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Dtucci45
Depressed and lonely
November 27, 2017 at 5:41 PM
So I’m almost 6 months pregnant and my bf of 6 years left. He has went from wanting an abortion until the past week then signing rights over and now to taking my kid away and raising him with someone else. He’s very abusive in almost every way especially verbally. He took a job far away and I moved out and bought another house to raise our son. On the day before Thanksgiving he told me to call his mom and ask if I can come over for Thanksgiving and he said she would say no that no one likes me anymore and I’m not welcome. But 2 days before she was telling me how much she loved me and the baby. She calls it her baby which is strange and even suggested to give the baby up for adoption or to her and not abortion but I told her I was keeping him. I have family and a few friends but him and I aren’t talking especially after what he just did. It’s really lonely and I work 7 days a week at night and try to stay busy but I get really depressed. I’m even contemplating a pfa bc of all the verbal abuse he has put me through bc I’m keeping our son. Any advice?

Replies

  • amonkeymom
    November 27, 2017 at 6:46 PM

    Honestly, it sounds like he's trying to get a rise out of you. Don't give him the satisfaction. 

    I'd tell him that unless he's calling to talk to you about the baby, don't call at all. And, actually, I'd have him communicate via email rather than phone so that you have a record of all that is said between you.

    As for custody, if he continues this, tell him that you'll see him in court.

  • zboys
    by zboys
    November 27, 2017 at 6:48 PM
    Pfa?
  • M4LG5
    by M4LG5
    November 27, 2017 at 6:55 PM

    I agree with you.  Only talk with him when its productive.  When I'm talking to my ex and starts to get passive-aggressive, I end the conversation and hang up.  He hates it but I keep doing it until he stops. 

    Set up boundaries, do not fall into his trap.  I also think that email or text is a good mode of communication so that there is something that is documented. 

    Quoting amonkeymom:

    Honestly, it sounds like he's trying to get a rise out of you. Don't give him the satisfaction. 

    I'd tell him that unless he's calling to talk to you about the baby, don't call at all. And, actually, I'd have him communicate via email rather than phone so that you have a record of all that is said between you.

    As for custody, if he continues this, tell him that you'll see him in court.


  • virginiamama71
    November 27, 2017 at 7:04 PM
    Stop talking to him and his family.
    Contact a shelter for abused women in your area. They can help you get into counseling.
  • Oliviasmom72
    November 28, 2017 at 8:49 AM

    Ok first of all stop listening to him. He cannot sign his rights away and its extremely unlikely he will get custody.

    Stop talking to him and his family. They are totally toxic. It is not their baby. It is YOUR baby. Your BF has zero rights until paternity is established. Save his correspondence . Lean on your friends and family for support. You dont need this drama. Tell him you guys are broke up, and his family is not to contact you. Let him know you will check in with him on how the baby is doing and that is it apart from that him and his family are not to contact you.

    Your friends and family I hope, are a good support system. Do not let him or his family boss you around.

  • AzariahsMother
    November 28, 2017 at 10:56 AM

    Means different things in different states, but it's an Order of Protection.

    Quoting zboys: Pfa?


  • AzariahsMother
    November 28, 2017 at 10:59 AM

    Well sounds to me like you keep putting yourself in the line of fire and until you put an end to the communication the verbal abuse will continue to happen.  At this point I wouldn't be having a conversation unless it was about the baby.

  • AzariahsMother
    November 28, 2017 at 11:07 AM

    I wouldn't go as far as to say it is extremely unlikly for him to get custody because you are only hearing her side of the story and she is presenting him to us.  We have no idea what he is really like nor what he brings to the table. 

    Quoting Oliviasmom72:

    Ok first of all stop listening to him. He cannot sign his rights away and its extremely unlikely he will get custody.

    Stop talking to him and his family. They are totally toxic. It is not their baby. It is YOUR baby. Your BF has zero rights until paternity is established. Save his correspondence . Lean on your friends and family for support. You dont need this drama. Tell him you guys are broke up, and his family is not to contact you. Let him know you will check in with him on how the baby is doing and that is it apart from that him and his family are not to contact you.

    Your friends and family I hope, are a good support system. Do not let him or his family boss you around.


  • Oliviasmom72
    November 28, 2017 at 3:24 PM

    I would. It is Extremely unlikely a father would get custody of a baby unless he can prove the mom is totally unfit. He is just trying to bug her.

    Quoting AzariahsMother:

    I wouldn't go as far as to say it is extremely unlikly for him to get custody because you are only hearing her side of the story and she is presenting him to us.  We have no idea what he is really like nor what he brings to the table. 

    Quoting Oliviasmom72:

    Ok first of all stop listening to him. He cannot sign his rights away and its extremely unlikely he will get custody.

    Stop talking to him and his family. They are totally toxic. It is not their baby. It is YOUR baby. Your BF has zero rights until paternity is established. Save his correspondence . Lean on your friends and family for support. You dont need this drama. Tell him you guys are broke up, and his family is not to contact you. Let him know you will check in with him on how the baby is doing and that is it apart from that him and his family are not to contact you.

    Your friends and family I hope, are a good support system. Do not let him or his family boss you around.


  • AzariahsMother
    November 28, 2017 at 4:04 PM

    And she could very well be an unfit Mother.  We don't know that piece.  Again you are totally basing your comment on what she is saying which could not be valid at all. 

    Quoting Oliviasmom72:

    I would. It is Extremely unlikely a father would get custody of a baby unless he can prove the mom is totally unfit. He is just trying to bug her.

    Quoting AzariahsMother:

    I wouldn't go as far as to say it is extremely unlikly for him to get custody because you are only hearing her side of the story and she is presenting him to us.  We have no idea what he is really like nor what he brings to the table. 

    Quoting Oliviasmom72:

    Ok first of all stop listening to him. He cannot sign his rights away and its extremely unlikely he will get custody.

    Stop talking to him and his family. They are totally toxic. It is not their baby. It is YOUR baby. Your BF has zero rights until paternity is established. Save his correspondence . Lean on your friends and family for support. You dont need this drama. Tell him you guys are broke up, and his family is not to contact you. Let him know you will check in with him on how the baby is doing and that is it apart from that him and his family are not to contact you.

    Your friends and family I hope, are a good support system. Do not let him or his family boss you around.



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