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Funny how you can be a single mom in a relationship with the dad
September 22, 2013 at 7:57 AM
I am not new to this board, just a new account because the old one was sending me spam and I stopped coming up here because I didnt want my ex knowing I use this site. Anyway, I got back with my ex over the summer and I didnt want to. Prior to that, he was a POS...barely saw his kids and didnt want to pay cs. I tried to be friendly with him because thats the only way I could get him to spend time with the kids. He gave me an ultimatum to be with him or things would go back the way they were...meaning he would be a POS father again. Stupid me thinking about the kids and no myself got back with him. The entire time I was paying for everything, he would use me for my car, ask me to pay for something for him say he would pay me back on his payday and never did, would eat up my food and not pay for any of it, never kept the kids by himself, when it was time to take them somewhere he'd never come with was like he was mooching! And he was the one working this summer not me. So I fell into a big hole which I have to dig myself out now. But damn how can you still be a single mom in a relationship with the dad. Makes no damn sense. WHy should I have to take my son to the barbershop? Why should I have to find my own way to fix my tire when it went flat...he left me and the the kids because he "couldnt fix it" and I had to drive on rim to a tire shop. Why should I have to pay for everything when he was the one working? I was living off of my last paycheck. Thank god CS threatened his job about garnishments and Im finally getting it. But I eventually got fed up and left. I am so happy now. The only thing I need to do is fix myself financially and I will be fine. How can a man live like that? You are with the mother of your kids and you act like I am some random girl you met and these arent your kids. He also tried to move in with me. Now that I wasnt stupid enough to do. I am in the process of maybe getting put out and Im going to move you in when you cant even save 20 bucks from your paycheck to help out with thanks. I am so glad I left and as much as we women say we wont go back...I have no reason to. He is a poor excuse for a man and father. All he did was bring me down. I was doing better before I started being friendly to him. Maybe I shouldve kept it like's back to that now already and we have only been broken up and a week. He wont call them. Hes already told me not to contact him. He is already making plans to get them and cancelling them...its like just go away smh....sorry had to vent again lol. My friends are all too busy in their own worlds to listen.


  • virginiamama71
    September 22, 2013 at 9:40 AM

     Hopefully you will stop contact with him even if it is something about the kids since he has already showed he has no interest in being a father.

  • Cenedra64
    September 22, 2013 at 10:06 AM
    He just wants someone to use. My exes were just like that. Never grow up
  • kerriclub
    September 22, 2013 at 11:02 AM

    Oh how I wish I could I wouldve done that along time ago lol...but I have to because we have a court order...eventhough we always stop following it once  we get together...but u are right im not answering him anymore unless hes telling me when he is picking them up n dropping them off....shockingly he came to pick them up today. 

    Quoting virginiamama71:

     Hopefully you will stop contact with him even if it is something about the kids since he has already showed he has no interest in being a father.

  • cjsmom1
    by cjsmom1
    September 22, 2013 at 4:28 PM

    Some men never grow up. You need to focus on doing what's best for you and your kids. that's not the type of "man" you want setting an example for your kids. If he doesn't want to be there then it's his loss.

  • mz23
    by mz23
    September 22, 2013 at 5:24 PM
    Wow what a coward. My ex acted similar. Its crazy what we put up with. Oh wel...good for you for moving forward and putting you and your kids first. Go mama! !
  • mestelle0711
    September 22, 2013 at 9:27 PM

    my ex sounds just like yours...some men just arent ready for what they get themselves into and feel like they're entitled to whatever is ours simply because they share dna with our kids which is not the case at all. good for you on your epiphany!

  • kfrog13
    by kfrog13
    September 23, 2013 at 10:06 AM

    Yeah, I felt like a single parent while living with my husband.  He slept all the time, never got up with our son, got addicted to pain pills, racked up debt, started surfing dating sites, and more and I stupidly stayed long enough to get pregnant again.  I left at 9 weeks pregnant and I feel a million times better.  Guess what? He's also had to step up to the plate and actually be a parent to get to see his kid!  I don't get any money out of him yet, but at least I'm not supporting his bad habits anymore.  You can't change anyone but yourself.  All you can do is draw the line and let them know that you will no longer put up with their shit.  My husband I think is still shocked by all of this and amazing how much I've changed.  To me it's a no brainer, the kids are the most important thing and you just do what you can to try to provide a loving and stable enviroment.  Not act like a damn child yourself...

  • mrsary
    by mrsary
    September 23, 2013 at 10:16 AM
    My ex h expects me to pick him up from airport to see our kids. Told him he is not my responsibility and if he wants to see them he will find a way. He hasn't seen them in almost 4 years! When we were married he lived off me until I caught on. We were both Army, but I paid all the bills & he didn't even have a vehicle! He was 30 then and lived off me at 24 . Before me he lived with his 18 yr old gf & her parents!!
  • kitty8199
    September 23, 2013 at 10:23 AM
    Being in a relationship for the kids is not what is best for the kids.

    You being happy (happy moms are better moms) is what is best.

    No advice on the dbd shit, but in and out will Fuck them up. Tell him to pick one.

    My ex`s dad was in and out and they're in again now (saw him again for first time in two years in March), and bothers him as an adult.

    He said it was hard growing up and it still is. He feels conflicted about his stepdad (dad) who raised and adopted him. His bio dad wants him to change his last name to his. In and out is bad.
  • hayliedlr
    September 23, 2013 at 10:41 AM

    I think and the kids will be better off

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