only, and he has no cousins. I find him to be in-line with his friends, but that could just be because they relate to each other well (in terms of being on the same level of maturity).
With that being said, people often tell me that only children tend to act older because most of their daily contact is with adults.
Ds2 seems to be on par w/ other kids his age. Ds1 is a little immature for his age, but I've heard that's normal for kids w/ ADHD/ADD. Dd strikes me as a little immature for her age, but it doesn't surprise me as I strongly suspect she's ADD as well.
They all have a few chores they are responsible for.
by BabujaiOctober 10, 2012 at 4:06 PM
My ODS just turned 11 and he did seem behind his peers last year, but he made a "maturity jump" over the summer. He starts middle school next year and I told him that will come with some new responsibilities and privileges, if he proves himself mature enough. He has accepted the challenge and really stepped up.
by bookworm14October 10, 2012 at 4:59 PMMy stepson is 11 and acts like he's 15 or something. He often wishes he were an adult already, and tries to act like he is. But it all comes across as really immature, in an odd way. Like he's trying hard to be older, but he's finding some immature ways to go about it. I often wish he would act younger. But his birth mother introduced him to things way older than he should have been, talked to him as if he were an adult, when he was only 5 or something. Now he thinks that he deserves to watch R movies and play MA games, and bucks against us when we say no. Its sad, I wish he would enjoy his childhood more than thinking he should already be older.
by psych_momOctober 10, 2012 at 5:53 PMMy dd is pretty much the youngest 3rd grader but acts like she is older than a lot of them. My boys act their age sometimes and sometimes not.
by GotSomeKidsOctober 10, 2012 at 6:27 PM
I thought Ema did for a while, but lately she seems to be growing out of it. As for being responsible, we don't gauge that with her peers. We gauge it with our family dynamic. It also depends on what you mean by responsible.
Our kids are 9 and 11 (12 in just a few weeks). Responsible to us is getting dressed, making their lunches, being prepared for school, finishing homework, taking initiative. We do not gauge that against their peers at all.
Might I recommend a book?
I just started reading this book a few days ago and I read another version (for younger kids) when the kiddos were pre-school age. They helped immensely. While, we still have our moments (we all do). For the most part, our parenting methods have worked out a lot better.
by mommyto3beesOctober 10, 2012 at 7:07 PMYea