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Not very many father figures in my sons life
by Anonymous
April 18 at 12:53 PM
I feel really bad for my son. He's 2 and a half. I'm the one who has full custody of him. His dad comes and visits like twice a week. And each time he leaves our son cries. He is always calling random men who other kids are calling dads and he calls them dad too. I feel bad because he misses his own dad. I've tried to talk to my sons dad but he says he doesn't want to visit more than the 2 days than he already does. He has no job and has so much time that he won't even add a couple more days to visit.it just makes my heart hurt for our son.

Replies

  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    April 18 at 12:57 PM
    It’s for the better his dad isn’t in his life.
  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    April 18 at 1:01 PM
    My kids have been hurt so much that it's better their dad doesn't visit at all. Just teach him there are all kinds of families. He will appreciate you for all you have done.
  • virginiamama71
    April 18 at 1:03 PM
    If he's not a good example stop talking to him. If he wants to be a father he has to change on his own.
  • Anonymous 4
    by Anonymous 4
    April 18 at 1:12 PM

    My DDs father is very inconsistent in her life. He actually came to visit her last week after no contact whatsoever in three years. By the time, she turned a year, I stopped trying/pushing and put the responsibility solely on him.

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    April 18 at 1:21 PM
    I sort of stopped expecting him to come visit. Its also stressful because I have a brother in the air force who says he needs a father figure and has kept nagging at me to let my son live with him because he has 2 boys and a wife and thinks my son needs more that I can't give him. That made me not talk to him for awhile. This whole new single mom thing is just getting depressing.
  • Oliviasmom72
    April 18 at 6:54 PM
    Well why doesn’t he work? He sounds like a bum and when you have kid with a bum don’t expect much sadly.

    Sounds like Dad doesn’t want to do anything that requires any responsibility.

    What does he do for money?
  • Anonymous 5
    by Anonymous 5
    April 18 at 7:12 PM
    Your son is 2 he needs his mother. Do you have any male friends that are good role models? All you can do is teach your son that you love him and that his father not being around much is not his fault. I am a single mother of 4 boys. My oldest son’s father has seen him once since he was a year old. He has a good male role model in my brother in law.

    Quoting Anonymous 1: I sort of stopped expecting him to come visit. Its also stressful because I have a brother in the air force who says he needs a father figure and has kept nagging at me to let my son live with him because he has 2 boys and a wife and thinks my son needs more that I can't give him. That made me not talk to him for awhile. This whole new single mom thing is just getting depressing.
  • angelheart007
    April 19 at 10:36 PM

    That is heartbreaking for sure.  Maybe there are organizations like Big Brother that could help with a mentor for him or if you attend a church, maybe the support of some of the families there?  I pray his father will have a change of heart and want to see his son more. 

  • Anonymous 6
    by Anonymous 6
    April 21 at 11:28 AM

    What about a grandfather?  Does your father or an uncle live close?

  • Katya12
    by Katya12
    April 22 at 3:29 PM

    my biggest prayer after my divorce was for my son.    I was always crying to God, My son, My son!   Even though his father couldnt seem to be a father, other men stepped up to the plate and took my son fishing or taught him about working on a car, etc.   Do you belong to a church?  Many men will gladly spend some extra time with your son.   Do you have a brother, a father, an uncle that can be supportive?  If he can't have his father, a father figure is the next best thing.   Be creative in getting him into sports as he gets older.  Many coaches are wonderful, loving fathers to their team.   I so understand your hurting heart.   And I am sorry things are the way they are right now.  I will pray your ex has a change of heart.

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