Single Moms

Featured Posts
cboutain
would you still date a guy if your kids don't like him?
August 27, 2013 at 8:09 PM
My kids dad and I broke up about 2 years now. I'm dating a new guy who loves my kids like his own. Now we live together and I'm starting to see he is getting too comfortable. My 5 year old daughter doesn't like him and my 2 year old son is ok but sometimes when we go to the store he doesn't want him to touch the basket. We were engaged for a few months but I called it off since we were having problems. Now I'm wondering if I should stay with him because I don't want to be with someone if my kids are uncomfortable with him. I NEED HELP!!!

Replies

  • MissAmber6
    August 27, 2013 at 8:14 PM
    In my opinion I would break it off, it's not just your happiness but your kids too and I'm also a fond believer that young children can sense not so good people.... A fulfilling life for you and your kids doesn't seem like an option in this case. But maybe you should try and figure out why your kids don't like him first if you are really wanting it to work. GL
  • virginiamama71
    August 27, 2013 at 8:48 PM

    The children come first. 

  • cupcake_mom
    August 27, 2013 at 8:54 PM
    You youngest is only 2 how long have you been together?
  • krisnkids
    August 27, 2013 at 9:01 PM

    Broke up with dad for 2 years, living with bf, engaged for a few months, broke it off. To me it sounds like you need to slow down and take a huge step back. When children are involvd you need to move at a snails pace. From the sounds of it you are moving with traffic so to speak. If you are no longer engaged with bf then you need to be living on your own with your kids the priority. If bf is worth his weight then he will understand that the kids need to come first. If he doesn't support it then you need to drop him and focus on kids. Date for fun, live, and adjust.

  • NovaChick26
    August 27, 2013 at 9:09 PM

    Honestly if it were me and my kids didnt like the man I was with then no I would not stay with him , I feel like kids have good intutition on these things, plus my DD always comes first . My mom after she and my dad divorced started dating a guy and eventually married him but both my brother and I had a rough time with him from the start and to this day I still resent my mom for marrying him and keeping him around my brother and I when we had issues with him from day one its never been a comfortable situation. I dont know 100% whats your siutation with your bf but for me having gone through it as a child I wouldnt put my DD in the same situation

  • woodstock525
    August 27, 2013 at 9:41 PM

    No, I would not stay with him.  I was 15 when my mom started dating my stepdad.  Neither my sister nor I liked him.  She left us home alone while she practically moved in with him after knowing him about 2-3 weeks.  Now I get that she was lonely....she was an only child and her last parent, my grandma, had died about 5 months prior to that.  My dad had suicided 11 years prior. 

    After 6 weeks of dating, she has my sister and me in the car with him and turns to us and says, "We're getting married in two weeks.  If you have anything to say, say it now or hold your peace."  With him there, what were we, a 14 and 15 yo going to say? 

    He came onto my sister and my mom never believed it.  He quit working within 2 years of their marriage and she supported him (she had made more than him before that).  He claimed to be putting in applications "everywhere" but never got a call back.  I caught him lying about that and told my mom, but she wouldn't believe that either.  They were married 17 years before she divorced him....because he was sneaking around with the neighbor across the street whom he later married. 

    My point....your kids know.  Sometimes it is insecurity, but you need to trust your kids instincts and ask your friends/relatives to be absolutely brutally honest with you about your choice in a man....and then listen!  Don't blow them off as being jealous or not wanting to see you happy.  Any relationship I've had that my mom didn't care for eventually ended up turning out just as predicted...not a happy one.

  • PKOERNER
    August 27, 2013 at 9:51 PM
    I was in a situation coming close to where you are now. The guy tried so hard with my kids but my oldest just could not bond with him. I took a step back and observed my own relationship with him and before moving in together, I thought... She's been through enough. This just isn't the right guy, and we have our problems anyway. We broke up. A year or so later I started dating again and stumbled upon a wonderful person, with whom my kids took to within hours, literally. I could see more what we all needed. And he has been the most awesome and supportive partner I could ask for to date. Te kids adore him, and ask to spend time with all of us and his daughter a lot. I still haven't taken the jump to more serious relationship after two years, because I just need to be sure. You will know if it is off. The feeling is sour for your kids, sometimes it's because they see things we don't when we r lookin through rosé colored glasses (that first year or two). I hope all works out well for you. Many blessings
  • hayliedlr
    August 27, 2013 at 10:22 PM

    no

  • CrystalYaris
    August 27, 2013 at 10:31 PM

    Listen to your children. I'd call it quits. I wish my mom had listened to me about some of the guys she was with. I didn't like a couple of them. One guy she dated when I was 10, I flat out told the guy to his face that I hated him and wanted to smash his ugly face. Then another guy she was with when I was 13. I tried to play it cool with him, but deep down I hated him. I never verbalized it because by then I realized mom was going to do what she wanted. They married when I was 14 and he and I got into fights everyday. Our neighbors had to break up many fights we had. Now, they are divorced (since I was 20, I'm now 27) and she tells me everyday she wished she listened to me. So, please, listen to your kids. They know somehow. They just do.

  • LifeCafe42
    August 27, 2013 at 11:17 PM
    Your kids are very important take a step back and evaluate. Your 5 year old will influence the little one. Talk to her find out why she doesn't like him

Single Moms

Active Posts in All Groups
More Active Posts
Featured Posts in All Groups
More Featured Posts
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN