Birthmoms

Vikki77
A little hope
by Vikki77
November 8, 2012 at 7:27 PM
I texted Christopher's friend the other day when I saw that I was blocked and she was deleted from facebook. She told me that he had just drifted away from her since they no longer shared any classes. She didn't know anything about where he is or what was going on. I thanked her.

She texted me today and told me that she has been asking around at school. And the way she asked was "Do you know if he did move back with his real mom?" She asked all of their mutual friends, acting like she don't know me. The rumor going around school is that he is waiting a little while to contact me to "protect me from the adoptive parents" and he will come to me when it's safe.

None of his friends know where he is. And I am a little happy and a little sad about this rumor. If it is true, I am glad he still wants me. But I am sad that he feels the need to protect me.

I don't know what to think or believe. I just know I can't get my hopes up too high. If I did, I would be devastated if it turned out that he didn't want anything to do with me. And I wouldn't be able to function. Please everyone keep him in your thoughts or prayers, or whatever you do. :) And again thank you all for being here for me.

Replies

  • vampporcupine
    November 8, 2012 at 7:38 PM
    I'm glad you have someone who has an "in" with the gossip. It makes sense. I would be inclined to believe it and just be patient.
    Luv and hugs
  • Vikki77
    by Vikki77
    November 8, 2012 at 8:16 PM
    Thanks. I am wanting to believe it. Over the last 3 years, as I have gotten to know him, I don't think he would be capable of pretending to care about me if he didn't. I also have the fact that he went against their wishes so often to talk to me. But that also works in the way of convincing me he just needs a break. After all, why protect me now? Lol Either way, I will be patient, and be here when he comes.

    Quoting vampporcupine:

    I'm glad you have someone who has an "in" with the gossip. It makes sense. I would be inclined to believe it and just be patient.

    Luv and hugs
  • drfink
    by drfink
    November 8, 2012 at 9:31 PM

    I agree with vamp.With him changing schools and moving I suspect his amom made him feel very ,very guilty and/or implied or said she would make trouble of some sort for you.He may just going along for the ride till he feels things are safe for him and you.I never thought he was just shutting you away..Too sudden ,moving and changing schools to just get away.

    I know it is hard to be patient but hang in there.

  • 2jeffsmom
    November 9, 2012 at 1:22 AM

    Patience and pain is a part of our life's. Hang in there.

  • stephdean1116
    November 9, 2012 at 8:38 AM

    Assuming the "rumor" is correct , which from all I have read seems very believable , Its quite the predicament that his amom has put him in . so disgusting that an "adult" could somehow justify her actions and words against her childs "other" parent . Sick sick sick.  When will people learn that they cannot keep "their" kids all to themselves , at some point they are going to grow up and try out their own  brains , and quite often these parents will find that their "protection" techniques come to slap them in the face ....Hang in there, what a relief for you though that you have a way to find things out , even if its only  a little info , something is better than nothing ...... 

  • DVT
    by DVT
    November 9, 2012 at 2:22 PM

    I hope the rumor is true in a good way - that's the reason he hasn't contacted you! Yes, there is hope! However, I agree with Steph - that's a terrible place to put the child/young adult in.  He's old enough to choose who he wants to see.  Good Grief - you're not a mass murder or anything!  You're just a mom who has love to give to her son and just want him to be a part of your family - too.  Noticed, I said "too" not "instead"  - I believe that terrifies the adoptive families when that happens.  Hang in there and take care - thinking of you and sending hugs your way!

  • Vikki77
    by Vikki77
    November 9, 2012 at 9:57 PM
    I am positive she made him feel guilty. I have heard her do that myself. I don't hate anybody... But she has brought me very close. I have heard her ask him why he cares so much about me when I have done nothing for him. (I guess giving birth to him and loving him doesn't count.)

    Quoting drfink:

    I agree with vamp.With him changing schools and moving I suspect his amom made him feel very ,very guilty and/or implied or said she would make trouble of some sort for you.He may just going along for the ride till he feels things are safe for him and you.I never thought he was just shutting you away..Too sudden ,moving and changing schools to just get away.

    I know it is hard to be patient but hang in there.

  • Vikki77
    by Vikki77
    November 9, 2012 at 9:58 PM
    I am. I don't give up that easy. :) Thanks.

    Quoting 2jeffsmom:

    Patience and pain is a part of our life's. Hang in there.

  • Vikki77
    by Vikki77
    November 9, 2012 at 10:03 PM
    I know. I am so grateful for the little info I do get. It's way more than I got for years. At least I know he is alive and healthy. :)

    I too feel bad that she has put him in this situation. I have never agreed with bad talking the other parent. Whether it's adoptive, step, or biological. I raised 3 step kids with a bio mom that would disappear for years at time. I NEVER let any one bad mouth her within a mile of the kids. (Even though I did my fair share of bad mouthing when they weren't around.) I know doing that is just asking for resentment.


    Quoting stephdean1116:

    Assuming the "rumor" is correct , which from all I have read seems very believable , Its quite the predicament that his amom has put him in . so disgusting that an "adult" could somehow justify her actions and words against her childs "other" parent . Sick sick sick.  When will people learn that they cannot keep "their" kids all to themselves , at some point they are going to grow up and try out their own  brains , and quite often these parents will find that their "protection" techniques come to slap them in the face ....Hang in there, what a relief for you though that you have a way to find things out , even if its only  a little info , something is better than nothing ...... 

  • Vikki77
    by Vikki77
    November 9, 2012 at 10:06 PM
    Thank you. I never agree when God is brought into adoption, but... This so reminds me of the 2 moms claiming the baby as their own. And only the real mom loved her child enough to let go instead of causing him harm.

    Quoting DVT:

    I hope the rumor is true in a good way - that's the reason he hasn't contacted you! Yes, there is hope! However, I agree with Steph - that's a terrible place to put the child/young adult in.  He's old enough to choose who he wants to see.  Good Grief - you're not a mass murder or anything!  You're just a mom who has love to give to her son and just want him to be a part of your family - too.  Noticed, I said "too" not "instead"  - I believe that terrifies the adoptive families when that happens.  Hang in there and take care - thinking of you and sending hugs your way!

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