advice - court on the 9th for cs and custody

[Chloesmom2004]

Never done this before and was looking for some advice. On my phone so sorry about any typos. So we broke up in May, he moved out around May 24. Our work schedules are pretty messed up. I usually start work at 430am and he works nights so doesn't get off til around 1-3 in the morning. He still helps me with my older daughter by taking her to summer camp. So what we agreed on was that he would get to our place (he's still on the lease n paying his half of the rent although its always late) at the time that I had to leave, wait til our daughter woke up, take my oldest to camp if he has to then go back to his place until it was time for him to go to work and drop her off with me. He would do the same on his days off and keep her for the night. Well it hasn't gone that way at all. He watches our daughter here at our place while I'm at work. His days with her have slowly turned into him hanging with her here at the apartment and waiting til I get home from work, usually around noon, leaves and tells me he'll pick her up after her nap because she sleeps better here. Last weekend he didn't even take her over night and told mr he'd stay until she went to bed and ended up leaving just after 6pm. Now I rather have her with me. He lives with his friends until our lease is up and we can go onto our own separate places. He says its easier to watch her at our place because they have too much stuff shr can get into and would be chasing her arou the whole time. The biggest problem I have with this situation is that he has barely given me money for child support until we get something court ordered. For the month of kune he gave me $70 for food. I pay the sdge and cable bill. So he's here all day, eating the food that I pay for, saying yhe baby ate it (she does kinda eat a lot) using power obviously because tje tv is always on, drinki my water, juice etc, using the diapers and wipes I buy. Mean while he barley has to spend any of his own money to supply what she needs on his time. Legally I can't do anything cuz he's on the lease and oays rent still. He gets sooo pissed when I ask him to clean up his messes, as he should since we are no longer together and cleaning up after each other went out tje window....so, in court, do I askfor more money since technically he really isnt providing for her at all? He's eating food that I have to buy and some of that is witjh fs and that money is to feed my kids not him. Also, he doesn'tppay rent with his friends so he's not paying anything extra by him not living in our place. He says when we get out of our lease and he's able to get his own olace tjat it will change but that's not for another 4 months...I cant keep doing this...sorry this is so long and thanks for reading

[Chloesmom2004]

I filled for full custody too btw

[larschick]

Male him pay for daycare too btw in case he can't be there to watch her.

[Chloesmom2004]

Quoting larschick:

Male him pay for daycare too btw in case he can't be there to watch her.

I applied for early head start, just a matter of waiting to see if we get accepted, other wise that's plan B

[easinpc]

Hugs!!

[LifeCafe42]

Hugs I'm sorry good luck in court

[OCALAMOMOFTWINS]

My heart goes out to you, I have been dragged through family court for the last 3 years. Child support is partially calculated by the amount of overnights the child stays with you, that can work in your favor. Is he filing for joint custody? I live in FL and they, like a lot of other states now are favoring 50/50. I hate that idea. My ex did not get 50/50 and is determined to litigate every little thing now.

Good luck to you, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

[faerie75]

 well i would be annoyed about him eating allt he food and leaving a mess too. but he pays half the rent. where i live, thats more than what id get in child support. doesnt give him the right to leave you w the responsibility and cleaning after him and feeding him, but let me give you an example. before i got w mySO, my rent was 1369. i get 300 in child support for one kid. 300 is way less than 685, if you get my drift.

id try to suck it up until its handled in court and both of you have your own places. right now he is in transition. it wont always be this way.

[Chloesmom2004]

Quoting OCALAMOMOFTWINS:

My heart goes out to you, I have been dragged through family court for the last 3 years. Child support is partially calculated by the amount of overnights the child stays with you, that can work in your favor. Is he filing for joint custody? I live in FL and they, like a lot of other states now are favoring 50/50. I hate that idea. My ex did not get 50/50 and is determined to litigate every little thing now.

Good luck to you, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Thank you. Yes, he is filing for joint on everything. Which really I have no legit argument against oyher than he's lazy. Hes a good dad other wise and she's very attached to the both of us. Since he's moved out he's only had her over night once a week up until last week whdre he didn't keep her at all. I have her the rest of the time. The time he has been spending with her is slowly starting to go down. I'm nervous to see how tjings go. I know he'll be upset if I get my way :p

[Chloesmom2004]

Quoting faerie75:

 well i would be annoyed about him eating allt he food and leaving a mess too. but he pays half the rent. where i live, thats more than what id get in child support. doesnt give him the right to leave you w the responsibility and cleaning after him and feeding him, but let me give you an example. before i got w mySO, my rent was 1369. i get 300 in child support for one kid. 300 is way less than 685, if you get my drift.

id try to suck it up until its handled in court and both of you have your own places. right now he is in transition. it wont always be this way.

No, I understand. He is on the lease but could have screwed me completely and just stop giving me that too. I could even look pass the mess though, if he was giving me more than $70 a month towards food, especially since he's still eating it like he lives there. I had to apply for food stamps to help feed my two kids since we broke up and he moved out. I don't think its right for him to eat that food and not give me money to replace it. Like I said legally I know I camt do anything about him being there. I wouldn't mind as much if he was actually helping...

[OCALAMOMOFTWINS]

Didn't you say that he does not have a place of his own to live yet? He is living with friends? He won't get joint custody without a permenant address.

Quoting Chloesmom2004:

Quoting OCALAMOMOFTWINS:

My heart goes out to you, I have been dragged through family court for the last 3 years. Child support is partially calculated by the amount of overnights the child stays with you, that can work in your favor. Is he filing for joint custody? I live in FL and they, like a lot of other states now are favoring 50/50. I hate that idea. My ex did not get 50/50 and is determined to litigate every little thing now.

Good luck to you, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Thank you. Yes, he is filing for joint on everything. Which really I have no legit argument against oyher than he's lazy. Hes a good dad other wise and she's very attached to the both of us. Since he's moved out he's only had her over night once a week up until last week whdre he didn't keep her at all. I have her the rest of the time. The time he has been spending with her is slowly starting to go down. I'm nervous to see how tjings go. I know he'll be upset if I get my way :p