30ish Mom's
Hi all. I'm almost 35 (in a few days). Have been mostly happily married to a great guy for over 12 yrs, and we have one beautiful daughter who is a preteen.
Hubby and I each seem to be having our own mid life crisis at the same time (he's getting close to 40.) I feel like our entire life together is about to fall completely apart. We aren't connecting at all anymore, on any level and haven't been for months. Our daughter is growing up way too fast for me, and hubby is dead set against having another child. I just don't know what to do about anything anymore. I feel like he doesn't need me at all, doesn't want me at all, and my daughter needs me less and less each day. How can I snap out of this funk?
Replies
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I am so sorry to hear that you're going through this tough time. I don't really know what else to say except the normal "have you thought about counseling"? It might help and even if not at least you can say you gave it a shot. Anyhow, if you just want someone to vent to, please feel free to send me a message. Sometimes it helps just to have someone listen to you... :-) -
Hubby doesn't think we need counseling, but I've thought about going for some counseling just for myself. I've thought of going back to school and getting my degree, maybe even get a career going. I just don't know if now is the time to be doing that since my daughter will be starting middle school in the fall. Some of my friends say now is the perfect time since she's older and doesn't need me at home. Others say since she's almost a teenager she'll need me now more than she ever has before. I feel like I'm at a major crossroads in my life and have no idea which is the better path to take.
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Do you work or are you a stay-at home mom? If you don't work, take a class while you're daughter is in school herself. That will also give you something in common and you can talk to her about studying in the evenings, as she does the same.
If you work part time, pick days you are off when she's at school-
If you work full time, pick a class (some go just one night a week) and let that one night be for yourself and let your daughter and her dad have one night / wk to hang out, watch a movie and pop some popcorn, talk about school or whatever.Even if it's just an art/ ceramics/ photography class or humanities class- do something for yourself! You'll feel better about yourself and then maybe that will spread in the household!
Good luck~ Keep us posted. -
Quoting shutterbugmom07:
Do you work or are you a stay-at home mom? If you don't work, take a class while you're daughter is in school herself. That will also give you something in common and you can talk to her about studying in the evenings, as she does the same. If you work part time, pick days you are off when she's at school- If you work full time, pick a class (some go just one night a week) and let that one night be for yourself and let your daughter and her dad have one night / wk to hang out, watch a movie and pop some popcorn, talk about school or whatever.
Even if it's just an art/ ceramics/ photography class or humanities class- do something for yourself! You'll feel better about yourself and then maybe that will spread in the household! Good luck~ Keep us posted.
This is a smart idea, I agree.