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chloeshotmama
Single mom's rights
July 10, 2007 at 1:46 AM
i was wondering if anyone knew what my rights are now that my boyfriend are split up.  we were "going to be together forever" and then i found out that he wasnt be truthful or faithfull and i dont know if i have to right to not let him see her anymore.  we have never taken it to court and he isnt paying and kind of child support.  and i dont think that we are going to get back together.  i dont know what i can and cant do.

Replies

  • Angelmom160
    July 10, 2007 at 8:48 AM
    I had the same problem. My ex- was the same way. He has 3 children all together. He sees the other two all the time, but does not see mine. It is court ordered for him to pay child support but he has not paid. We do not have visitation rights. If he wants rights, he will have to take me to family court for them. It depends on the state you live in for that. Check with legal aid, they can help you. or call your child support office and ask them what his rights are.
  • mishkins
    July 10, 2007 at 9:02 AM

    being mad or upset withh him isnt a reason to not let him see his child. if he wants to bein their life and a slong as he isn't abusive than you should let him. if an order of paternity was signed yu should go down to your county's family court and petition for custody and child support. this way you will get help financially from him and have legal visitation for him. i was told that in ny without a custody order if my daughter;s father was to take her and nt bring her back there would be no wrong doign on his part so i think its best to have all of this taken care of. good luck to you, i know how hard it can be being both mother and father to your child but i do wish arden's father wanted to be a part of her life!!!!



  • Tiffany8884
    July 10, 2007 at 4:57 PM
    Legally he has the right to see his daughter. Take him to court for child support and while you are there handle the custody issue as well. To prove that he is an unfit father that that he should not have visitation rights is pretty hard to do.You need to get a lawyer most will do a free consultation.
  • faerie75
    July 10, 2007 at 5:04 PM
    you were never married so you don't need a lawyer.

    is his name on her birth certificate? if so, get your butt right down to the DA/Family Support Division. Because if his name IS on the birth cert, he can take your child at any time and the cops will do NOTHING because you have no custody set up. when you file for child support, he will be served papers for a hearing. when he goes to court, you will be referred to mediation where you, him, and the mediator will hash out visitation. once that is done, they use a computer called a "dissomaster" to figure your income, his income, and the percentage of time he is spending with the child to figure out your support. they will take it right out of his paycheck. if he hides his checks then they take it from his tax return. eventually he will be held in contempt if he continues to not pay and will spend time in the civil (aka snivel) tank at the county jail.

    don't try to with hold the child from her dad out of spite that your relationship didnt work out unless its really a danger to her well being. and when you go to mediation, focus on HER best interest. if you try to be controlling and say you dont want none of his girlfriends around the kid they mediator and the judge will not look kindly on it. "childs best interest" thats your new mantra.
  • TSPMommy04
    July 10, 2007 at 6:14 PM

    me & my x were going to do a written agreement and now i'm thinking of just letting the courts step in b/c i'm getting no child support and he's always asking for me to pick his son up a day before. Document everything and just go to court, i really don't want to but i think i'm going to have to do it. It's going to be best for me & my child 

  • stressedout21
    July 10, 2007 at 8:32 PM
     I know how you feel on the whole unfaithful thing. I dated the father of my child (and I use those words lightly) for three years, before I married him. Everyone warned me that he was no good, but I didn't want to believe them. Now I have been married only a short year, and already, we have been separated, he's been to jail (numerous amount of times), he has another son(with a 16 year old) who is 2 months old( need I say more on his faithfulness) Turns out he was cheating on me the entire time we have been together, which is 4 long years. But the worse part of it, is he was just charged with child endangerment, and couldn't see our son if his life depended on it. The state put a no contact order on him against our son, and it has been months since my son has even heard his fathers voice. I have to hear him cry for his dad everyday. His dad says he wants to see our son, and to set up visitations, but he can't seem to straighten his life up, and just grow up. My advice to you, is that every child girl or boy, needs that special bond with their father, so unless there is a safety concern, I would try to work out some kind of visitation. One thing though, do go through the courts and get legal custody first, unfortunately,  just because us women carry the child, and have that maternal instinct, doesn't mean the father can't come and pull our children away from us in a heartbeat. Before the no contact order was placed, I was told by the police, that the father has every legal right (just as I do) to take my son. So watch who you leave your child with, at-least until you work something out. Legal aid would be a nice place to start, but I can tell you from experience, the only way they will help you, is if it involves domestic abuse. Otherwise they will tell you they have no funding. Your best bet to start, is to contact your county attorney. Who should be located in your courthouse. They should be either able to help you, or at the least, point you in the right direction. Good Luck, and I wish you and your daughter all the luck.
  • stressedout21
    July 10, 2007 at 8:32 PM
     I know how you feel on the whole unfaithful thing. I dated the father of my child (and I use those words lightly) for three years, before I married him. Everyone warned me that he was no good, but I didn't want to believe them. Now I have been married only a short year, and already, we have been separated, he's been to jail (numerous amount of times), he has another son(with a 16 year old) who is 2 months old( need I say more on his faithfulness) Turns out he was cheating on me the entire time we have been together, which is 4 long years. But the worse part of it, is he was just charged with child endangerment, and couldn't see our son if his life depended on it. The state put a no contact order on him against our son, and it has been months since my son has even heard his fathers voice. I have to hear him cry for his dad everyday. His dad says he wants to see our son, and to set up visitations, but he can't seem to straighten his life up, and just grow up. My advice to you, is that every child girl or boy, needs that special bond with their father, so unless there is a safety concern, I would try to work out some kind of visitation. One thing though, do go through the courts and get legal custody first, unfortunately,  just because us women carry the child, and have that maternal instinct, doesn't mean the father can't come and pull our children away from us in a heartbeat. Before the no contact order was placed, I was told by the police, that the father has every legal right (just as I do) to take my son. So watch who you leave your child with, at-least until you work something out. Legal aid would be a nice place to start, but I can tell you from experience, the only way they will help you, is if it involves domestic abuse. Otherwise they will tell you they have no funding. Your best bet to start, is to contact your county attorney. Who should be located in your courthouse. They should be either able to help you, or at the least, point you in the right direction. Good Luck, and I wish you and your daughter all the luck.

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