Single Moms

Featured Posts
Cafe AmyS
Is it OK to date more than one man at a time?
July 3, 2013 at 1:30 PM

Dating Two Men at Once Feels So Right -- But Is It Wrong?

by The Stir Bloggers

heartI don't want to be in a committed relationship right now. After getting out of a horrible one earlier this year, the last thing I'm looking to do is to settle back down. Of course, in the beautiful way that life always magically works out, now is the time when I've met a handsome, driven man who could be really, really great for me. The catch? Well, I've met two of them. Yes -- I'm dating two men. Separately, of course.

Nice dinners, movies, brunches, sports bars, clubs ... we've done 'em all. I know. It sounds bad. But listen, I'm single. Just because we've been on three or four dates, does that mean that I'm supposed to close off my other options? I know if the tables were turned and I found out one of them was seeing someone else, it would bother me for sure. But as someone who was so completely selfless for so long, I contemplate if I've earned the chance at being selfish -- if just for now.

But I confess: The things I'm learning from this multi-man situation are amazing me.

These two men, they're different in so many ways. There are things about both of them that I admire, qualities that I could do without, but I find myself so thankful every time I'm with either of them -- knowing that they genuinely enjoy my company like I enjoy theirs. That is why I've had a hard time choosing just one. Not only because I haven't been forced to, but because I enjoy seeing them both, separately.

So what have I learned? Well, since I'm not focused on one person, I'm not constantly wondering about what they're doing or where they are. Whereas I would usually be annoyed if a day or two goes by and we don't speak -- in my current situation, it doesn't faze me as much. I find that because I'm not giving either man too much attention, the interactions that we do have are more pleasant. I find that since I'm not obsessing over the scenarios, my mentality is better. Since I have no expectations, I'm not getting let down. My confidence is better when I'm out. I feel happier.

I'll be honest: It won't last for much longer. I firmly believe there's only so long you can go dating a person before you do have that "what are we doing here" kind of talk. As a girl who doesn't want a steady commitment right now, who knows, maybe I'll lose them both. But for now, for the time being, I can safely say that whether or not it's the right move -- dating two men simultaneously has been good for me.

Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? Do you think it's wrong?

Have you ever dated more than one man at a time?
  • Only group members can vote in this poll.
  1. 48% - Yes
  2. 52% - No
  3. 0% - Other, please explain

Replies

  • chirpymama87
    July 3, 2013 at 1:31 PM
    Lol.
  • steviechick
    July 3, 2013 at 1:37 PM

    Well, I'm currently on a dating site.  If two hot dudes ask me out I'd go out with them separately.  I'm not attached and until I am I don't see anything wrong with dating several guys. 

  • conniejo75
    July 3, 2013 at 1:37 PM
    As long as all parties know, I will date more than one. But once it becomes serious with one, I drop any others.
  • easinpc
    by easinpc
    July 3, 2013 at 3:19 PM

    I only date one at a time, even if it is casual getting to know the person dating.

  • Stephd710
    July 3, 2013 at 5:33 PM

    Date?  yes.  Sleep with or be in a relationship with?  No.  Thats what dating is for, to find the best one and get rid of the others.  LOL!  

  • woodstock525
    July 3, 2013 at 9:21 PM

    I've never dated more than one guy.  I wouldn't want to be in an awkward position of being on a date with one and running into the other.  Or, meeting friends/family of one and having them see me out on a date with someone else, unless I was honest and up front with both guys that I was not being exclusive.

    In terms of sex, if I were dating more than one guy and having sex with both or more of them, I'd feel like a real 'ho.  So no, I wouldn't do that.  If I were having sex with either, I'd make darn sure to be on extremely reliable birth control.  Can you imagine their reaction and/or the judges reaction to ...I was dating two guys, so I don't know which one is the baby daddy.  That's a set up for a Jerry Springer show for sure.

  • cjsmom1
    by cjsmom1
    July 4, 2013 at 11:57 PM

    I wouldn't be able to date more then one person at a time. I was cheated on and know how it feels to find out the person you were datiing was dating someone else.

  • conniejo75
    July 4, 2013 at 11:59 PM
    It's not cheating if you are upfront and just dating. Not committed.


    Quoting cjsmom1:

    I wouldn't be able to date more then one person at a time. I was cheated on and know how it feels to find out the person you were datiing was dating someone else.


  • cjsmom1
    by cjsmom1
    July 5, 2013 at 12:21 AM

    If you're upfront about it then it's different. I'd hate to be dating someone for a few months only to find out they were dating someone else. I would think most people aren't upfront about these things.

    Quoting conniejo75:

    It's not cheating if you are upfront and just dating. Not committed.


    Quoting cjsmom1:

    I wouldn't be able to date more then one person at a time. I was cheated on and know how it feels to find out the person you were datiing was dating someone else.




  • conniejo75
    July 5, 2013 at 12:26 AM
    Dating does not equal committed. Even after a few months... Unless i have had "the talk" & agreed to be monogamous, I would assume we are both free to date. Once committed to someone that's different.


    Quoting cjsmom1:

    If you're upfront about it then it's different. I'd hate to be dating someone for a few months only to find out they were dating someone else. I would think most people aren't upfront about these things.

    Quoting conniejo75:

    It's not cheating if you are upfront and just dating. Not committed.





    Quoting cjsmom1:

    I wouldn't be able to date more then one person at a time. I was cheated on and know how it feels to find out the person you were datiing was dating someone else.







Single Moms

Active Posts in All Groups
More Active Posts
Featured Posts in All Groups
More Featured Posts
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN