Tween Titans

Monitoring Tween Technology? UPDATE: WE FOUND PORN :(
April 21, 2012 at 10:32 AM
  1.  Hello all! I'm thinking of installing spyware or similar technology on the computer to monitor my tweens activities. I believe she is using it innocently, but we can never be too sure. I do check her cellphone and the computer history but wanted to know how you all monitor tweens.

Any advice?

Are there any products that you really love?

Thanks in advance!


UPDATE: We found out my stepdaughter has been watching porn on her Kindle Fire instead of "reading"! HELP!


  • hkcason
    by hkcason
    April 26, 2012 at 11:39 AM

     oh i know how u feel!! i've blocked the times my DS can use the computer & he's not allowed ANY computer, video games, anything that can go online in his room. we also had a LONG talk about sex & what's appropriate & whats not. he can earn time w/ these things back  but absolutly not w/o supervision

  • fineyouguyswin
    April 26, 2012 at 9:43 PM

    Take it away :/ Sorry that is my best advice. It won't KILL her of course and I won't lie I did it. But not really appropriate.

  • kmrtigger
    April 26, 2012 at 10:13 PM

    We have laid out rules and expectations to the kids about use of the electronics and the Internet. And we check the history, pictures and previewed shows often. They are aware at any moment we can take their device for a random check. And when a rule is broken, they lose privileges for a while and have to earn our trust back for that privilege again.

  • kmrtigger
    April 26, 2012 at 10:16 PM

    Quoting psych_mom:

    Take the Kindle Fire from her and ground her from using technology except for use on school projects.

    I agree with this. It's something we have done with our kids.

  • kmrtigger
    April 26, 2012 at 10:20 PM

    Quoting bupkie:

    Quoting QueenCreole313:

     UPDATE: We found out my stepdaughter has been watching porn on her Kindle Fire instead of "reading"! HELP!

    Ugh....  sorry!   See, this is where monitoring really is necessary.  Time to matter-of-factly open up a dialog with her about what she is accessing on her Kindle, computer, phone, etc....    Where did she learn about these websites?  Did someone tell her about them, send her a link, is she searching for them on her own, and why?    

    Sure when teens are growing up they are curious and want information, but I'm sure the internet isn't where you want them searching for answers on their own, or from someone else...  

    This is where you get to give some input, rules can be implemented,  where she can earn back your trust, and hopefully this experience can be used to let her know that she can come to you with questions - and you can explain to her WHY you have the rules you have for her.   

    (Try your best to keep all freaking out on the inside...  and communicate as calmly as you can with her on the outside.)   Then, later, when she isn't around, finish freaking out on the inside again!!!!!  That's perfectly acceptible, and encouraged in my book!!!  

      What if she didn't initiate the search for what she is seeing?

    I agree with Bups this is t advice on things to discuss. And a great time to set some rules and expectations in place.

  • kmh4girls
    April 26, 2012 at 10:56 PM
    Quoting omamabean:

    No spyware at our house. The computer is in a public area and they are not allowed on chat sites, Facebook or anywhere like that yet. Both dd's have email and I have their accounts forwarded to my phone. They know it, and I don't read anything, but I told them I was doing the forward when they got the mail to protect them from spam. There are times I have considered getting a texting forwarding thing from the phone co. to see what goes on there but I feel that would be like I am not trusting them and I have no reason not to trust them.

    Exact same thing here!!
  • momto3infl
    April 27, 2012 at 6:37 AM

     no spyware-oldest only uses laptop for research and ASL projects.  Son will use main computer-so will youngest.  They have to give my email if they need something with an email acct, and they dont have facebook.  Oldest has cell phone in case of with the bus in middle school-but we can check it anytime and do maybe once a month-only once found something on that-was taken away from her for a month and now she knows.

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