Working Moms

MyLittlePwny
PIOG - Sexual harrassment at dd's school, WWYD? **UPDATE**
October 5, 2012 at 9:01 AM

I'm posting this in here because I know most of you would understand that quitting my job to stay home just isn't an option for us, but I'm really at a loss right now and could use some advice.


This may get a little long, but I will try and keep this as short as possible - I just could really use some advice right now.

My 4 year old dd is in Pre-K.  She attends the After School program in the afternoons for 2 hours until I get off work and pick her up.  There is a little boy in her after school class, C, who we've had a few issues with since the first day of school.  The first day I picked my dd up and she was crying.  Apparently, C had pushed her, pulled her hair and kissed her on the mouth.  She tried to push him off of her, in which the teacher put them both in time out.  I immediately brought it up to the owner of the school and she admitted to me that they've had some behavior issues with this child in the past.  So bad, apparently, that his parents have had to come and pick him up several times.

A couple of weeks later, my dd tells me that he kissed her again.  I immediately called the school and they told me that they would be talking with his parents about it.

Yesterday I go to pick her up, and discover that she has a new after school teacher, Mrs. T.  She was also my dd's teacher last year when she was in daycare, so we know her very well and love her to pieces.  She loves my dd and tells me that my dd is very special to her.

I take the opportunity to inform her about the problems that we have had with C and to please keep an eye on my dd.  She then told me that last week, C's parents had to come and pick him up because on the playground, he had pinned another little girl down and was trying to pull her clothes off.  Needless to say, I'm beyond shocked and no longer want this child anywhere near my daughter.

Here's my problem.  I know this teacher wasn't supposed to tell me this information, however, because we have had several problems with him these past few weeks, I don't want to take any chances at him doing something like this to my child.  It's obvious that he has issues, and I'm really upset that the school is still allowing him back each day.  I want to tell the school that I want them separated and I don't want my dd in the same class as him, but I also don't want to get the teacher in trouble.  More importantly, I don't want to risk something happening to my dd, because if he tries to kiss her again, my husband and I have agreed that we would press charges against the parents for sexual harrassment.  This boy is extremely aggressive and it's really starting to worry me.

Changing schools is not an option at this point (obviously, worst case scenario we would, but that would be our last resort).  WWYD if you were in this situation?

I called the main office for the Head Start program, which oversees the state's Pre-K program and spoke with a very nice lady there.  I explained to her what's going on and even she was curious as to why the child is still able to attend school.  She said that she was going to find out who's jurisdiction the school is under and have them conduct an investigation to get to the bottom of what's going on.  I requested to remain anonymous and the lady told me that she would call me to update me once she knows what actions they will take. If they feel that something is going on at home with this child, they will involve DFCS at that time.

In the mean time, I will be talking with the owner today and tell her that I've spoken with other parents and heard that he was involved in yet another incident and that I am requesting he be removed from my daughter's after school class.  If they move him, great, if not.. well, I don't think telling them I've already reported them is going to do anything but make a big ass stink.

Replies

  • happymommy1105
    October 5, 2012 at 9:04 AM
    I would change schools. the director isn't listening to your concerns. Your child is being put at risk and its clear the school is not concerned with her safety or your piece of mind as a parent.

    The only choice I would have would be to find alternative arrangements for my child and tell the school exactly why my child is leaving their care.
  • MyLittlePwny
    October 5, 2012 at 9:07 AM

    That's where I'm getting stuck, though.  I work 35 miles away from home and this school is just one block away from my job.  We are expecting a new baby here in the next several weeks and it would be very nice to have her that close to me.  If we were to switch schools, it would be to a school closer to home so she can also go there when she starts Kindergarten next year (so she's not bouncing around).

    Quoting happymommy1105:

    I would change schools. the director isn't listening to your concerns. Your child is being put at risk and its clear the school is not concerned with her safety or your piece of mind as a parent.

    The only choice I would have would be to find alternative arrangements for my child and tell the school exactly why my child is leaving their care.


  • happymommy1105
    October 5, 2012 at 9:09 AM
    She either goes now or in the future.

    I wouldn't risk her safety now.


    Quoting MyLittlePwny:

    That's where I'm getting stuck, though.  I work 35 miles away from home and this school is just one block away from my job.  We are expecting a new baby here in the next several weeks and it would be very nice to have her that close to me.  If we were to switch schools, it would be to a school closer to home so she can also go there when she starts Kindergarten next year (so she's not bouncing around).

    Quoting happymommy1105:

    I would change schools. the director isn't listening to your concerns. Your child is being put at risk and its clear the school is not concerned with her safety or your piece of mind as a parent.



    The only choice I would have would be to find alternative arrangements for my child and tell the school exactly why my child is leaving their care.


  • leahbeah143
    October 5, 2012 at 9:22 AM

     I think it would really bother me that they would still allow this kid to be there after he pinned a little girl down and tried to get her clothes off. Have you contacted the kids parents yourself?

  • MyLittlePwny
    October 5, 2012 at 9:30 AM

    I haven't.  I didn't ask for it because frankly, I don't know if the school would even give me their information.  I've never seen his parents at the school, or else I would have approached them.

    Quoting leahbeah143:

     I think it would really bother me that they would still allow this kid to be there after he pinned a little girl down and tried to get her clothes off. Have you contacted the kids parents yourself?


  • MyLittlePwny
    October 5, 2012 at 9:40 AM

    Several people have told me to call DFCS and have them investigate in the event that this little boy is being abused.  I found the number to the local office, but I've never dealt with them before and the horror stories on this site has me a little freaked out to call.

    Quoting happymommy1105:

    She either goes now or in the future.

    I wouldn't risk her safety now.


    Quoting MyLittlePwny:

    That's where I'm getting stuck, though.  I work 35 miles away from home and this school is just one block away from my job.  We are expecting a new baby here in the next several weeks and it would be very nice to have her that close to me.  If we were to switch schools, it would be to a school closer to home so she can also go there when she starts Kindergarten next year (so she's not bouncing around).

    Quoting happymommy1105:

    I would change schools. the director isn't listening to your concerns. Your child is being put at risk and its clear the school is not concerned with her safety or your piece of mind as a parent.



    The only choice I would have would be to find alternative arrangements for my child and tell the school exactly why my child is leaving their care.



  • deccaf
    by deccaf
    October 5, 2012 at 10:07 AM

    I would discuss this with the schools highest office.  The director is doing nothint to prevent your child from being assaulted.  If they refuse to remove the child, you will have to remove yours and then make a stink on the news about how they are putting children at risk.

  • Mireya926
    October 5, 2012 at 10:48 AM
    As a former preschool teacher now a sub, THIS MIGHT BE LONG.

    1ST under any circumstance is a teacher to tell a parent the name of a child that is the agresser.
    Maybe that is why the previous teacher no longer works there.
    2nd as a parent myself I would pull out my child I agree with the laddies above me. But I understand that is no option.
    3rd Solution:
    Contact the licensing department and file a clame. IT IS ANONYMOUS. No one well report it was u who contacted them. Remember another child was bullied.
    Now when a teacher is hired we are given a form to report any sexual or child abuse on any child to report it. We are protected. If we see, hear, see that a child or and adult behave or have unusual bruses we are to report it.
    Something the school has failed to do, the director, the teachers. Yes the will be oddited, but u will have a safer environment.
    As parents we have rights too.
    Please I urge you to do so. Another child can get hurt or something.
    Children are not just what they eat, they are also what they see at home.
  • MyLittlePwny
    October 5, 2012 at 10:52 AM

    Well, my daughter is the one who told me the name of the boy, not the teacher.

    Second, the other teacher does still work there, but is no longer doing after school.  She is a Pre-K teacher who was just filling in for after school until they found someone who could do it on a regular basis.

    Quoting Mireya926:

    As a former preschool teacher now a sub, THIS MIGHT BE LONG.

    1ST under any circumstance is a teacher to tell a parent the name of a child that is the agresser.
    Maybe that is why the previous teacher no longer works there.
    2nd as a parent myself I would pull out my child I agree with the laddies above me. But I understand that is no option.
    3rd Solution:
    Contact the licensing department and file a clame. IT IS ANONYMOUS. No one well report it was u who contacted them. Remember another child was bullied.
    Now when a teacher is hired we are given a form to report any sexual or child abuse on any child to report it. We are protected. If we see, hear, see that a child or and adult behave or have unusual bruses we are to report it.
    Something the school has failed to do, the director, the teachers. Yes the will be oddited, but u will have a safer environment.
    As parents we have rights too.
    Please I urge you to do so. Another child can get hurt or something.
    Children are not just what they eat, they are also what they see at home.


  • the3Rs
    by the3Rs
    October 5, 2012 at 1:00 PM

    Honestly, you've done all you can.  If they don't remove him you're only option is to move her to a different school.

    We had a problem with my oldest son's daycare/preschool years ago (not like this problem - but still very bad) and we immediately removed him that day.  DH and I both worked full time, but we took turns taking a couple days off, and our parents also helped until we could get him in somewhere else - took about a week or so.

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