It's been about 6months since we lost Ethan but I can happily report I am doing so much better. I was truly worried for my sanity for a bit there! I miss my son every day and wish things would of been different for him and us. I have found my strength once again! I'm back at work and can hold an infant without falling apart. The thought of never going back to the day care really worried me, it's all I have ever done in life that's been a true joy. My dreams of teaching are also moving forward with the start of going back to college this summer, I don't want to wait and regret that choose later. My husband and I have made the hard choice of not having more children and I had the Mirana put in a few weeks ago. The hubby is actually going to be a grandparent in January...his daughter is prego! Lol My brother and sis in law are happy parents of twins as of late April and Auntie will wait to see them till July. Honestly the family having kids right after my baby passed away was hard news to take but I am so happy for everyone involved. Maybe it is what will help my heart heal all the way as I hope it will someday?
I hope everyone is doing as well as can be expected...my thoughts are with you. Hugs
by Txmommy13May 10, 2011 at 9:31 AM
Hi,im glad to see you are doing better.We also had some family members and friends have their babies within days and weeks of our babies due date.It was very hard and i couldnt even stand to hear about the babies/births.But after about a month or 2 its been easier,i dont cringe when they talk about how cute a new baby is and find it increasingly easier to be around babies. Im really glad you are able to do your job that you love and return to school to pursue your dream of becoming a teacher,its really wonderful.Again im really glad your doing well.
Thats great news that you were able to go back to work. I'm so happy for you and proud of you. That takes a lot of strength and I'm glad you have come so far! Good luck with the schooling. I hope it all goes smoothly for you. The minera is probably a great choice for now. And can always be taken out if you change your minds. Always better then a more permenant decision at these times as your feelings on it may be clouded. Congrats to your step daughter! and I'm glad you are better able to handle the idea of being an auntie. I think once you see them you'll love them even more and eventually not feel that resentment. I totally understand where its coming from! But it should heal over time :p
Glad you are doing so wonderful!!!! I always think about you.