Single Moms

Shygirl951
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May 25, 2013 at 4:34 AM
Here's my story. Okay I told you guys how I wanted to leave my sons father etc. And I did. I packed up moved out, but didn't file for custody because we had made a verbal agreement with no disagreements. Silly me! So my sons father takes my son and refuses to give him back to me. I call the police they tell me there's nothing they can do. I freak out. At the end of that day he texts me to come get my son, I go to the location and we get into an argument becuase he won't give him to me! He pushes me I grab him, he gets a scratch, calls the police, I soend a week in jail for domestic violence! Get out of jail to a restraining order and bim telling me I can't see my son until the court orders him too and he's filing for full cusfodh and wants xhild support etc. He put my son on formula and started him on baby food and is leaving him with people I don't even know. I feel like I'm going crazy and I haven't stopped crying. Is there any advice you mamas have for me. I'm going back in forth to court for custody and trying to get these charges dropped I'm so stressed I can't eat or sleep. Help?!?!

Replies

  • conniejo75
    May 26, 2013 at 10:26 AM
    I was advised by 3 different lawyer in ca that if he is on bc he has established paternity and I needed to do custody papers immediately so something like this does not happen. This was back in 1995


    Quoting kitty8199:

    That part was for child support. The code states mom has full custody at birth if unmarried. Married they have assumed joint.



    Quoting conniejo75:

    "Unless paternity is established"... because father is already on BC he has been given paternity... married or not. In CA they generally do joint custody unless extreme cases require sole custody.






    Quoting Shygirl951:

    Nope but thanks anyways








    Quoting kitty8199:

    Maybe this code section if stated will make the cops get your child









    Quoting Shygirl951:

    Thank you.












    Quoting kitty8199:

    Unwed Mothers Under California Family Code Section 7610, an unwed mother automatically gains custody of her child upon birth. No legal action is required to assert her custodial rights. She is solely responsible for providing for her child and making decisions regarding his living arrangements, health care and education. Barring any court order, the mother determines what, if any contact, the father has with the child. However, unless paternity is established, the mother has no right to child support from the father in this situation.













    Quoting Shygirl951:

    I'm in CA and we're not married but he is on the bc
















    Quoting kitty8199:

    One thing I've learned its cops don't know shit about custody laws. Sometimes you have to force them by providing the law to them.








    What state, are you married, is he on the bc?













  • kitty8199
    May 26, 2013 at 10:36 AM
    That's different from what the law code I found said.
    Maybe that's why the cops won't help her. California is confused itself.


    Quoting conniejo75:

    I was advised by 3 different lawyer in ca that if he is on bc he has established paternity and I needed to do custody papers immediately so something like this does not happen. This was back in 1995




    Quoting kitty8199:

    That part was for child support. The code states mom has full custody at birth if unmarried. Married they have assumed joint.





    Quoting conniejo75:

    "Unless paternity is established"... because father is already on BC he has been given paternity... married or not. In CA they generally do joint custody unless extreme cases require sole custody.








    Quoting Shygirl951:

    Nope but thanks anyways










    Quoting kitty8199:

    Maybe this code section if stated will make the cops get your child











    Quoting Shygirl951:

    Thank you.














    Quoting kitty8199:

    Unwed Mothers Under California Family Code Section 7610, an unwed mother automatically gains custody of her child upon birth. No legal action is required to assert her custodial rights. She is solely responsible for providing for her child and making decisions regarding his living arrangements, health care and education. Barring any court order, the mother determines what, if any contact, the father has with the child. However, unless paternity is established, the mother has no right to child support from the father in this situation.















    Quoting Shygirl951:

    I'm in CA and we're not married but he is on the bc


















    Quoting kitty8199:

    One thing I've learned its cops don't know shit about custody laws. Sometimes you have to force them by providing the law to them.









    What state, are you married, is he on the bc?














  • conniejo75
    May 26, 2013 at 10:41 AM
    Yes Ca is a world unto it's own... and laws that contradict too. It's no wonder cops won't interfere unless CO or child is being abused


    Quoting kitty8199:

    That's different from what the law code I found said.

    Maybe that's why the cops won't help her. California is confused itself.




    Quoting conniejo75:

    I was advised by 3 different lawyer in ca that if he is on bc he has established paternity and I needed to do custody papers immediately so something like this does not happen. This was back in 1995






    Quoting kitty8199:

    That part was for child support. The code states mom has full custody at birth if unmarried. Married they have assumed joint.







    Quoting conniejo75:

    "Unless paternity is established"... because father is already on BC he has been given paternity... married or not. In CA they generally do joint custody unless extreme cases require sole custody.










    Quoting Shygirl951:

    Nope but thanks anyways












    Quoting kitty8199:

    Maybe this code section if stated will make the cops get your child













    Quoting Shygirl951:

    Thank you.
















    Quoting kitty8199:

    Unwed Mothers Under California Family Code Section 7610, an unwed mother automatically gains custody of her child upon birth. No legal action is required to assert her custodial rights. She is solely responsible for providing for her child and making decisions regarding his living arrangements, health care and education. Barring any court order, the mother determines what, if any contact, the father has with the child. However, unless paternity is established, the mother has no right to child support from the father in this situation.

















    Quoting Shygirl951:

    I'm in CA and we're not married but he is on the bc




















    Quoting kitty8199:

    One thing I've learned its cops don't know shit about custody laws. Sometimes you have to force them by providing the law to them.










    What state, are you married, is he on the bc?
















  • Toni1140
    May 26, 2013 at 10:50 AM

    OMG..I've been through a similiar situation as such with my ex-husband. Who long story short took my children and my baby boy at the time was about 11months old. Well I'm just going to be honest as I possibly can and tell you there is No quick fix to this. Manly because the court system is slow moving. Pray...I don't know your faith but constantly Pray because it drove my up a wall. The other thing is see if you can get a lawyer. I couldn't I had to represent myself because I couldn't afford one. Keep your cool, go file for visitation rights, at least you cans spend some quality time with him..it beats no time. Keep track of every details as if you were there with your child. Make sure you call to speak to your child write date and time everything. Doctors appt everything and write it down. Keep paperwork .Get assistance from the courts as to what you can do file your paperwork. Stay on top of your game and approach the judge with all you have. People who knows you, your credentilals have them speak up for you. You can win this...I did with Just God, my paperwork, my determination, my love for my children. My ex husband had lawyers with just little old me God moved one out and the other God allowed her to see the truth and God allowed the Judge to see the truth.  You will get through this, Please believe that. I am so so sorry you are going through this because I KNOW how you feel.  Good Luck with everything and God Bless.

  • CiciLos
    by CiciLos
    May 26, 2013 at 1:51 PM

    Oh, boy. Yes, it's time for a lawyer, indeed.  

    I went through this when my son was 5, the whole cop & fighting thing. Let me tell you... my son is scarred permanently. He vividly remember remembers every episode.

  • Chloesmom2004
    May 26, 2013 at 2:40 PM
    Where did you find this? I'm in ca also but dd was born in nc. Dad on bc. Just wanna know in case he tries pulling any shit...


    Quoting kitty8199:

    Unwed Mothers Under California Family Code Section 7610, an unwed mother automatically gains custody of her child upon birth. No legal action is required to assert her custodial rights. She is solely responsible for providing for her child and making decisions regarding his living arrangements, health care and education. Barring any court order, the mother determines what, if any contact, the father has with the child. However, unless paternity is established, the mother has no right to child support from the father in this situation.



    Quoting Shygirl951:

    I'm in CA and we're not married but he is on the bc






    Quoting kitty8199:

    One thing I've learned its cops don't know shit about custody laws. Sometimes you have to force them by providing the law to them.



    What state, are you married, is he on the bc?





  • kitty8199
    May 26, 2013 at 2:45 PM
    Googled "California custody law unwed mother".
    Quoting Chloesmom2004:

    Where did you find this? I'm in ca also but dd was born in nc. Dad on bc. Just wanna know in case he tries pulling any shit...



    Quoting kitty8199:

    Unwed Mothers Under California Family Code Section 7610, an unwed mother automatically gains custody of her child upon birth. No legal action is required to assert her custodial rights. She is solely responsible for providing for her child and making decisions regarding his living arrangements, health care and education. Barring any court order, the mother determines what, if any contact, the father has with the child. However, unless paternity is established, the mother has no right to child support from the father in this situation.



    Quoting Shygirl951:

    I'm in CA and we're not married but he is on the bc







    Quoting kitty8199:

    One thing I've learned its cops don't know shit about custody laws. Sometimes you have to force them by providing the law to them.




    What state, are you married, is he on the bc?








  • drivenleonian
    May 26, 2013 at 11:57 PM
    I'm in NV. My X dropped the charges because he didn't want me to go to jail.
    Maybe you can remind him that he won't get CS if you're in jail.


    Quoting Shygirl951:

    Geesh!! Yea I already have that in motion I can't afford a cRiminal record in the field I'm pursuing




    Quoting mlb456:

    Umm well i had atleast 17 charges between d.v trust passing and threatining (i cant spell for nothing! Lol and im moible) and outta all those charges i only got convicted of 3 d.v but thats cuz he would scratch himself or put some other mark on him take a pic n say i did it and all i had was "no i didnt i wasnt even with him at the time hes sayin this occured" of course their gonna believe the pic over words.. oh and for now on if possible when/if you go ANYWHERE around your X have a 3rd party present so that way if he tries to do this again you'll have a witness





    Quoting Shygirl951:

    Thank you. Did you get the charges dropped?








    Quoting mlb456:

    This!!! Ive been in the same situation as you. Ive been goin threw a custody battle for 3 f¿©king years! But if you cab find out just one time of where hes left your (i think you said son) even if you have to follow him as soon as he leaves call the cops they will make who ever has him give him over to you cuz they have no right to him even if its his grandparents and once you get him do NOT let him get his hands on him again until custody papers are wrote up. but you have to make sure he doesnt do the same thing of what you did lol.. if you need to vent ask a question anything just inbox me.. ive had 3 d.v charges aginst me from ds dad and all of them were fales but its his word against mine and as you fount out who ever has the mark is the one they will believe.. soooo sorry your going threw this *BIG huges*









    Quoting kitty8199:

    One thing if your child is with a stranger call the cops and have them get him from them. They have no legal rights. You're mom.



  • starry_mom
    May 27, 2013 at 8:47 AM
    Same in Oregon, if dude is on the bc, then that is "established paternity"

    Quoting conniejo75:

    I was advised by 3 different lawyer in ca that if he is on bc he has established paternity and I needed to do custody papers immediately so something like this does not happen. This was back in 1995




    Quoting kitty8199:

    That part was for child support. The code states mom has full custody at birth if unmarried. Married they have assumed joint.





    Quoting conniejo75:

    "Unless paternity is established"... because father is already on BC he has been given paternity... married or not. In CA they generally do joint custody unless extreme cases require sole custody.








    Quoting Shygirl951:

    Nope but thanks anyways










    Quoting kitty8199:

    Maybe this code section if stated will make the cops get your child











    Quoting Shygirl951:

    Thank you.














    Quoting kitty8199:

    Unwed Mothers Under California Family Code Section 7610, an unwed mother automatically gains custody of her child upon birth. No legal action is required to assert her custodial rights. She is solely responsible for providing for her child and making decisions regarding his living arrangements, health care and education. Barring any court order, the mother determines what, if any contact, the father has with the child. However, unless paternity is established, the mother has no right to child support from the father in this situation.















    Quoting Shygirl951:

    I'm in CA and we're not married but he is on the bc


















    Quoting kitty8199:

    One thing I've learned its cops don't know shit about custody laws. Sometimes you have to force them by providing the law to them.









    What state, are you married, is he on the bc?














  • happy57
    by happy57
    May 27, 2013 at 11:10 AM

    Get an attorney,period.Why in the world would you even leave your child in the first place.

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