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lyzzefrago
Starting to get back out there
December 8, 2017 at 3:42 PM

Hey guys! How has anyone moved forward with another partner after being in a long term relationship? Has anyone started trying to get out there while pregnant and single? I'm considering this and just want some advice. The pregnancy was with donor sperm so there is no dad, me and my ex had a complicated agreement between the two of us and he isn't going to be involved anymore than just being my friend and emotional support although we were techincally together when I conceived.

Replies

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1
    December 8, 2017 at 7:44 PM
    I've tried starting new relationships after 25 years of marriage. You have to be very careful but you probably already know that. Sorry I'm not much help
  • virginiamama71
    December 8, 2017 at 8:13 PM
    Whenever you feel ready....go and see what's out there for you.
  • cjsmom1
    by cjsmom1
    December 8, 2017 at 8:44 PM

    I wouldn't date while pregnant. You'll have a lot going on emotionally and tons to do to get ready for the baby. With that said if you feel ready to date then go for it.

  • lyzzefrago
    December 8, 2017 at 10:14 PM

    It's alright at least you responded! Yeah I definitely know there are a lot of freaks out there I was in a relationship for 8 years but I'm only 25 so that's a huge portion of your life. Did you just meet people naturally or did you try any specific sort of dating?

    Quoting Anonymous 1: I've tried starting new relationships after 25 years of marriage. You have to be very careful but you probably already know that. Sorry I'm not much help


  • lyzzefrago
    December 8, 2017 at 10:17 PM

    Yeah, I feel like I'm finally ready. It's horrible timing because of the pregnancy but I've been officially single for over 2 months now and the last entire year of my relationship was very off and on and rocky with times during that year when he was seeing other girls (during the off part of course not cheating) so I feel like I've basically been single for 1.5 years now, I just don't even know how to start. He was my only bf, we went out from when I was 17-25 and I met him in my high school very naturally when I was specifically not looking for anything origianaly, so I don't even know how to start. I met one person but it was a huge flop.

    Quoting virginiamama71: Whenever you feel ready....go and see what's out there for you.


  • lyzzefrago
    December 8, 2017 at 10:21 PM

    I originally planned to at least wait til I wasn't pregnant anymore but I'm feeling like I'm finally emotionally ready, the last 14 months of my realtionship was very off and on and rocky and even though we were together duiring the "off" parts he did see other girls. It's also been very hard to feel so alone in this which I didn't expect at first I thought I would be content just knowing I have life growing inside of me, but now I'm feeling lonely a lot of the time and feel like I should at least consider it. I just don't know where to start, I'm a pretty introverted person and kinda quirky and just don't even know how to go about meeting people in the first place that I would want to even try to date. Is there any suggestions on things I could do if I decided to try to date? I might chicken out in the end haha but if I have info at least I can better decide.

    Quoting cjsmom1:

    I wouldn't date while pregnant. You'll have a lot going on emotionally and tons to do to get ready for the baby. With that said if you feel ready to date then go for it.


  • virginiamama71
    December 8, 2017 at 10:27 PM
    You can meet people through family and friends, dating sites, out and about.
    Don't feel too bad if it's nothing more than one date or a few chats on the phone. This will get you used to meeting others and knowing different people.


    Quoting lyzzefrago:

    Yeah, I feel like I'm finally ready. It's horrible timing because of the pregnancy but I've been officially single for over 2 months now and the last entire year of my relationship was very off and on and rocky with times during that year when he was seeing other girls (during the off part of course not cheating) so I feel like I've basically been single for 1.5 years now, I just don't even know how to start. He was my only bf, we went out from when I was 17-25 and I met him in my high school very naturally when I was specifically not looking for anything origianaly, so I don't even know how to start. I met one person but it was a huge flop.

    Quoting virginiamama71: Whenever you feel ready....go and see what's out there for you.

  • lyzzefrago
    December 8, 2017 at 11:12 PM

    Yeah, I met this one person through my best friend's boyfriend and we talked on the phone every day for like an hour or two every day total for like 2 weeks and then we met in person and hung out a bunch and watched a few movies and had what I thought was a great time, and then I left the city he lives in and we never spoke again, he just ignored my texts and calls so I deleted his number and blocked him on snapchat. That was kinda hard because even though I only wanted to be friends it was hard to think that once he met me he changed his mind. I was only 7 weeks pregnant when we met in person too so he didn't even know I was pregnant, if it was that I probably would have understood.

    Quoting virginiamama71: You can meet people through family and friends, dating sites, out and about. Don't feel too bad if it's nothing more than one date or a few chats on the phone. This will get you used to meeting others and knowing different people.
    Quoting lyzzefrago:

    Yeah, I feel like I'm finally ready. It's horrible timing because of the pregnancy but I've been officially single for over 2 months now and the last entire year of my relationship was very off and on and rocky with times during that year when he was seeing other girls (during the off part of course not cheating) so I feel like I've basically been single for 1.5 years now, I just don't even know how to start. He was my only bf, we went out from when I was 17-25 and I met him in my high school very naturally when I was specifically not looking for anything origianaly, so I don't even know how to start. I met one person but it was a huge flop.

    Quoting virginiamama71: Whenever you feel ready....go and see what's out there for you.



  • ame4c
    by ame4c
    December 9, 2017 at 5:52 PM
    I was married 12 yrs to my kids sperm donor and then divorced because he walked out one day. Must of had an early mid-life crisis or something. Anyway, I got back out there and am re-married to an awesome man. The dating scene can be frustrating and will lower your self-confidence if you let it.

    Best advice I got was to learn to be myself again before trying to get into another relationship. You need to know what you want and not settle for whatever comes your way. You won't know what you want until you really know who you are when your alone. The other advice I have is do NOT let society make you feel like less of a person just because you are not paired off with someone. For some reason, society wants you to believe you are worthless without a partner. It is absolutely NOT true. I don't NEED a man in my life. I want one but I don't NEED one. There is a difference.
  • lyzzefrago
    December 9, 2017 at 7:16 PM

    Oh don't worry I absolutely agree with you. I've basically been single for the past 18 months and was cool with it and had no interest in being with anyone. The last 14 months of our relationship was very rocky, we were "discussing breaking up" for 1 month, then together for 1, then broken up for 2, then together for 1, then broken up for 2, then together for the last 4/5 but fought a lot and started seeing each other less and less until the last month when I helped him move and drove up every week (he lives 1.5 hours away driving). Then I've been non-stop single for the past 4, or going on 4. I would never settle and never have, I spent 3.5 years of my high school single and was happy to do so, wasn't even looking when I met my now ex when I was 17, but we couldn't stop hanging out and just one thing led to another as usual lol.

    Dating can absolutely be frustrating (I think) which is why I've never dated. He was my only bf I've ever had and like I said we were friends first and just became more than friends so we never tried dating or anything we just weren't then were. I'm not sure if you read my other post but I tried to be friends in October with someone of the opposite sex and we got pretty tight I thought and then he just dropped me randomly, and we were just friends, that hurt so bad and so I can only imagine how bad it would be if I started liking someone a lot. I'm definitely confident enough to be alone, probably forever if I had to be, but like you said why should I have to be. There's no reason to feel like I'm forced to be alone but I'm not the type of person who would ever rush into a relationship or settle for some tool part of the reason I'm even asking for advice (lol) is because I refuse to go on dating sites/apps like Tinder just for that reason, and I'm sure there ARE people out there on Tinder type sites that aren't total tools, but the stereotype is just too strong. How did you end up meeting the person you're with now?

    Quoting ame4c: I was married 12 yrs to my kids sperm donor and then divorced because he walked out one day. Must of had an early mid-life crisis or something. Anyway, I got back out there and am re-married to an awesome man. The dating scene can be frustrating and will lower your self-confidence if you let it. Best advice I got was to learn to be myself again before trying to get into another relationship. You need to know what you want and not settle for whatever comes your way. You won't know what you want until you really know who you are when your alone. The other advice I have is do NOT let society make you feel like less of a person just because you are not paired off with someone. For some reason, society wants you to believe you are worthless without a partner. It is absolutely NOT true. I don't NEED a man in my life. I want one but I don't NEED one. There is a difference.


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