Working Moms

PIOG - Sexual harrassment at dd's school, WWYD? **UPDATE**
October 5, 2012 at 9:01 AM

I'm posting this in here because I know most of you would understand that quitting my job to stay home just isn't an option for us, but I'm really at a loss right now and could use some advice.

This may get a little long, but I will try and keep this as short as possible - I just could really use some advice right now.

My 4 year old dd is in Pre-K.  She attends the After School program in the afternoons for 2 hours until I get off work and pick her up.  There is a little boy in her after school class, C, who we've had a few issues with since the first day of school.  The first day I picked my dd up and she was crying.  Apparently, C had pushed her, pulled her hair and kissed her on the mouth.  She tried to push him off of her, in which the teacher put them both in time out.  I immediately brought it up to the owner of the school and she admitted to me that they've had some behavior issues with this child in the past.  So bad, apparently, that his parents have had to come and pick him up several times.

A couple of weeks later, my dd tells me that he kissed her again.  I immediately called the school and they told me that they would be talking with his parents about it.

Yesterday I go to pick her up, and discover that she has a new after school teacher, Mrs. T.  She was also my dd's teacher last year when she was in daycare, so we know her very well and love her to pieces.  She loves my dd and tells me that my dd is very special to her.

I take the opportunity to inform her about the problems that we have had with C and to please keep an eye on my dd.  She then told me that last week, C's parents had to come and pick him up because on the playground, he had pinned another little girl down and was trying to pull her clothes off.  Needless to say, I'm beyond shocked and no longer want this child anywhere near my daughter.

Here's my problem.  I know this teacher wasn't supposed to tell me this information, however, because we have had several problems with him these past few weeks, I don't want to take any chances at him doing something like this to my child.  It's obvious that he has issues, and I'm really upset that the school is still allowing him back each day.  I want to tell the school that I want them separated and I don't want my dd in the same class as him, but I also don't want to get the teacher in trouble.  More importantly, I don't want to risk something happening to my dd, because if he tries to kiss her again, my husband and I have agreed that we would press charges against the parents for sexual harrassment.  This boy is extremely aggressive and it's really starting to worry me.

Changing schools is not an option at this point (obviously, worst case scenario we would, but that would be our last resort).  WWYD if you were in this situation?

I called the main office for the Head Start program, which oversees the state's Pre-K program and spoke with a very nice lady there.  I explained to her what's going on and even she was curious as to why the child is still able to attend school.  She said that she was going to find out who's jurisdiction the school is under and have them conduct an investigation to get to the bottom of what's going on.  I requested to remain anonymous and the lady told me that she would call me to update me once she knows what actions they will take. If they feel that something is going on at home with this child, they will involve DFCS at that time.

In the mean time, I will be talking with the owner today and tell her that I've spoken with other parents and heard that he was involved in yet another incident and that I am requesting he be removed from my daughter's after school class.  If they move him, great, if not.. well, I don't think telling them I've already reported them is going to do anything but make a big ass stink.


  • deccaf
    by deccaf
    October 5, 2012 at 1:32 PM

    Good for you on contacting a higher authority.  You have to do what you can to keep your child safe.  Keeping other children safe is a bonus, too.

  • MyLittlePwny
    October 5, 2012 at 1:50 PM

    I'm jealous, I wish I could take that kind of time to look into a different school, but I'm 32 weeks pregnant and about to go on maternity leave - when I'm on leave is the earliest I could do anything.

    Quoting the3Rs:

    Honestly, you've done all you can.  If they don't remove him you're only option is to move her to a different school.

    We had a problem with my oldest son's daycare/preschool years ago (not like this problem - but still very bad) and we immediately removed him that day.  DH and I both worked full time, but we took turns taking a couple days off, and our parents also helped until we could get him in somewhere else - took about a week or so.

  • Marti123
    October 5, 2012 at 10:44 PM

    I am so sorry, you are going through this. I can relate in a different way, my ODS was getting bullied and bitten and I was pregnant and felt trapped in the school.

    Do NOT feel guilty, be pleasant, but DEMAND action from administration. If this boy is nor removed, that he NEEDS one on one care. Be very nice, but very clear, inappropriate touching by "C" is not safe for any child in that program; reoccurances reflect poorly on the facility NOT the teachers, as the teachers obviously have not been provided with staff or perhaps training to deal with a behaviorly challenged child like "C".  You just state, your daughter has told you circumstances and you believe there is an established pattern of "c", and you will be reporting to state agencies, as you are concerned for "C" and all the children. It not raising a stink, it is being realistic, honest and getting help for all involved.

  • christaberk
    October 7, 2012 at 8:53 AM
    I would change schools.
  • trfgirl56701
    October 8, 2012 at 8:57 AM

    I hope things get straightened out so you don't have to worry anymore. I can't believe that they haven't removed him from the class knowing that he's had several incidents.

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