I was at work today when a coworker told me someone was there to talk to me. I didn't recognize the woman at first. Then she told me that she wanted to talk to me about Kaleb (his adoptive name.) Then I realized it was the girlfriends mom. My heart almost stopped. I just knew she was there to tell me that he didn't want to talk to me any more. I got the other girls to take over for me so I could talk to her. This is what happened.
She told me that amom believes I am pure EVIL and she has to protect Christopher from me. So she was going to send him to a boys home out of state for 2 years. GFmom convinces her to give custody of him to her and that way he would stil be near home, and I wouldn't know where he was. So they are in the process of getting full legal custody of him. With the condition that he will not be able to contact me, and that I will not contact him. He did not reply to the birthday email because he knows his emails are monitored and doesn't know if they are being copied to amom. So he ignored it... To protect me and himself. The GFmom said that as soon as she had custody she would let us talk, but she can't risk it right now. She was planning on waiting until it was all over to contact me, but she said he has been crying for 2 days, and told her, "We have to let my mom know. She will think I don't want to talk to her, and I don't want her to think that. She has to know I'm okay." So she agreed to come by and see me. And she told me something else, that made me really mad. She told me that when she has custody he can see me, but it will be just like when amom had him. I can take him out to eat and stuff, but he can't stay with me. Spend the night or anything. Why would someone do that? Is that not asserting the same control amom had? (That's the advice I need. What do I do about that? Nothing?)
BEST PART He was in the car and she told me to come see him for a minute. When I went out there, he came out of the car crying, and grabbed onto me like he would never let go. He whispered in my ear, "I love you, Mom. And I will never leave you." I am crying now, just typing this. Everytime I would pull back to look into his eyes, and kiss his cheek, he would pull me back in for a big bear hug. Anyone watching would have been able to see that neither one of us wanted to let go.
I am so happy that I had that today, but letting go of him, took me back 15 years. I felt the same physical sickness that I felt when I lost my baby boy. But at least this time, I know it's not forever. It's not even for that long. Thank you all for telling me not to give up. That like me, you didn't see how he could just walk away. It kept me sane.
There is a search angel here somewhere on another group. I forget which one. I will look tomorrow and post it for you. My phone us about to die. :( Happy Thanksgiving to you too.
don 't know how/where to search ! I have posted his birth info on a few sites,
but that 's it . If you have ANY ideas on how/where I can search for him , I 'd
love to hear your ideas . Hope ya have a great Thanksgiving Day ! :-)