So the new boyfriend and I took a relatively short vacation together this past weekend while the kids are with ex DH for the summer. During the school year, we don't get to spend that much time together but have managed to work out a relationship that I guess is working. The whole trip, I just kept picking up on things that he did that annoyed me; i.e. his terrible snoring, know-it-all-attitude and stubbornness. I'm not sure if it was because it was our first chunk of real time spent together or what, but I couldn't wait to get home to a peaceful nights sleep and not having to deal with anyones' moods. If this is what I'm pushing for, I'm not sure I want it. Anyone else feel like a serious relationship (ie putting up with another man) may not be what they really want? I guess after being married and now divorced, I just don't feel like dealing with having to compromise with another person.
by GoldenLindsJune 12, 2013 at 2:14 PMThat sounds miserable:-( I entered the dating world dead set against anything serious. I just didn't want to deal with all the expectations etc. Then I started dating my SO. I almost ended it when I realized he wanted something serious. Then I saw aome other guys and kept wiahing I was with him instead. So I statyed seeing him anyways and its been great. Those things that always annoyed me with ny ex, fighting over the blankets, snoring, the I don't care attitude, the same things don't bother me at all. I actually find them endearing in him. My guess is its because I truly love him. I think if those little tjings make you want peace then he's not your guy.
by steviechickJune 12, 2013 at 2:14 PM
I hope my future SO doesn't have that many issues I can't live with. My ex snored whenever he had sinus infections so bad that I had to sleep in the guest bedroom. He also would get violently ill whenever his sinus infections were bad. I hated to listen to him throwing up in the bathroom. It was digusting. I'm much healthier then he is, so I rarely got sick. I never even threw up in front of my husband.
Not everyone is perfect, but at least you know what to expect with your SO. If you plan on marrying him or at least staying with him for a while this is what you expect. I dislike having to compromise, too, but I don't want to stay single the rest of my life.
by Baby5678June 13, 2013 at 5:46 AM
I totally feel this way. I tried to date a little bit, but after the crazy relationship with my Baby's father, I think I have lost all taste for relationships and patience for peoples bullshit. I've decided to be single for now.
June 13, 2013 at 9:20 AM
I'm going through that right now. I was with my ex for 7 years. When we broke up I tried to date but I just couldn't do it. It's like I'm heartless now. All I want to do now is enjoy peace and quite when my DD is away with her daddy. I think once you get out of a long relationship or marriage you just need time to love yourself instead of a man. So enjoy whatever you like to do. Live your life the way that is going to make you happy.
June 13, 2013 at 9:35 AM
I did feel like that, I dated a few guys here and there but it never got serious. I kept picking out everything in the world I could find wrong with them (when in retrospect they really were good guys and weren't doing much wrong) I was just so dead set against another relationship after the craptasticness of my relationship with DD's father that I couldn't stand the idea of a relationship with anyone...so I mostly dated here and there for a bit of compainonship no actual relationship and no sleeping around..
Then me and my SO who I have known for years and had become good friends with over the course of a year asked me out...I was still slow to say we were together or it was anything other then just hanging out as friends he kept saying we were "dating" and I was saying we were "just hanging out as friends" neither of us were seeing other people though and then after about a month or so we kinda had the talk of what we were since we were seeing each other and not other people we pretty much decided we were together...
of course we have only been together since jan...but I do spend every other weekend at his house and maybe I am still just wearing the rose colored glasses, but at this point I haven't been able to pick out anything that really annoys me other then his sleeping habits are totally diff then mine I sleep in the dark with a radio on for some slight noise...he likes the tv on which of course I can't stand cause of the light from it. LOL at this point that is about my only thing I can find to complain about...
I guess when its right your willing to overlook the snoring and the little moods and what not and if its not, and your questioning your feelings and if you are happy then its probably best to consider a break or to consider ending the relationship completely..
June 13, 2013 at 9:59 AMMy bf doesn't snore thank god! We have a blast when we go on mini-trips. How long have you been dating? We were together 7 months before we got a chance to get away for a weekend. He didn't bother me at all. Maybe he just isn't the right guy? I know how it is, b/c we only saw each other every other weekend and occasionally a night here or there in between. He works nights, and I have full custody of 2 kids, so it 's hard!
by Kenzie_2June 13, 2013 at 10:27 AM
Been there! I went through this 'phase' I guess you could call it where I wanted the company of men, but I didn't want to seriously date. Did that for probably 6 months to 8 months before I met someone that I felt like I could date, but it pretty much came down to being ready to date because quite a few of the guys that I just casually dated were really good guys.